AStansfield's Reboot Journal

[AStansfield]

Completed: Day 29 No PMO / Day 9 No Fap


Had my exam today. Results are out tomorrow and they can go either way. Smoked cigarettes again for the first time in a long time to cope with the stress/anxiety. On the way home though I tossed the carton. I'm committed to a long term healthy and natural lifestyle and I don't need that shit.

Hopefully for the next exam i'll be more prepared and less prone to the temptation.

Went out with 2 female friends of mine. It was quite fun, but it also makes me realize I have a lot of personal work ahead before I can enter the dating scene - I just don't have the self confidence in myself yet, probably due to being so out of shape. (108kg atm, started at 115 at the end of May). Goal weight is 84.3kg by January 1st.

Well, that's all for this report - see you space cowboys!

 

[AStansfield]

Completed: Day 30 No PMO / Day 10 No Fap

1 MONTH WITHOUT PORN! 1/3rd of the way there, 60 more days to go.

Day 10 No Fap too - the first real "urges" started today. I passed my exam though, and I was in extremely high spirits so they didn't bother me too much.

I had some temptation to go out and buy some smokes but I resisted. Should go away completely in the coming days, if not tomorrow. Right now I want to get to Day 30 No Fap and do a real "1 month reflection", possibly in video format.

Well, that's all for this report - see you space cowboys!

 

[AStansfield]

Completed: Day 31 No PMO / Day 11 No Fap


Very good day. Still riding high off the fumes of success. Not much to report really. Urges have been minimal. Last night I had a dream about my ex and those usually sour my mood the entire day but it had no effect.

Can't wait for day 30!

Well, that's all for this report - see you space cowboys!

 

[Sanders]

Hey,

Congratulations on the 30 days, great achievement Nice that there's such a difference in your mood after those dreams, must be quite a relieve. Good luck on reaching 30 days of no fap!

 

[AStansfield]

Completed: Day 32 No PMO / Day 12 No Fap


Minimal to no urges today. Didn't get much work done but my morning run was excellent. Tomorrow i'm weighing in and no doubt i'll see the meter go down from last week.

I do estimate however that once I reach day 20/21 of NoFap the urges will start to come back in full swing. Right now i'm in a "Lite" Flatline where my libido is just gone, but not in a troubling way compared to some of what I read.

Also @Sanders, thank you for the congratz and thank you for the luck. I'll be sure to carry that luck to the finish line and beyond!

Well, that's all for this report - see you space cowboys!

 

[AStansfield]

Completed: Day 33 No PMO / Day 13 No Fap


Uneventful day. It was a rest day from working out which personally are the most boring days because it doesn't feel like i'm making my fitness goals progress any further.

Urges/Fantasies again minimal. Libido in general is very low. Perhaps my relapse 13 days ago didn't impact me as deeply as I assumed. Won't know until I get around week 3.


Well, that's all for this report - see you space cowboys!


Edit: Morning of Day 34
Second night in a row i've had a wet dream but with no emission. I didn't actually ejaculate in this dream -don't remember the night before. I think my mind is getting to that point where it is desperate for a release. I shall remain vigilant however!

 

[AStansfield]

Completed: Day 34 No PMO / Day 14 No Fap


Finally on the 2nd page of my journal + 2 weeks since last relapse! Porn hasn't been on my mind at all - although sexually suggestive scenes on netflix make me feel sort of uncomfortable. Feels weird having to cover my eyes like a kid again ;D

My libido is absolutely zero though. Like I am filled with almost 0 if not 0 sexual energy at the moment. Even at the gym surrounded by tight yoga pants my thoughts never wander - I only ever focus on my lifts. I guess this is a good thing, but it just feels weird. It's like a permanent turbolimp. It's like a Whiskey Dick feeling but all the time. It's not bad or good, just an unusual feeling.

I hope it settles itself before mid-September when the new Semester begins.

Well, that's all for this report - see you space cowboys!

 

[AStansfield]

Completed: Day 35 No PMO / Day 15 No Fap


Libido is still zero. Resumed dong kegel exercises. Nothing much else to report. Tomorrow i'm hitting 100kg 5x5 for my squat and i'm excited!

Well, that's all for this report - see you space cowboys!

Edit: Morning of Day 36
Had another wet dream - very very intense one. Didn't make too much of a mess however.

I'm worried because I had a wet dream not too long before my last relapse - so hopefully this isn't a sign of powerful urges returning.

 

[AStansfield]

Completed: Day 36 No PMO / Day 16 No Fap


Hit 100kg 5x5 on Squat in the gym! I started going to the gym on the 29th of June and have worked my way up from 60kg 5x5. I'd like to attribute some of that success to the supposed testosterone increase from nofap. The weight feels lighter than it ever has before!

I tend to write these the morning after (so the Morning of Day 37) - had a strange dream where I was in Vienna attempting to buy a prostitute. It was very strange because there was nothing sexual going on, but I kept thinking "I'm going to break my PMO Streak damn it." The morning W was a welcome change of pace in this flatline though.

I'd like to think all these dreams are just a signal that the reboot is proceeding as it should.

Well, that's all for this report - see you space cowboys!

 

[AStansfield]

Completed: Day 37 No PMO / Day 17 No Fap

Slowly creeping up on my record for no fap (I relapsed on Day 18). The course so far has been entirely different - very little fantasies and zero libido. I assume this is because my last relapse (which had no porn involved) didn't set back my reboot as much I originally anticipated.

Not much else to report. Studying for my last exam. Working out 6 days a week like clockwork (3 Days of Lifting, 3 Days of Solid cardio). Right now i'm absolutely alone in my Uni city and it will be like that for the next 6-8 weeks. Hopefully I don't lose my mind too much.

It will be nice to come back at the beginning of the semester completely transformed and really wow all my friends and colleagues (especially all the haters  8)).

Well, that's all for this report - see you space cowboys!

Edit: Morning of Day 38
Last night I started supplementing an additional 150mg of Magnesium and 10mg of Zinc right before bed. So far in total I supplement 25.5mg of Zinc throughout the day 385mg of Magnesium.

I mention this because I had the most intense and vivid wet dream last night. It was incredibly strange because it involved someone from my university i've had very little interaction with but we were both at my high school? Also I had Harry Potter magic and used it to summon a car.

?\_(?)_/?
Personally I don't mind the wet dreams. I think my mind has reached peak starvation but it will kick itself out soon enough. 24 hours from now I will have beaten my record for nofap!

 

[AStansfield]

Completed: Day 38 No PMO / Day 18 No Fap

Reached my old nofap record safe and sound!

102kg 5x5 Squat in the gym was also good. I think i'll plateau somewhere between 110kg and 120kg at this current pace, sometime in August.

Libido is still low. That hasn't changed much. Since my last relapse i've barely even touched my member outside of restroom time.

Overall looking forward for the Day 30 milestone!

Well, that's all for this report - see you space cowboys!

 

[AStansfield]

Completed: Day 39 No PMO / Day 19 No Fap

Nothing to report. Nothing different from the last few days.


Well, that's all for this "report" - see you space cowboys!

 

[AStansfield]

Completed: Day 40 No PMO / Day 20 No Fap


Started to get some racy thoughts today, but nothing major. Hopefully it doesn't get any worse than this.

I don't like Sundays very much because rest days just feel like i'm doing nothing. Tomorrow I'll be hitting the squat rack and making some GAINZ!

Well, that's all for this report - see you space cowboys!

 

[AStansfield]

Completed: Day 41 No PMO / Day 21 No Fap


104kg 5x5 Squat today. Starting to get difficult - still think i'll stall between 110kg and 120kg though.

Today is the last day of my 28 Creatine Cycle. Next 28 days i'm off - will have to see how it impacts my lifts.

I have an odd smell down there (even post shower/hygiene). I noticed it before the last time I went around 2 1/2 - 3 weeks without fapping. Last time when I relapsed I realized it was the actual ejaculate smelling awfully odd, and it was seemingly exiting straight out of my member. Quite strange.

Strange thing to note, but whatever.

Well, that's all for this report - see you space cowboys!

 

[Chris Oz]

Keep moving forward Stanfield. I read most of your jounal and it's quite interesting how far you've come. Your resolutions are tight.

 

[AStansfield]

Completed: Day 42 No PMO / Day 22 No Fap


Passed my last exam today! 7 weeks of Summer Break here I come  8)

Going out to celebrate tomorrow - haven't let loose in a few weeks and I can't wait.

My run today was more difficult than usual - consistent 25 minute runs at my weight/body fat takes a lot out of me, but this was something else. I'd attribute it to a rather unhealthy meal the day before - gotta get good calories in! Good input = Good Output!

I took a nap today and while I was laying down my head began to wander towards the sexual fantasy side. The strangest thing though is like I had literally 0 thought about fapping. It's like even with the sexual fantasy my libido is still nonexistent.

I'm hoping my PIED symptoms will be resolved by day 180 of nofap. It's probably 90% of the reason i've stayed committed to this journey.

@Chiz Oz Thank you! I hope your journey is progressing as well - together to the top to enjoy in the bounties of our endeavours!

Well, that's all for this report - see you space cowboys!

 

[Chris Oz]

Congrats on your last exam Stansfield

 

[AStansfield]

Completed: Day 43 No PMO / Day 23 No Fap


Writing this one a bit earlier in the day since i'm going out in the evening and will probably a bit too out of it to remember to write!

First off, @Chris Oz Thank you for your congrats!

106kg 5x5 Squat successful! It wasn't bad at all - basically identical to 104 in terms of exertion. I ate very clean yesterday and today - probably a contributing factor over last time.

I had a really random erection that lasted about 5 minutes during the day while I was watching a film (it was K19: The Widowmaker, so literally no sexual content whatsoever). I was focusing purely on the film as well.

Does anyone have experience with random erections while rebooting?

Well, that's all for this report - see you space cowboys!

 

[Chris Oz]

Yeah it happens a lot to me.... For no reason at all. It's just part of being a man I guess. It doesn't stay for like forever... Somos alright. I think it just shows that your hormones are still working right and sexually your healthy. Nothing to worry about.

 

[AStansfield]

Completed: Day 44 No PMO / Day 24 No Fap


Less than a week to go before the 30 Day mark! It's quite exciting to be hitting the first real "checkpoint" in this journey - time really flew.

Outside my run today, which was very very good, I didn't get anything productive done. Honestly I'm probably going to need to start studying for the new semester soon (7 weeks in advance).

I'm just at that point in my life where i'm questioning what I do with my time. I have a lot of expectations of myself and I don't want to get stuck in a long term bad mood because I'm not making big gains.

I'm still haunted a bit by events that happened last summer, and for the first time since then it feels like i'm standing on my own two feet. I'm so terrified of falling back down again that any time I try to relax I feel like my mind is idle and I should be doing something productive.

Anyway, enough complaining.

Well, that's all for this report - see you space cowboys!