Road to freedom

[cookiemonster]

Day 3 clean.

Another day to heal. Urges are there but nothing I haven't seen before.

I have been there many times. This is not a straight road to succuess. Most important thing is to not fall into a binge. This is all about your brain recovery. If you stand up again and stay away from the filth you brain will thank you for it. Stay strong brother. You got this

That's what I'm working on. Avoiding a binge and getting straight back on track. I'm not at day 3 really, I'm at day 150 + day 3 with a little fuck up in between. If I binge then I'll really be back at 0. I'd rather not do that.

 

[swimmer97]

That's what I'm working on. Avoiding a binge and getting straight back on track. I'm not at day 3 really, I'm at day 150 + day 3 with a little fuck up in between. If I binge then I'll really be back at 0. I'd rather not do that.

Exactly. The addicted brain is screaming at you right after a relapse. I know this too well. Stay strong, it will be "normal" again soon.

 

[cookiemonster]

Day 4 clean.

My dick still works. I maintained and erection during sex for a very long time. So the erection-side is fine still but I've got severe delayed ejaculation.

I feel really shit going to bed this evening. Some stuff has blindsided me.

I'll survive.

See you tomorrow.

 

[Androg]

PIDE is even more common than PIED. It's a precursor to the latter for some.

Be patient, and it's OK not to force sexual performance/orgasm. Make sure your partner knows too.

 

[Trisquel]

Day 4 clean.

My dick still works. I maintained and erection during sex for a very long time. So the erection-side is fine still but I've got severe delayed ejaculation.

I feel really shit going to bed this evening. Some stuff has blindsided me.

I'll survive.

See you tomorrow.

I've also had delayed eyaculación with my girlfriend for a long time.
We took it easy, I just told her I had delayed ejaculation and that it was not because of her or because I was enjoying myself. I also told her that I was embarrassed about it and she was very understanding. From that moment sex never was about reaching orgasm for me, it was just about interacting with my gf in a sexual way. When you take the pressure to orgasm I think it can make things a lot easier.

What I'm trying to say is that don't worry too much about it. It doesn't has to be a problem, and it'll solve itself as your brain rewires to reality. Take it easy

Also, congrats on your 3 days clean!
It's great you came here to post about your slip and that you are committing to be on track and not to binge. As you say, this is your 150+3 day.

Cheers

 

[Trisquel]

Hey, @cookiemonster , how are you doing?

 

[cookiemonster]

Hey, @cookiemonster , how are you doing?

I was doing pretty well but then relapsed again a couple of days ago.

I will commit again to posting here on the forum everyday. That's what got my last streak off to a good start so I'll use the same technique.

My dick still worked with my girlfriend but already perceptibly a little bit not as well as before.

My head is still in the game, I'm just trying to get take-off again.

 

[cookiemonster]

Day 1 clean.

To be honest it's a little more than just day 1 but I haven't been "squeaky clean" because some fantasizing has been going on in my head. Anything which activates the porn pathways is a porn substitute and because I indulged these thoughts today might as well be day 1.

Here we are again.

The goal today is a porn-free day. No porn, no porn substitutes. My relapses were caused by willingly triggering myself on social media so I have to acknowledge that social media porn substitutes are just as bad as going to pornographic sites. None of that today. I won't masturbate or touch my dick.

See you all tomorrow, thank you for checking up on me and the encouragement after my relapse. I made it to almost 5 months, no reason I can't do that again and go even further.

 

[Androg]

Day 1 clean.

To be honest it's a little more than just day 1 but I haven't been "squeaky clean" because some fantasizing has been going on in my head. Anything which activates the porn pathways is a porn substitute and because I indulged these thoughts today might as well be day 1.

Here we are again.

The goal today is a porn-free day. No porn, no porn substitutes. My relapses were caused by willingly triggering myself on social media so I have to acknowledge that social media porn substitutes are just as bad as going to pornographic sites. None of that today. I won't masturbate or touch my dick.

See you all tomorrow, thank you for checking up on me and the encouragement after my relapse. I made it to almost 5 months, no reason I can't do that again and go even further.

 

[cookiemonster]

Day 2 clean.

Urges are very strong.

But they're just that, urges coming from my addicted brain.

The goal today is a porn-free day, psub-free day and masturbation-free day. My girlfriend is coming over tonight, we can cuddle and be intimate but I'll avoid pursuing orgasm.

See you tomorrow.

 

[Trisquel]

Hey, man, good that you are posting!

Indeed, it is only a matter of getting up against and continuing walking, I think we all have been there.

Good luck, take courage!

 

[cookiemonster]

Day 3 clean.

Hey, man, good that you are posting!

Indeed, it is only a matter of getting up against and continuing walking, I think we all have been there.

Good luck, take courage!

Thanks, just got to keep going.

The goal today is a pornfree and psub-free day. No masturbation is also the goal too.

Today has the makings of a great day, no reasons why it can't be.

See you tomorrow.

 

[cookiemonster]

I relapsed again today.

Not doing very well. Stuck in a relapse cycle every few days. Desperately hoping I can break the cycle and get back on track again.

Can't let this shit drag me back in because that's what I'm letting it do to me right now.

A little ashamed to be here making these posts every few days but I'm really trying to avoid losing the next half-year or year to relapses. I want to get back on track.

I'll come back here tomorrow morning and make a morning commitment. I have to take it day by day again.

A message to you guys, stay vigilant, it's easy to forget how shit it was when you were watching porn. From my position right now I can remind you that it's not worth it and it feels worse than you probably remember it.

I'll get back on track. But you guys make sure you don't go off track in the first place.

 

[Blondie]

Sorry to hear this @cookiemonster. Sometimes it's hard to get out of the rut once you've felling into it again. I know you can pull out though and keep on moving forward. I've seen you do it once, I know you can do it again. This is the shit part of your brain lying to you, wanting you to engage in something that brings nothing. Don't listen to it and seek the light. You've had a few bad days out of many great days, just focus on those good days, and don't get caught up in the few bad ones.

A message to you guys, stay vigilant, it's easy to forget how shit it was when you were watching porn. From my position right now I can remind you that it's not worth it and it feels worse than you probably remember it.

This.

You got this man.

 

[cookiemonster]

Got a day 1 on the board.

Feeling hopeful.

 

[Androg]

Got a day 1 on the board.

Feeling hopeful.

Way to go Cookie!

 

[cookiemonster]

I had a good streak going, I was clean for a few weeks and then relapsed today.

I'm overseas right now and have been propositioned by a few different girls for sex but declined to be faithful to my girlfriend.

Maybe some pent up sexual frustration.

Very busy at the moment.

Got to stay away from porn. If I need to jerk one off that's acceptable but no porn or psubs.

 

[cookiemonster]

Day 1

Been going through ups and downs lately. The last week has been very bad regarding staying away from porn.

Coming back here to get back on track. Humble beginnings again.

All I will do is take it day by day and not worry about the big picture. Today I will have a porn-free day. I won't look at porn, I won't look at any NSFW content on social media, I won't masturbate. I won't touch my dick. I won't fantasize. I won't objectify women I pass by in public.

All I have to focus on is today. One day!

 

[Blondie]

You got this @cookiemonster.

One day at a time.

 

[cookiemonster]

So, for the record, I did follow through on my commitment that day and I was clean. The problem was that I didn't come back the next morning.

Day 1 again.
Today I commit to a healthy day. A porn-free day and a porn substitute-free day. I won't look at porn, I won't scroll through social media, I won't play games on my phone and I won't watch YouTube videos.

I will create some time to actually do the things I enjoy.

All I have to do is take it one day at a time, with the added commitment that no matter what I will come back here tomorrow morning and make another post.

Last time I managed to get a streak going I was clean for over 5 months, I just need a circuit breaker.

I've been doing really badly lately, just a reminder to you all that it's never worth it. You slip up once and it's so easy to just lose months to this crap.