What is your main goal eventually with all of this? Obviously no porn, but will you masturbate once in a while or no? I know you've said you're waiting to have sex until marriage which is great, but I wasn't sure what your plan was beyond Monk mode.
Day 25, no po, no mo (monk mode).
Thanks blondie for your kind words and your encouragement. Yes, indeed the situation I’m in is a hell of a situation to get into. Monk mode (no porn no masturbation), obviously no sex until marriage, so what’s the way out?? how to escape?? What’s the plan??. I have been asking these questions myself…
Even masturbation once in a while is off my radar, I can't do it. In my case, if I do it then probably I will visit the porn land since my brain relates masturbation to porn.
There are these verses from the Quran that whenever I get urges I will recite it in my head, it’s from chapter 30, verses 40 and 41, “But as for him who feared standing before his Lord, and restrained himself from impure evil desires, and lusts Verily, Paradise will be his abode”.
This brings me to my religion. in Islam there is a hadith in which the prophet Muhammed (peace and blessings be upon him) said “who leave something for Allah's sake, Allah will replace him with something better”.
But who am i to speak about a religion like Islam, one of the big three (Judaism, Christianity, Islam). Obviously, I'm not a good Muslim, but i try my best to be one. I still remember back in the day when I was a heavy porn user, as I was consuming it my moral voice would start talking to me “ okay, so no one is home(check), you locked the door(check), you closed the window(check), alright great. And how about Allah who is watching you right now, as you disobey his guidance, but still he gets the air delivered to you under that door you locked so you can breathe, that’s just one of the blessings he blessed you with, i can continue if you want, and you still insist on doing what you are doing” But did i listen to that voice, well no, my brain was already soaking in dopamine to respond to anything else.
And after i masturbate and orgasm, i couldn’t even look myself in the mirror from all the guilt and shame i was feeling, and the torture of my morals.
But that was long ago, right now my plan might sound like woo woo to you, pray for the best and prepare for the worst. There is a verse from chapter 2 verse 186 “And when My servants ask you concerning Me (tell them), I am nearby indeed, I answer the prayer of the supplicant when he prays to Me, so they should respond to My call, and believe in Me (that I possess all these attributes) so that they may proceed in the right way.”.
I hope Allah will forgive me for all I have done and save me from my evil self from now on. I think all that happened wouldn’t be possible if I followed his commands and his prophet’s teachings (Muhammed peace and blessings be upon him). This is the pray for best part.
Prepare for the worst part is going to be continuing with monk mode (no porn no mo), fasting from time to time, and whenever I feel the urges are getting stronger to get hold of them, there is a hadith in which the prophet Muhammed (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “0 young men, those among you who can support a wife should marry, for it restrains eyes (from casting evil glances) and preserves one from immorality; but he who cannot afford It should observe fast for it is a means of controlling the sexual desire.”
And after I get my things together I will marry for sure, to protect myself from sexual immorality.
From Islamic point of view, marriage is a religious duty, a moral safeguard and a social commitment. Islam views it as a strong bond terming by Mithaqun Ghaleez that means a challenging commitment. It is a commitment to the dignified meaning of full survival of the human race.
I know my plan from now till I get married is full of gaps, but I believe if I’m honest in what I want with Allah, then he will not abandon me and will not leave me alone with my evil self.
I hope this answers your question blondie, and thanks for your support my friend.
Peace.
Ezel.