imsorrynotsorry
Active Member
Hey Gigili,
i started to tell her years ago with how it all began: I was young and me and my friends started looking. Somehow it was different for me, because i found myself later in a place where i realised it became self-functioning (an addiction). After that i realised it's an addiction i rebooted with 25 to fall back in occasionally PMO from 26/27 to 34 (weekly or monthly).
For me it was important to not tell her about it with not having successes in hand, so i had already proof for me getting better. That's just my nature. In general there is no rush in telling her at all, because this would put pressure on us we definitely don't need. There will be the right time.
I also think that my GF isn't the person feeling comfortable asking uncomfortable questions about how often i PMO'd or if i PMO'd while she was sleeping or sth else. I have to admit, i would lie about this all the time, because i think it's my responsibility that a) i have an addiction and b) i have the responsibility and the position to think what is best for my relationship.
There is another journal of chris and he is more about being completely open up to his partner. I respect this aswell.
It's just from my experience, trust is something so vulnerable. A years work destroyed in seconds, for what?!? Therefore i'll advice you to think through how and when to open up. It's you who's deciding what you answer and what not and it's her part to learn to trust you on things without knowing it completely, like you don't look in your partners phone when she's showering just to be sure that she's not texting anyone else. This you know or you don't, in the end it's the responsibility of the initiator.
On the other hand, i've read a lot of stories were full opening up helped both, so it depends your situation. If you don't see a way out on your own, opening up will help one way or another. If you're managing good, then confession 'lite' can help not to overheat this topic. Any other perspective on this is welcomed.
Beside all that i'm good. I realised a few days ago that i turned my life around maybe 4 years ago where i implemented running in my life on a regular basis in a new city, new environment. Also showering completely cold for most time of the year, as long as possible in the winter. This overall boosted my confidence in battling the addiction. Maybe that's why i was more able to battle it when i started my reboot this year.
i started to tell her years ago with how it all began: I was young and me and my friends started looking. Somehow it was different for me, because i found myself later in a place where i realised it became self-functioning (an addiction). After that i realised it's an addiction i rebooted with 25 to fall back in occasionally PMO from 26/27 to 34 (weekly or monthly).
For me it was important to not tell her about it with not having successes in hand, so i had already proof for me getting better. That's just my nature. In general there is no rush in telling her at all, because this would put pressure on us we definitely don't need. There will be the right time.
I also think that my GF isn't the person feeling comfortable asking uncomfortable questions about how often i PMO'd or if i PMO'd while she was sleeping or sth else. I have to admit, i would lie about this all the time, because i think it's my responsibility that a) i have an addiction and b) i have the responsibility and the position to think what is best for my relationship.
There is another journal of chris and he is more about being completely open up to his partner. I respect this aswell.
It's just from my experience, trust is something so vulnerable. A years work destroyed in seconds, for what?!? Therefore i'll advice you to think through how and when to open up. It's you who's deciding what you answer and what not and it's her part to learn to trust you on things without knowing it completely, like you don't look in your partners phone when she's showering just to be sure that she's not texting anyone else. This you know or you don't, in the end it's the responsibility of the initiator.
On the other hand, i've read a lot of stories were full opening up helped both, so it depends your situation. If you don't see a way out on your own, opening up will help one way or another. If you're managing good, then confession 'lite' can help not to overheat this topic. Any other perspective on this is welcomed.
Beside all that i'm good. I realised a few days ago that i turned my life around maybe 4 years ago where i implemented running in my life on a regular basis in a new city, new environment. Also showering completely cold for most time of the year, as long as possible in the winter. This overall boosted my confidence in battling the addiction. Maybe that's why i was more able to battle it when i started my reboot this year.