Reclaiming the present
- Thread starter Dannybou
- Start date
[day 55]
It's more than double the length of my previous longest streak. That's crazy. Im currently sort of hooking up with someone whenever we're both free, and she's nice, so that's good. I'm not exactly confident enough in my ability to perform right now so I take 5mg of cialis before meeting her which helps. Not sure if that's a good idea or not.
I do think I'll be going through a few more cycles of flatline/ feeling fine before I finally get better. I'm not sure how long that will take. I hope I'm done with this bullshit soon, though I understand undoing some 15+ years of regular porn consumption will take its time.
Mentally, I geniunely feel like I'm done with porn. It's caused so much distress in my life, and the pleasure isn't even particularly good. I just need to stay focused during the times when it tries to sneak up on me and I think that just one peek wouldn't hurt. That's the hardest part to get past.
I do think the NAC has helped my brain feel less "addicted" though that could just be a placebo effect.
Onwards and upwards.
It's more than double the length of my previous longest streak. That's crazy. Im currently sort of hooking up with someone whenever we're both free, and she's nice, so that's good. I'm not exactly confident enough in my ability to perform right now so I take 5mg of cialis before meeting her which helps. Not sure if that's a good idea or not.
I do think I'll be going through a few more cycles of flatline/ feeling fine before I finally get better. I'm not sure how long that will take. I hope I'm done with this bullshit soon, though I understand undoing some 15+ years of regular porn consumption will take its time.
Mentally, I geniunely feel like I'm done with porn. It's caused so much distress in my life, and the pleasure isn't even particularly good. I just need to stay focused during the times when it tries to sneak up on me and I think that just one peek wouldn't hurt. That's the hardest part to get past.
I do think the NAC has helped my brain feel less "addicted" though that could just be a placebo effect.
Onwards and upwards.
Day 70
I've realised that I need to make more broader sweeping changes in my life. I've just finished listening to a book called dopamine nation that talks about the lives of various addicts and how dopamine works. I've realised that I've spent most of my life in patterns of overconsumption of junk food, tv shows, the internet, and porn of course.
So starting from today I'm going on what they recommend, a "dopamine fast" for 30 days where I'm eliminating reddit, youtube and the other websites I waste time on, streaming shows, junk food and porn. After the 30 days I'll see if I can use the internet and TV in moderation.
I just need to focus on things one day at a time.
I've realised that I need to make more broader sweeping changes in my life. I've just finished listening to a book called dopamine nation that talks about the lives of various addicts and how dopamine works. I've realised that I've spent most of my life in patterns of overconsumption of junk food, tv shows, the internet, and porn of course.
So starting from today I'm going on what they recommend, a "dopamine fast" for 30 days where I'm eliminating reddit, youtube and the other websites I waste time on, streaming shows, junk food and porn. After the 30 days I'll see if I can use the internet and TV in moderation.
I just need to focus on things one day at a time.
[day 75]
I'm halfway through my day of staying away from cigarettes, youtube, reddit, instagram, chess.com, streaming websites, and all the other mindless garbage I usually consume.
It's tough. What's good is that I'm more productive today, but it's psychologically stressful. Also I think I'm going through another flatline.
Anyway, I'm taking the NAC and hopefully that helps in reducing the strength of the cravings. It only works if you abstain though.
Another helpful thing is that I told this girl I'm casually seeing about my addictive tendencies and I basically have to tell her if I fuck up on the smoking. Hopefully that helps with sticking to it.
I'm halfway through my day of staying away from cigarettes, youtube, reddit, instagram, chess.com, streaming websites, and all the other mindless garbage I usually consume.
It's tough. What's good is that I'm more productive today, but it's psychologically stressful. Also I think I'm going through another flatline.
Anyway, I'm taking the NAC and hopefully that helps in reducing the strength of the cravings. It only works if you abstain though.
Another helpful thing is that I told this girl I'm casually seeing about my addictive tendencies and I basically have to tell her if I fuck up on the smoking. Hopefully that helps with sticking to it.
Thanks for your encouragement mate!
I unfortunately failed with staying off tv shows. The rationalization I gave myself was that I wanted to know how it ends so let me just binge on this. Bingeing on that lead to me bingeing on junk food. If I kept up the same nonsense I'm sure it would lead to porn and cigarettes as well.
So yeah fuck the show. It's not going anywhere. I'm travelling out of town soon but I'll try my best to eat healthy.
It's day 77, still on a flatline, day 3 away from cigarettes, day 1 of staying away from mindless tv, reddit, youtube and junk food
I unfortunately failed with staying off tv shows. The rationalization I gave myself was that I wanted to know how it ends so let me just binge on this. Bingeing on that lead to me bingeing on junk food. If I kept up the same nonsense I'm sure it would lead to porn and cigarettes as well.
So yeah fuck the show. It's not going anywhere. I'm travelling out of town soon but I'll try my best to eat healthy.
It's day 77, still on a flatline, day 3 away from cigarettes, day 1 of staying away from mindless tv, reddit, youtube and junk food
Day 82
I've travelled out of town to meet my friends. I've been in a few situations where there were women around and I ended up making out with one of them at a party.
It's so annoying that I always have the pied on the back of my mind and can't just relax and enjoy myself in these situations. I was so nervous about what would happen if we had escalated to sex. It's sad.
I've also been smoking a bit on the days where I've been drinking with my friends. Otherwise my general media consumption has been way down.
I just want this bullshit to be done with forever.
I've travelled out of town to meet my friends. I've been in a few situations where there were women around and I ended up making out with one of them at a party.
It's so annoying that I always have the pied on the back of my mind and can't just relax and enjoy myself in these situations. I was so nervous about what would happen if we had escalated to sex. It's sad.
I've also been smoking a bit on the days where I've been drinking with my friends. Otherwise my general media consumption has been way down.
I just want this bullshit to be done with forever.
I'm not sure. From what I've read so far there isn't just one flatline, but multiple flatlines. I'm still not getting consistent morning wood, and I cant get erections solely to touch yet so these are signs that I've not recovered yet.
I'd hooked up with a woman yesterday, and was sensing that it might lead to sex, so I'd taken a cialis beforehand. We didn't end up doing it, but I'd also had a solid erection with the tablet. The problem is that it's so embarrassing to hook up with someone and to be unable to perform. Maybe with a steady partner, I'd be more open to talking about pied and trying to do it without tablets but it's impossible with casual hookups
Day 86. Back home, need to get back on track with quitting smoking and media.
fapstranaut02
Active Member
NICE JOB
Day 97
Made a couple of mistakes over the last week. One was that I masturbated a couple of times, not to porn, but now I'm in a flatline again. I've not been smoking as well which is good. I think I'm basically over porn at this point because the temptation just isn't as strong as it used to be. The only thing is to cut out masturbating for a while and to rewire with a real-life partner.
However, my diet and general internet use have been bad. Still exercising which is keeping me sane.
Made a couple of mistakes over the last week. One was that I masturbated a couple of times, not to porn, but now I'm in a flatline again. I've not been smoking as well which is good. I think I'm basically over porn at this point because the temptation just isn't as strong as it used to be. The only thing is to cut out masturbating for a while and to rewire with a real-life partner.
However, my diet and general internet use have been bad. Still exercising which is keeping me sane.
Day 99
Almost relapsed today. Was randomly browsing the internet and started reading about Bella Delphine and how stupid the obsession over her is for some reason. Then I checked her twitter/ subreddit. Turns out she's doing porn now.
I watched for like 30 seconds, realized what was happening and sprinted into the bathroom and took a cold shower to reorient myself.
Yeesh, that was really close.
Almost relapsed today. Was randomly browsing the internet and started reading about Bella Delphine and how stupid the obsession over her is for some reason. Then I checked her twitter/ subreddit. Turns out she's doing porn now.
I watched for like 30 seconds, realized what was happening and sprinted into the bathroom and took a cold shower to reorient myself.
Yeesh, that was really close.
96LostWanderer
Active Member
Well done on pulling back from the brink.