Man_in_30s_trying_to_quit_from_last_10years

[GeminiMan]

I don't want you to get mad at me for saying this but I believe you are too hard on yourself, just like I tend to be (hopefully I will get rid of this). Being too hard on yourself can invite porn even more to offer "comfort". I know that when I hate myself, I don't have much success with the recovery. I don't have the ultimate solution, I don't think there is one, I believe that everyone has an approach that works for them and we should not stop searching for that plan that is particular to our lives and will help us succeed. It could be one thing, it could be several things, it could be a bigger picture, a bigger life plan or whatever, do some deep thinking and see if you can figure out how you should approach this. I've done this and I believe that abstinence from porn is not the only thing that I have to do, I will eventually spiral back to porn if this is all I'm doing. For me porn is a comfort zone, it's self-medication and unless I do something about this, about the trauma that I've been trying all my life to fix with "drugs", I will not fully recover. Yes, I could go 100 days without porn, maybe even this time, I've found a short term thing to use, but I have work to do. Some people seem to get longer streaks more easily, I don't, maybe you don't either, but it is what it is, we have more work to do but it doesn't mean we should not do it. I've read some of your posts and you remind me of myself, constantly relapsing with streaks under 10 days, over and over again, into an oblivion. That's what I've been doing for years. But I believe that a combination of things like short term habits, long term habits, trauma healing, building a better life etc is what I need and it's what I haven't been doing to the best of my abilities, I've been procrastinating a lot for years. It's time to up our games and work hard.

@Escapeandnevercomeback I can’t be mad on you my friend. I can only be mad on myself .mad on myself because even after being made available with all the lessons and knowledge and
consequences of P/chat rooms/Cams I have not been able to use all that knowledge to fully stop myself from accessing explicit materials. That is what is troubling for me . I sometimes ask this question whether I have lost majority of control over my impulses and chatroom/P/cam addiction is really in majority of control over my life and I have lost a lot of ground to these addictions and it is literally getting ready to wreck run over the rest of my life sucking out a lot of time/money/energy/happiness/freedom out of the remainder of my life .

That is my worst fear that I do not want to come true at any cost . It’s like a tug of war I feel where in you are being pulled in towards your red lines all the time . I want to pull it back now for the remainder of my life enjoying the control over my addictions and live free being a loving husband and a loving dad .
it is true that if we can’t find a true purpose to our life one that will positively consume us for the rest of our lives we are bound to relapse somewhere down the line may be after 6 months 1 years or 5 years .

I am with you on that saying we need to find a ever occupying purpose and activity for ourselves which can save us from future relapses .
hitting a successful 100/200 day streak is an daunting challenge but I think once you are in there with a long streak it is bound to fail if we haven’t yet found the thing that makes us tick for the rest of our lives at-least on a short term .

I am reading easy peasy method book now .
It’s going good so far and I hope to finish the book in next couple days .

 

[GeminiMan]

As I make progress with easy peasy method book I am discovering that I have been using either P/chatroom/cams to relieve me off stress .
stress at my work or stress from family matters or even when I face setbacks at work/family/social circles . So stress combined with loneliness is a perfect recipe to get me relapsed instantaneously.

I need to find other ways to cope with stressful moments and anxious moments or feelings of setbacks . I have tried slow and deep breathing to cope with similar situations and I’ve had success in the past .

I will need to be deliberate and intentional in building the slow regular breathing habit to cope with stresses and anxiety in my day to day . That may help me so I am starting that habit from today .

 

[Escapeandnevercomeback]

@Escapeandnevercomeback I can’t be mad on you my friend. I can only be mad on myself .mad on myself because even after being made available with all the lessons and knowledge and
consequences of P/chat rooms/Cams I have not been able to use all that knowledge to fully stop myself from accessing explicit materials. That is what is troubling for me . I sometimes ask this question whether I have lost majority of control over my impulses and chatroom/P/cam addiction is really in majority of control over my life and I have lost a lot of ground to these addictions and it is literally getting ready to wreck run over the rest of my life sucking out a lot of time/money/energy/happiness/freedom out of the remainder of my life .

That is my worst fear that I do not want to come true at any cost . It’s like a tug of war I feel where in you are being pulled in towards your red lines all the time . I want to pull it back now for the remainder of my life enjoying the control over my addictions and live free being a loving husband and a loving dad .
it is true that if we can’t find a true purpose to our life one that will positively consume us for the rest of our lives we are bound to relapse somewhere down the line may be after 6 months 1 years or 5 years .

I am with you on that saying we need to find a ever occupying purpose and activity for ourselves which can save us from future relapses .
hitting a successful 100/200 day streak is an daunting challenge but I think once you are in there with a long streak it is bound to fail if we haven’t yet found the thing that makes us tick for the rest of our lives at-least on a short term .

I am reading easy peasy method book now .
It’s going good so far and I hope to finish the book in next couple days .

I know what you're talking about, man, because my biggest fear is something similar: Never being able to escape this idiotic porn addiction for the rest of my life. My age has become a pressure. Once I reached 30 years old I started being very frustrated and angry that I was still dragged down by this stupid porn habit. And maybe letting my age pressure me this much isn't helping. Porn is my comfort zone, my medicine, of course in those kind of situations of stress about life, the urges to medicate myself get very strong as porn comes around and offers me comfort.

What you write in this post resonates with me strongly. In the last few months of last year I had the same problem: How come after all the study I'd done about porn addiction, plans, how to reboot etc. I was still binging porn on a weekly basis? I had had a good 50 days run and then I returned back to the same routine, as if I wasn't making any progress at all. I had become really exasperated that I didn't know the solution. What was I supposed to do to make it work? I don't think I have the full answer for this question but I think I'm on the good path now with this one change I've made since the beginning of the year: Making an effort to avoid engaging with the porn thoughts, flashbacks, fantasies and images. It is something that I've realized some time ago and, unfortunately, I haven't really put it well into practice since summer, until now. I said to myself: Okay, the way this addiction works is very straight forward: I experience a dopamine release as a reaction to porn. Then what's the thing I need to do? Avoid the dopamine release. This should help me. So I started trying to keep this dopamine to a minimum. I don't think it's achieveable to get rid of it completely, as I see things by mistake or porn images pop up in my head and create a dopamine release, but the word I'm using here is "minimum". Keep the porn dopamine to the most minimum possible. Obviously this includes not watching anything, no peeking, no pictures but very importantly and the reason why I used to fail: Porn stored in my head. As images pop up in my head to remind me I have to watch porn, I divert my attention right away and focus on something else. Ideally is to do this in the first second, the longer it goes, the more dopamine frenzy I create for myself and the harder is for me to control it. You talked about control, we do have some control but not completely. My control is to keep porn dopamine to a minimum, if not, my control decreases with every second I spent playing porn in my head. But what about seeing something by mistake? The same, close that right away, and avoid visualizing it in my head as soon as possible by focusing on something else like imagining myself doing something, playing tennis or whatever. Once I see something, that image remains in my head, I see it right in front of my eyes but I have 1 second to ignore it. I believe this is an important tool in the strategy of beating this porn addiction, of course it's not everything, there is more to it but I feel that it should be included in the plan at all costs. With the exception of one 20 days long streak (during the 50 days streak), and this one nowadays, the other few 20 days streaks were achieved by playing porn in my head all day and suffering with the dopamine frenzy like a dog all day until ultimately I couldn't take it anymore and relapsed. This time it has been done in a very disciplined, controlled manner, avoiding to pay attention to the porn in my head and it's been my second ever 20 days streak without feeling like I was tortured, the first was during the 50 days streak but then I started to fuck it up, I stopped avoiding to engage with the porn thoughts and paid the price. I must avoid that this time. Of course I had some rough days this time too, but I never felt that I was completely beaten day in day out. So I think something might happen here. Maybe I'm on something good. God damn, look how much I ended up writing. Sorry, man.

 

[GeminiMan]

I know what you're talking about, man, because my biggest fear is something similar: Never being able to escape this idiotic porn addiction for the rest of my life. My age has become a pressure. Once I reached 30 years old I started being very frustrated and angry that I was still dragged down by this stupid porn habit. And maybe letting my age pressure me this much isn't helping. Porn is my comfort zone, my medicine, of course in those kind of situations of stress about life, the urges to medicate myself get very strong as porn comes around and offers me comfort.

What you write in this post resonates with me strongly. In the last few months of last year I had the same problem: How come after all the study I'd done about porn addiction, plans, how to reboot etc. I was still binging porn on a weekly basis? I had had a good 50 days run and then I returned back to the same routine, as if I wasn't making any progress at all. I had become really exasperated that I didn't know the solution. What was I supposed to do to make it work? I don't think I have the full answer for this question but I think I'm on the good path now with this one change I've made since the beginning of the year: Making an effort to avoid engaging with the porn thoughts, flashbacks, fantasies and images. It is something that I've realized some time ago and, unfortunately, I haven't really put it well into practice since summer, until now. I said to myself: Okay, the way this addiction works is very straight forward: I experience a dopamine release as a reaction to porn. Then what's the thing I need to do? Avoid the dopamine release. This should help me. So I started trying to keep this dopamine to a minimum. I don't think it's achieveable to get rid of it completely, as I see things by mistake or porn images pop up in my head and create a dopamine release, but the word I'm using here is "minimum". Keep the porn dopamine to the most minimum possible. Obviously this includes not watching anything, no peeking, no pictures but very importantly and the reason why I used to fail: Porn stored in my head. As images pop up in my head to remind me I have to watch porn, I divert my attention right away and focus on something else. Ideally is to do this in the first second, the longer it goes, the more dopamine frenzy I create for myself and the harder is for me to control it. You talked about control, we do have some control but not completely. My control is to keep porn dopamine to a minimum, if not, my control decreases with every second I spent playing porn in my head. But what about seeing something by mistake? The same, close that right away, and avoid visualizing it in my head as soon as possible by focusing on something else like imagining myself doing something, playing tennis or whatever. Once I see something, that image remains in my head, I see it right in front of my eyes but I have 1 second to ignore it. I believe this is an important tool in the strategy of beating this porn addiction, of course it's not everything, there is more to it but I feel that it should be included in the plan at all costs. With the exception of one 20 days long streak (during the 50 days streak), and this one nowadays, the other few 20 days streaks were achieved by playing porn in my head all day and suffering with the dopamine frenzy like a dog all day until ultimately I couldn't take it anymore and relapsed. This time it has been done in a very disciplined, controlled manner, avoiding to pay attention to the porn in my head and it's been my second ever 20 days streak without feeling like I was tortured, the first was during the 50 days streak but then I started to fuck it up, I stopped avoiding to engage with the porn thoughts and paid the price. I must avoid that this time. Of course I had some rough days this time too, but I never felt that I was completely beaten day in day out. So I think something might happen here. Maybe I'm on something good. God damn, look how much I ended up writing. Sorry, man.

Hey @Escapeandnevercomeback -
No problems man . I know how important it is to write down your flow of thoughts to arrive at a clear conclusion or lead .

I see what you’re saying. The “first second rule” as I would like to call it out . I think it is a game changer for all people here trying to reboot . I mean think about not having to go through a 5-10 minutes battle of wits inside your head before putting off the fire (dopamine bursts) .

Those 5-15 minutes of internal battle in your head (whether to fire up a browser and type my favorite P site url or not do it and move on ) can suck enough emotional and mental energy you need to finish almost half of your planned day to day work whether business or job or school.

Think of the scenario when you start getting the “first second rule” right successfully and repeatedly. Meaning as soon as the imaginations in your head or recalls of previous P sessions or previous euphoric moments pop up.
if you can manage to divert your mind within 1 second and not dive into the next phase which is the mental battle of wits in your head whether to open my browser or not . That saves you a major chunk of mental and emotional energy you need to get through your day !

I really have tried doing it in the past . But the overall flow is so subtle and automatic and smooth and quick that I realize I have crossed the red line only when the P site or chatroom texts or cam girls are already up there playing on my browser for about 2-3 mins . The whole process is so quick and catches you off guard many times .

So yeah I think we need to make that effort to stop the dopamine release altogether or atleast stop it much earlier than we have in previous attempt to reboot . That to me is a sure way to reboot successfully.

Hope we can save our energies for the people who truly deserve it in our lives and prevent P from robbing us off of these vital energies we need to live our life happily with real people Vs loosing them to 2D screens .

 

[Escapeandnevercomeback]

First second rule, yes, good name.

 

[Escapeandnevercomeback]

I really have tried doing it in the past . But the overall flow is so subtle and automatic and smooth and quick that I realize I have crossed the red line only when the P site or chatroom texts or cam girls are already up there playing on my browser for about 2-3 mins . The whole process is so quick and catches you off guard many times .

So yeah I think we need to make that effort to stop the dopamine release altogether or atleast stop it much earlier than we have in previous attempt to reboot . That to me is a sure way to reboot successfully.

I feel you, man, we all know how this goes. The autopilot. But I believe the response can be trained: To get to a place where the "1st second rule" as you call it becomes automatic and we also do this on autopilot. An image, a thought or whatever pops up in our head and we ignore it right away. It's not always easy but it's possible. The idea here is to ignore it, not engage with it or whatever you want to call it, but refrain from fighting against it, refrain from having the unrealistic idea that it can be avoided completely (porn thoughts are part of withdrawal, they will come), avoid doing anything that actually throws fuel to the fire. The best way to deal with it is to ignore it, to pay no attention, we don't "keep starring at it", we saw it, then we go on with our business. Again, I don't want to disrespect the fact that it's not always easy but it's a critical part of the plan in my opinion, even if you don't have a plan, trying this 1st second rule thing can help you a lot, it did help me. I was the guy who kept relapsing under 10 days and then one day I did this and made it to 3 weeks without feeling like I was completely tortured. Stopping the dopamine as soon as possible, or better said not letting the dopamine escalate more than the first second (ideally) or maybe even the first seconds (at worse), can be the key.

 

[GeminiMan]

Day 5 today .

Had real sex with my partner after very long and it was good . giving the real person the real love which they deserve much more than any 2D screens/cam girls/chat rooms/P thoughts fills you with confidence and self respect instead of creating a big void of those at the back of your mind .

“This is so true” that PMO creates low self confidence, high amounts of self doubts , self hate and higher level of stresses in your head. Not using PMO immediately starts filling you with confidence, self respect and Low stress levels .
which are vital for an ex-addict to recover and identify himself as a non-user.

MI30S

 

[GeminiMan]

Day 7 today
Feeling good and keeping busy . No time to think anything negative . So reboot is moving forward no problems

 

[GeminiMan]

Day 8 was tough I got a powerful trigger in afternoon and I broke my 1 second rule and slipped into chat sites . Though I managed to land on chat site I realized and kept recalling the learnings from easypeasymethod book and all that knowledge helped me put it away finally .

still managing to get through this period of urges one day at a time .

 

[GeminiMan]

Day 9
I could not stop myself from repeatedly sliding back into chat rooms and then at once I ended up MO ing to chats . I knew I should not be doing this at various points of time during my slippery moments and I am sad and I apologize to my inner self that I could not hold myself from accessing the explicit content again

my P at the moment in my life is text , no Images no Videos no cams . It’s just text and chat rooms . I got to do some more work here and be patient with myself and try again and kick this addiction.

I have been reading easypeasymethod and it has helped me go 8 days and I am grateful for that but I understand definitely that I failed in implementing easypeasymethod to its 100% which would have resulted in me not succumbing at all . I Will try again .

Day 1 tomorrow

 

[GeminiMan]

Day 2 today
almost there complete easypeasymethod book .
One thing I read was confusing that the book says “don’t try not to think about P/explicit content “ instead when mind reminds you of P/Explicit content then I should think “YIPPEE ! I AM A NON-USER!”

That seems a little confusing for me because in my last try I was trying not to think about P(in my case chat rooms) .

So may be the next time my mind reminds me I have not visited chat sites I would say “YIPPEE! I AM A NON-USER!” I see the author is trying to make it easy to quit . I’ll try this !

 

[Escapeandnevercomeback]

Day 2 today
almost there complete easypeasymethod book .
One thing I read was confusing that the book says “don’t try not to think about P/explicit content “ instead when mind reminds you of P/Explicit content then I should think “YIPPEE ! I AM A NON-USER!”

That seems a little confusing for me because in my last try I was trying not to think about P(in my case chat rooms) .

So may be the next time my mind reminds me I have not visited chat sites I would say “YIPPEE! I AM A NON-USER!” I see the author is trying to make it easy to quit . I’ll try this !

Yes, the point here is to avoid engaging with the thoughts (porn, chatrooms, flashbacks, fantasies etc. thoughts could have a wide range). Whatever helps you. My main problem being flashbacks and fantasies, what I do is replacing the porn images in my head with other images of me doing something else, like play chess moves at a board.

 

[GeminiMan]

Day 3 today
I am having a mental dilemma whether I should continue going to chat rooms and educate people about P usage and it’s disadvantages or is it my addict little monster trying to trick me to get into chat sites and then make me chat filthy .

I think the later is true . So unless I know how to swim first I won’t be able to help people drowning . I think the knowledge and experiences being shared by me here and other rebooting sites should be sufficient for where I stand with my recovery .

If I land on chat rooms even with a good intention the vision of flying explicit chats gonna get me hooked again for sure .

So I will not land on chat sites no matter what . Because those chat sites are my P sites .
Also after I’ve gone clean for a number of days the way I slide back is in these stages -

1. Lonely moment and some thoughts of previous euphoric chat moments inside mind.
2. Followed by some resistance to give in and touching myself but avoiding internet sites for a while
3. Finally unable to hold urges and casually logging on to chat websites to get some peeks .
4. once I get on chat sites the dopamine production is accelerated already and there is no way back to safety until I MO and relapse .

This is my relapse pattern every single time .

so I know when and where I need to stop myself and when it would get impossible .

on to day 4 tomorrow

 

[Escapeandnevercomeback]

Yes, the relapse starts with something and then slowly but surely (or all of a sudden) moves to the maximum. The key is to stop it as early as possible, by trying to avoid to engage with that thing that starts everything, avoiding to pay attention to it, ignoring it, focusing on something else, doing something, thinking about something else, whatever works.

Your relapse pattern resonates with me. I don't have a chatroom problem but my porn routine presents similarities: Thoughts of previous euphoric porn sessions or porn flashbacks and fantasies randomly popping up in my head, giving them attention (this starts the dopamine, here is the best moment to disengage from it, ideally in the first seconds), trying to resist the urges created by thinking and playing porn in my head too much, and finally "a little bit won't hurt", I peak a little bit, I edge a little bit and it's already too late. I mean, it's never too late to stop there, but it's a lot harder than not getting to that point in the first place. What you need to do is train yourself to avoid engaging as soon as possible, way back where it starts, in the first seconds. You have to find a response, a habit to do as soon as the thoughts start. You got this, man! I'm sure you'll figure it out.

 

[Restless Mystic]

Day 5 today .

Had real sex with my partner after very long and it was good . giving the real person the real love which they deserve much more than any 2D screens/cam girls/chat rooms/P thoughts fills you with confidence and self respect instead of creating a big void of those at the back of your mind .

“This is so true” that PMO creates low self confidence, high amounts of self doubts , self hate and higher level of stresses in your head. Not using PMO immediately starts filling you with confidence, self respect and Low stress levels .
which are vital for an ex-addict to recover and identify himself as a non-user.

MI30S

Not to offend man. Somewhere read, "once addicted, you'll always be an addict". Somewhere along, we ll be having the chances to relapse. So, we've to remember this is not a limited time period battle. This is going to be a long, ultimately a life long battle. The longer we endure, easier the fight becomes.

Unlike other addictions, this content is free, available 100x easier, anytime, anywhere. I'm in my 30s fighting with this for 10 years..... Still fighting.......
Let's hope and understand this is not our way of living.

 

[GeminiMan]

Day 4
Relapse .

it was a lonely afternoon moment -
Same flow occurred today with 4 stages of relapse .

it was so quick stage 1, 2 and 3 were complete in less than 30 seconds and then I behaved like a trapped mouse for the rest of the afternoon chatting filthy and then MOed to chats .

My stages of relapse -
1. Lonely moment and some thoughts of previous euphoric chat moments inside mind.
2. Followed by some resistance to give in and touching myself but avoiding internet sites for a while
3. Finally unable to hold urges and casually logging on to chat websites to get some peeks .
4. once I get on chat sites the dopamine production is accelerated already and there is no way back to safety until I MO and relapse .

Lesson learnt -
I need to stop myself . It’s that simple yet I don’t do it .

Day 1 tomorrow

 

[GeminiMan]

Not to offend man. Somewhere read, "once addicted, you'll always be an addict". Somewhere along, we ll be having the chances to relapse. So, we've to remember this is not a limited time period battle. This is going to be a long, ultimately a life long battle. The longer we endure, easier the fight becomes.

Unlike other addictions, this content is free, available 100x easier, anytime, anywhere. I'm in my 30s fighting with this for 10 years..... Still fighting.......
Let's hope and understand this is not our way of living.

@Restless Mystic I do a knowledge the feelings and doubts I also feel sometimes wondering whether I will be a life long addict and if my life whether my life will only revolve endlessly around relapse/regret cycles untill I finally perish .

I am trying still with a glimmer of hope left in me that there are still about 20-40 years of healthy and able life left for me atleast (assuming I don’t get under a truck or something or some bad illness kills me much accidentally) so why not give it a try and live at-least the left over life sober which has always been my wish of my inner self . Nothing I loose in trying whether I be successful or not is secondary.

 

[Escapeandnevercomeback]

Day 4
Relapse .

it was a lonely afternoon moment -
Same flow occurred today with 4 stages of relapse .

it was so quick stage 1, 2 and 3 were complete in less than 30 seconds and then I behaved like a trapped mouse for the rest of the afternoon chatting filthy and then MOed to chats .

My stages of relapse -
1. Lonely moment and some thoughts of previous euphoric chat moments inside mind.
2. Followed by some resistance to give in and touching myself but avoiding internet sites for a while
3. Finally unable to hold urges and casually logging on to chat websites to get some peeks .
4. once I get on chat sites the dopamine production is accelerated already and there is no way back to safety until I MO and relapse .

Lesson learnt -
I need to stop myself . It’s that simple yet I don’t do it .

Day 1 tomorrow

You can identify the way your relapse happens. This is good, it's the first step. As you already know, the first thing to try is to tackle the beginning of everything, the very first thing that happens and that starts the relapse. I can see you wrote "Lonely moments and some thoughts of previous euphoric chat moments inside my mind." About the lonely moments... I don't know what to say here, I am extremely lonely too but I don't think it's something you can tackle in a minute. However, the second part, the thoughts, can be addressed quicker, this is where you can actually intervene. I can see your relapse pattern starts like mine, with the thoughts. What helped me to achieve 1 month clean was doing something about the thoughts. The best way to deal with this, in my opinion, is to avoid engaging with them and divert your attention to something else. Not fight them, not get angry at them, just ignoring/disengaging from them. The porn thoughts are like some bullies that can't touch you, you are separated from them by some bars. The only thing they can do is make fun of you and call you name and laugh at you. If you show that it bothers you and if you give them attention and try to make them stop, they will only make it worse. Ignore them and they will eventually stop because the way they get their kicks is by you giving them attention I know it's not always easy, it's easier said than done, I have moments when I struggle to make it work right too. I've had some days earlier during this streak, day 11, or around there, comes to my mind, where I barely survived, so I know how difficult it could get, but I've survived thanks to the method of avoiding the thoughts. Even during those hardcore urges, I refused to fantasize porn. Let me ask you something: Have you thought so far about a way to avoid engaging with the thoughts?

By the way, if you think I am bothering you or anything, you can send me a private message anytime and I delete the message, it's no problem, it's really no problem. Peace

 

[GeminiMan]

You can identify the way your relapse happens. This is good, it's the first step. As you already know, the first thing to try is to tackle the beginning of everything, the very first thing that happens and that starts the relapse. I can see you wrote "Lonely moments and some thoughts of previous euphoric chat moments inside my mind." About the lonely moments... I don't know what to say here, I am extremely lonely too but I don't think it's something you can tackle in a minute. However, the second part, the thoughts, can be addressed quicker, this is where you can actually intervene. I can see your relapse pattern starts like mine, with the thoughts. What helped me to achieve 1 month clean was doing something about the thoughts. The best way to deal with this, in my opinion, is to avoid engaging with them and divert your attention to something else. Not fight them, not get angry at them, just ignoring/disengaging from them. The porn thoughts are like some bullies that can't touch you, you are separated from them by some bars. The only thing they can do is make fun of you and call you name and laugh at you. If you show that it bothers you and if you give them attention and try to make them stop, they will only make it worse. Ignore them and they will eventually stop because the way they get their kicks is by you giving them attention I know it's not always easy, it's easier said than done, I have moments when I struggle to make it work right too. I've had some days earlier during this streak, day 11, or around there, comes to my mind, where I barely survived, so I know how difficult it could get, but I've survived thanks to the method of avoiding the thoughts. Even during those hardcore urges, I refused to fantasize porn. Let me ask you something: Have you thought so far about a way to avoid engaging with the thoughts?

By the way, if you think I am bothering you or anything, you can send me a private message anytime and I delete the message, it's no problem, it's really no problem. Peace

@Escapeandnevercomeback
I see what you are saying here about disengagement from thoughts , I have not been able to do that honestly as those thoughts are compulsive in nature for me . Meaning I don’t succeed in avoiding them or ignoring them and I get sucked right into them .

it should be achievable with some practice and perseverance. I know it is actually required for any one trying to quit to be successful.

Do you suggest any resources to learn more about disengaging with compulsive thought flows ? The ones that are an addicts nightmare!

Please send if you have anything
MI30S

 

[logicprox]

@Escapeandnevercomeback
I see what you are saying here about disengagement from thoughts , I have not been able to do that honestly as those thoughts are compulsive in nature for me . Meaning I don’t succeed in avoiding them or ignoring them and I get sucked right into them .

it should be achievable with some practice and perseverance. I know it is actually required for any one trying to quit to be successful.

Do you suggest any resources to learn more about disengaging with compulsive thought flows ? The ones that are an addicts nightmare!

Please send if you have anything
MI30S

Have you tried mindfulness training, like through headspace app? A big part of mindfulness is learning to just observe what is happening in your mind rather than engaging. I've only dabbled but it may help (with time and practice).

I am not a therapist/psychologist/doctor, but ACT seems to help some people. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapy-types/acceptance-and-commitment-therapy

The book The Happiness Trap teaches you some at home ACT. I haven't finished but I think there are somme useful concepts and exercises in it.