quitforeverthenwin2 said:I totally support your thoughts on MO. For you it's not a huge issue, but being careful about it so it doesn't become one. Sounds good to me.
Glad to hear you had a good day! Support is great for sure, it really can make all the difference. It gives these constant little boosts and increased awareness that adds up to being just incredibly helpful.
k-fff said:Peeked. I gotta consider this a relapse because that was one of my conditions. A bit embarrassed now, the urges are really strong now. I need to replace them with my other habits. I think my trigger was having trouble with this girl that seems the most logical and maybe a little boredom. I am happy I only peeked for a second but the decision itself to search and to look is the real problem that is why I consider it a relapse. When I opened it and I looked at the vid for a few seconds, i was like what am I doing, now I need to restart my counter. I literally just had sex yesterday too. Maybe, there is somewhat of a chaser effect going. I feel stupid right now. This thing is something I don't want to do, but I just gave myself more time to recover from it.
wecandoit said:k-fff said:Peeked. I gotta consider this a relapse because that was one of my conditions. A bit embarrassed now, the urges are really strong now. I need to replace them with my other habits. I think my trigger was having trouble with this girl that seems the most logical and maybe a little boredom. I am happy I only peeked for a second but the decision itself to search and to look is the real problem that is why I consider it a relapse. When I opened it and I looked at the vid for a few seconds, i was like what am I doing, now I need to restart my counter. I literally just had sex yesterday too. Maybe, there is somewhat of a chaser effect going. I feel stupid right now. This thing is something I don't want to do, but I just gave myself more time to recover from it.
I wouldn't reset my counter if I was you. You peeked just for seconds, it's not the end of the world. Try to avoid this the next time. You know, I realized that counting days and thinking about what's relapse and what isn't was fucking with my mind. So I stripped it down to the basics: Trying to survive each day without edging, peeking and PMO and if I make a mistake, trying to inflict as little damage as possible to myself: Peeking is not edging, edging for 5 minutes is not edging for 1 hour, edging for 1 hour is not edging for hours, 1 PMO is not a PMO binge etc. You know what I'm saying? I try to control it somehow: "Okay, I watched something for 5 minutes but I caught myself, walk away cause it's only 5 minutes, not 1 hour, don't make it 1 hour." Resetting my counter was depressing. "I've made it to X number of days now I have to start from 0. FUCK!" This didn't feel too good. And counting days was a problem too because I kept thinking how many days I lost, how many days I needed to start feeling better etc. Then I tried to make it to the end of the day without making mistakes. It's been working. Urges are strong for me too right now but it's understandable because this is withdrawal and I am an addict, I can't expect to quit this without pain.
quitforeverthenwin2 said:I actually strongly support your decision to reset the counter. You broke your rule so yeah reset it. Literally every time I have seen people (myself included) try and dance around a relapse and pretend it didn't happen it leads to more relapses and binges. Holding oneself super accountable works.
For me I do better not having a counter. That can work. But if you want a counter just be accountable. Both work having a counter and not having a counter work. But having a counter and basically having it be a lie (changing what the counter is counting AFFTERnThe fact) does not work.
Nothing to embarrassed of! Relapses happen! Just get back on the horse.
k-fff said:And just completely relapsed. I think maybe the trigger was after working out and drinking a lot of protein I started feeling really good then urges came. Also, the peeking from yesterday probably caused somewhat of a chaser affect combined with the sex i had before. That is why I have a rule no peeking because I get overwhelming urges if I do. Frustrating to say the least. I wanted to go the whole month. I will try to get 16 days so till the end of this month.
quitforeverthenwin2 said:k-fff said:And just completely relapsed. I think maybe the trigger was after working out and drinking a lot of protein I started feeling really good then urges came. Also, the peeking from yesterday probably caused somewhat of a chaser affect combined with the sex i had before. That is why I have a rule no peeking because I get overwhelming urges if I do. Frustrating to say the least. I wanted to go the whole month. I will try to get 16 days so till the end of this month.
Feeling too good/high can be a trigger for sure! Both negative and positive feelings can be a trigger even absolutely nothing can be a trigger. We want to do our best to avoid triggers, but urges will pop up sometimes no matter what, it just is what it is.
Good that it was only 10 min, that is a MUCH less bad for your brain then binging too much.
This is progress.... when relapsing doesn't feel so good, THAT is progress.
Just keep it up.
quitforeverthenwin2 said:Woah, good luck in the competition! Do whatever prep you can for the time being. I never cut too much weight, but I certainly do not miss it....