Hopefully it is not too late to get on the birthday bandwagon so I can wish you a Happy Birthday Phineas!
I hope it was a day filled throughout with the true richness of connection, laughter, life & being! You've earned it.
How Shall We Escape?
- Thread starter Phineas 808
- Start date
Hopefully it is not too late to get on the birthday bandwagon so I can wish you a Happy Birthday Phineas!
I hope it was a day filled throughout with the true richness of connection, laughter, life & being! You've earned it.
Squidward81
Member
Happy birthday.
So encouraging to read your story and your plan for going forward
Thank you for also taking the time to respond to my journey.
Be blessed!
Not too late, Orbiter! Thank you for the well wishes...!
Thank you, Squidward!
We have to do this together, help each other!
Blessings to you, too!
guitar1968
Well-Known Member
You are an inspiration here on Reboot Nation Phineas! Not just because of your success, but because of your thoughts, your actions and yes even your occasional slips. You consistently show people that you can keep moving forward. You encourage everyone you come in contact with and that is so helpful.
Recovering from any addiction is never a straight line. There are curves, ups and downs and many obstacles along the way. You have been great in helping us all understand that we can get through them and keep moving on.
Thanks!
Recovering from any addiction is never a straight line. There are curves, ups and downs and many obstacles along the way. You have been great in helping us all understand that we can get through them and keep moving on.
Thanks!
Escapeandnevercomeback
Respected Member
Absolutely. Phineas has been great help for me so far.
Escapeandnevercomeback
Respected Member
Yo, man, happy birthday! 105 days without porn is a number! Very inspiring. I will be 31 at the end of November, maybe I could get at least 2 months by then.
Thank you, Guitar and Escape!
That’s a worthy goal, Escape!
Porn Free Summer!
Summer = 6/20/21 - 9/22/21, or 93 days
This statement was at the end of my previous 90 day challenge, and this is exactly what we had, a porn-free summer, overlapping challenges notwithstanding!
We are now currently at 114 days without P, PMO, or MO (-1).
I'm coming out of a period where p-subs and edging were a struggle, from before 8/8/21 and on through September. There was even an external link from Youtube which led to p-sites! I didn't linger, obsess or explore. It wasn't anything I searched for, so no reset.
Was I trying to self-sabotage? It was almost like I was preparing to PMO, or to set up the stage for a fall. Even yesterday I had opportunity to P, PMO, but I didn't want to! I was too busy building the life I want, not the one I'm trying to get away from.
Even last night, I had edged, and my mind was telling me in my half-sleep that the 'next step' was to PMO. When I got up for the restroom, though, I left my phone behind instead.
This is all the 'training' from my abstinence challenge put to the test. My goal is to simply live life free from the unwanted habits. My 'orange-line' behaviors are threatening to be habits, and I have to employ all I know to prevent this from happening. And I find this easier when I relax, and let these things wash over me without judgement, and not obsess on them.
I feel I am coming out of this strange time, and that I'm continuing to build on my previous abstinence challenge. In fact, my ability to not take this too far is a testament to the habit change from that time. Some of my self-talk is,
"This doesn't have to end with P, PMO, I can find my resilience and back away without having to completely lapse first!"
I have to simply keep in practice what I know to do, what I advise everyone else to do, lol...! But I do feel that I'm no longer obsessing, and that I have to disrupt repetitiveness, which is the life-blood of habit.
Be well, All!
Summer = 6/20/21 - 9/22/21, or 93 days
This statement was at the end of my previous 90 day challenge, and this is exactly what we had, a porn-free summer, overlapping challenges notwithstanding!
We are now currently at 114 days without P, PMO, or MO (-1).
I'm coming out of a period where p-subs and edging were a struggle, from before 8/8/21 and on through September. There was even an external link from Youtube which led to p-sites! I didn't linger, obsess or explore. It wasn't anything I searched for, so no reset.
Was I trying to self-sabotage? It was almost like I was preparing to PMO, or to set up the stage for a fall. Even yesterday I had opportunity to P, PMO, but I didn't want to! I was too busy building the life I want, not the one I'm trying to get away from.
Even last night, I had edged, and my mind was telling me in my half-sleep that the 'next step' was to PMO. When I got up for the restroom, though, I left my phone behind instead.
This is all the 'training' from my abstinence challenge put to the test. My goal is to simply live life free from the unwanted habits. My 'orange-line' behaviors are threatening to be habits, and I have to employ all I know to prevent this from happening. And I find this easier when I relax, and let these things wash over me without judgement, and not obsess on them.
I feel I am coming out of this strange time, and that I'm continuing to build on my previous abstinence challenge. In fact, my ability to not take this too far is a testament to the habit change from that time. Some of my self-talk is,
"This doesn't have to end with P, PMO, I can find my resilience and back away without having to completely lapse first!"
I have to simply keep in practice what I know to do, what I advise everyone else to do, lol...! But I do feel that I'm no longer obsessing, and that I have to disrupt repetitiveness, which is the life-blood of habit.
Be well, All!
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Escapeandnevercomeback
Respected Member
Awesome, man! That's outstanding progress right there!
I appreciate that, brother!
guitar1968
Well-Known Member
Sounds like you are controlling your narrative. That is awesome. I'm also finding it easier to walk away. I can view a hot girl or even nude girl on a Netflix show and not feel like I have to go take care of myself. I just watch, enjoy the view a bit, and off to the next scene. There will always be hot women, nudity, sex scenes in your basic Netflix show and movies. I want to keep watching those shows. Many of them are exceptional. They no longer trigger me and that is a very good thing.
It's nice to have a porn free summer, isn't it?
It's nice to have a porn free summer, isn't it?
Yes... it... is...!
You're absolutely right, Guitar! There will always be hot women, on Netfilx, on Instagram, in public, and there will be the occasional sex-scene not sought after, but enjoyed for what it is... What I like to say, 'No harm no foul'.
I'm 'cleaning up' my Instagram (nothing racey) to signal that I'm serious about ceasing the p-subs and/or edging that may or may not be related. In that process, I'm not doing a 'scorched earth' policy, or being overly restrictive. Because I know how I work, that if I feel deprivation from something that could be in itself innocent, it would have the opposite effect, and turn things into an obsession.
I do far better when I have that tension between restriction and allowance. Back in the day I was overly restrictive, and that only prolonged my addictions.
Escapeandnevercomeback
Respected Member
Great, man!
Day: 120!
Today is 120 days without P, PMO, or MO (-1)!
This number is significant for me for its spiritual meaning (Gen 6:3; Acts 1:15; 2:1-4). When I originally joined Reboot Nation (from 2014 to 2016) I called my journal "The End of All Flesh" (deleted) pointing to the significance of that number. I planned to be 120 days abstinent then, and accomplished it, but with struggles. I began this journal last November of 2020 with the same goal, which I accomplished in a stronger way.
This 120+ days are part of an ongoing streak having completed a 90 day abstinence challenge. However, this time hasn't been without struggles:
1. I lapsed to MO on 8/8/21. I didn't reset because in the bigger picture, I wanted to go for the win, and so added +1 day to my abstinence challenge. It has now been 54 days since MO occurred (or within the last 120 days I've only MO'd 1x), and it is not a habbit.
2. I had clicked onto a link found on Youtube during an episode of p-subs (on 9/20/21), and was exposed to P, and saw nudity but briefly. I didn't linger, I didn't obsess, keep watching, or return to it. I didn't reset at that time either, because I didn't purposely seek it out, though it was linked to my p-subs struggle.
The above two episodes were fueled by p-subs and edging which since early August, and increased during September, started becoming unwanted habits. I know what constitutes a reset for me, and I just haven't crossed that line. Needless to say, I had to shut this down, as a laspe or relapse into P, PMO or MO was imminent.
I purposely purged, and am in that act of purging my social media accounts. That has been a danger point for me throughout my current journey, but I need these platforms to either minister or to build my business. This focus has been successful, as I've moved away from p-subs and edging as habits. This purging has not been overly restrictive, but it had to be deep enough to be meaningful. It involves unfollows, deletion of pics (nothing racey), or whatever could lead me to either lapse or set myself up for failure. This is in addressing an anxiety driven (?) dependence on female beauty.
I'm feeling good, and continuing on my above streak. None of those things meant a reset for me, although admittedly not 'picture perfect'. Perfectionism can work against us, though I certainly prefer perfection...
Nonetheless, I'm not doing too bad, and continue abstaining and living life free from P, PMO, and MO.
Today is 120 days without P, PMO, or MO (-1)!
This number is significant for me for its spiritual meaning (Gen 6:3; Acts 1:15; 2:1-4). When I originally joined Reboot Nation (from 2014 to 2016) I called my journal "The End of All Flesh" (deleted) pointing to the significance of that number. I planned to be 120 days abstinent then, and accomplished it, but with struggles. I began this journal last November of 2020 with the same goal, which I accomplished in a stronger way.
This 120+ days are part of an ongoing streak having completed a 90 day abstinence challenge. However, this time hasn't been without struggles:
1. I lapsed to MO on 8/8/21. I didn't reset because in the bigger picture, I wanted to go for the win, and so added +1 day to my abstinence challenge. It has now been 54 days since MO occurred (or within the last 120 days I've only MO'd 1x), and it is not a habbit.
2. I had clicked onto a link found on Youtube during an episode of p-subs (on 9/20/21), and was exposed to P, and saw nudity but briefly. I didn't linger, I didn't obsess, keep watching, or return to it. I didn't reset at that time either, because I didn't purposely seek it out, though it was linked to my p-subs struggle.
The above two episodes were fueled by p-subs and edging which since early August, and increased during September, started becoming unwanted habits. I know what constitutes a reset for me, and I just haven't crossed that line. Needless to say, I had to shut this down, as a laspe or relapse into P, PMO or MO was imminent.
I purposely purged, and am in that act of purging my social media accounts. That has been a danger point for me throughout my current journey, but I need these platforms to either minister or to build my business. This focus has been successful, as I've moved away from p-subs and edging as habits. This purging has not been overly restrictive, but it had to be deep enough to be meaningful. It involves unfollows, deletion of pics (nothing racey), or whatever could lead me to either lapse or set myself up for failure. This is in addressing an anxiety driven (?) dependence on female beauty.
I'm feeling good, and continuing on my above streak. None of those things meant a reset for me, although admittedly not 'picture perfect'. Perfectionism can work against us, though I certainly prefer perfection...
Nonetheless, I'm not doing too bad, and continue abstaining and living life free from P, PMO, and MO.
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Thank you, Jerry! Be blessed.
Part of me can't believe that I'm still counting from June 3, 2021! This was my 4x attempt at hitting my 90 day abstinence challenge. Today is day 122!
What did I mean preiously when I said I'm no longer counting days? I suppose in a direct way of working up to a specific number of days, according to whatever abstinence challenge I'm currently doing. Besides that, I'm just marking in passing the amount of days as it represents a distance in time from X = lapse to Y = current abstinence. It further encourages me to keep going, especially if a lapse is possible.
Yesterday was certainly one of those possible days...
Prior to yesterday, I had been getting away from p-subs and edging, and had 5 straight days where that wasn't an issue. But I had seen a post on IG that was provocative to me, and I wanted to revisit it... I was home alone while both mother and daughter were out. To be honest, I wanted to PMO, and the previous habits of p-subs and edging fed into this.
I deleted two more follows from IG to get ahead of that, but still saw p-subs briefly... I wanted to full on PMO, or view P, but I prayed it through, tried to focus on something else, was tempted again, or had repeated urges. I seemed to come up to the threshold, but just didn't want to cross that red-line! Evidence that these reboots are effective! My efforts are paying off.
Ironically, I wanted to make a video-teaching for Youtube. I've been needing to make this video for months now, and I finally had the opportunity. Thankfully, that's what I chose to do instead of indulge, instead of lapsing.
I know myself, and could very well fall tomorrow, but for now I'm continuing to abstain. And that's a win.
Life after abstinence challenges:
This is all part of the question: How do I live my life free from P, PMO, and MO when there's no mini-goals? Of course there's the overall goal of living life free from unwanted behaviors. But we need to know how to do the right thing first and foremost for ourselves, and without any 'likes', without accolades, without any pat on the back. We need to abstain because the opposite (indulgence) is or ought to be unthinkable.
For me, I can still imagine using. I cannot say that this thing is over and gone, though I want it to be.... Right?? I want to find what would be the 'final nail in the coffin' for this thing, but first- it can't be secretly kept alive in the ICU on the drip-feeds of p-subs and edging.
I'm doing better on those fronts also. I'm not going to do separate counters for those behaviors. I know whether they're habits or not for me, and I know what they would eventually lead to if allowed.
The abstinence challenges are training for actual life lived without P, PMO, or MO. In the nitty gritty of real life, without closely counting days, without even RN, is where this thing is lived out. This is where the rubber meets the road as to the seriousness or not of our stated intent to change our life.
I do not use pornography.
I do not masturbate.
I do not lust after women.
I do not need the affirmation of women.
I am a man in control of himself.
What did I mean preiously when I said I'm no longer counting days? I suppose in a direct way of working up to a specific number of days, according to whatever abstinence challenge I'm currently doing. Besides that, I'm just marking in passing the amount of days as it represents a distance in time from X = lapse to Y = current abstinence. It further encourages me to keep going, especially if a lapse is possible.
Yesterday was certainly one of those possible days...
Prior to yesterday, I had been getting away from p-subs and edging, and had 5 straight days where that wasn't an issue. But I had seen a post on IG that was provocative to me, and I wanted to revisit it... I was home alone while both mother and daughter were out. To be honest, I wanted to PMO, and the previous habits of p-subs and edging fed into this.
I deleted two more follows from IG to get ahead of that, but still saw p-subs briefly... I wanted to full on PMO, or view P, but I prayed it through, tried to focus on something else, was tempted again, or had repeated urges. I seemed to come up to the threshold, but just didn't want to cross that red-line! Evidence that these reboots are effective! My efforts are paying off.
Ironically, I wanted to make a video-teaching for Youtube. I've been needing to make this video for months now, and I finally had the opportunity. Thankfully, that's what I chose to do instead of indulge, instead of lapsing.
I know myself, and could very well fall tomorrow, but for now I'm continuing to abstain. And that's a win.
Life after abstinence challenges:
This is all part of the question: How do I live my life free from P, PMO, and MO when there's no mini-goals? Of course there's the overall goal of living life free from unwanted behaviors. But we need to know how to do the right thing first and foremost for ourselves, and without any 'likes', without accolades, without any pat on the back. We need to abstain because the opposite (indulgence) is or ought to be unthinkable.
For me, I can still imagine using. I cannot say that this thing is over and gone, though I want it to be.... Right?? I want to find what would be the 'final nail in the coffin' for this thing, but first- it can't be secretly kept alive in the ICU on the drip-feeds of p-subs and edging.
I'm doing better on those fronts also. I'm not going to do separate counters for those behaviors. I know whether they're habits or not for me, and I know what they would eventually lead to if allowed.
The abstinence challenges are training for actual life lived without P, PMO, or MO. In the nitty gritty of real life, without closely counting days, without even RN, is where this thing is lived out. This is where the rubber meets the road as to the seriousness or not of our stated intent to change our life.
I do not use pornography.
I do not masturbate.
I do not lust after women.
I do not need the affirmation of women.
I am a man in control of himself.
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Escapeandnevercomeback
Respected Member
Great, bro! I'm happy for you! 4 months! I remember when you came here and you had messed around with porn and stuff now you're an inspiration. You've beat that streak.