Pride and joy

Chuckles

Chuckles

Active Member
particularly_respecting said:
the side of pleasure gets weaker and shorter and the after-response to the side of pain gets stronger
Click to expand...
This was big for me. Not this exact quote, but this idea. That without realizing it, I was an addict developing a tolerance, and the thing I used to escape my pain was causing my pain.

I'm glad you're getting inspiration from the book!
I'm glad you're 23 days in!
Keep kicking ass!
 
particularly_respecting

particularly_respecting

Active Member
Day 24 of not using porn

Thanks again for your comments Blondie and Chuckles, and thank you also @viking1234
You've made the decision to quit too - you already are in the club
We're all on this journey together 💪

And yeah @Chuckles, I sort of knew about tolerance before I read it (I've been there myself too with porn)
But I never thought about how it tips the balance toward pain, not just for porn, but everything in life
So reading that part of the book was enlightening
Glad you're making good progress too!

Weird day today - power went out last night (hence short post)
Got more sleep than usual because of that, but still felt tired
Was dealing with admin stuff in the morning then sleepy in the afternoon so didn't get as much work done as I hoped
But still powered through and got some work done

Had some strong urges today but my defenses held strong

4/5 of the way to my target (30 days)
 
downhillfromhere

downhillfromhere

Well-Known Member
particularly_respecting said:
Day 24 of not using porn

Thanks again for your comments Blondie and Chuckles, and thank you also @viking1234
You've made the decision to quit too - you already are in the club
We're all on this journey together 💪

And yeah @Chuckles, I sort of knew about tolerance before I read it (I've been there myself too with porn)
But I never thought about how it tips the balance toward pain, not just for porn, but everything in life
So reading that part of the book was enlightening
Glad you're making good progress too!

Weird day today - power went out last night (hence short post)
Got more sleep than usual because of that, but still felt tired
Was dealing with admin stuff in the morning then sleepy in the afternoon so didn't get as much work done as I hoped
But still powered through and got some work done

Had some strong urges today but my defenses held strong

4/5 of the way to my target (30 days)
Click to expand...
Well done for getting this far. :) Keep going!
 
particularly_respecting

particularly_respecting

Active Member
Day 25 of not using porn

Thanks @downhillfromhere - I'm still in the fight!
It's a battle of attrition - and this time I'm hoping I can win

Good day today - got a reasonable amount of work done
Lost some time on more admin and housework stuff
But wasn't really procrastination so I'm pleased with that

Pleased with how I've cut down on procrastination over the past month
Seems to be helping my willpower with porn too - like a virtuous circle

Have been using ColdTurkeyBlocker which someone on this forum recommended
I ban reddit on weekdays then on weekends I reassess - but every time I've just banned it again immediately
(So haven't used it for well over a month)
The last couple of weeks I've also added YouTube, even though it's not really a problem for me
But it's been kinda nice having one less distraction
Cut out facebook long ago, so now this site and hackernews are the only social media I use
Pretty happy with that

I've had strong urges today but kept them under control
MW definitely seems better these days, but maybe it's just the effect of a few weeks of abstinence

Wife away again - game plan is the same as always
> Speak to wife (and family) on the phone
> Limit screentime
> Keep guitar nearby and reach for it when urges strike
+ will also try to get outside and get some exercise

Keep fighting brothers - reading everyone's journals on here is a big help 💪
 
particularly_respecting

particularly_respecting

Active Member
Day 26 of not using porn

Felt strong porn urges and procrastination urges today
Wasted some time in the morning - not 100% useless procrastination but stuff I could've done a different time
(think adjusting settings on the computer, stuff like that)
But powered through and managed to get a decent amount of work done in the end

Wife back tomorrow so that will be nice :)
Have not been so successful in cutting down screentime while she was away
Something to reflect on and work harder at next time

On to day 27 - really hoping I can get to 30 days
Stay strong brothers! 💪
 
particularly_respecting

particularly_respecting

Active Member
Day 27 of not using porn

Thank you @Blondie, @downhillfromhere, and @Onmyway19!
The community on here is big help - definitely feels different to my countless attempts to quit in the past

@Onmyway19 - yeah agree that recognizing the urges is an important sign
really it all comes down to self-knowledge.
Previously I acted on autopilot - just took the easy path without thinking about it

Now it's about saying do I really want to look at porn?
Of course the answer is NO - in my heart I hate that shit
I just kept picking it because it was easy, it felt good in the moment, and it was an escape from actually dealing with real life

Better day today - more focus at work
Tired but things will be better after tomorrow

Stay strong brothers - we have all made a conscious decision to do something difficult
But we have the strength within us to see it through. Let's never forget that 💪
 
particularly_respecting

particularly_respecting

Active Member
Day 28 of not using porn

Somewhat rough day
Got derailed by multiple things so I fell behind at work
Strong procrastination urges too - wasted at least an hour (mainly on news)
Still better than looking at nonsense and porn subs on reddit

Been reading Goggins book too after it was recommended by @Coming_Out_Strong and @logicprox
Making me think about getting back into running
I used to do trail running but the longest I ever did was about 30km
Honestly I didn't like the pain that came with those kinds of distances
(Obviously NOTHING compared to what Goggins does, but still)
But reading about how Goggins embraces the pain is making me reconsider
Or maybe that's just nostalgia 😂

Definitely feel the battle to keep pushing oneself and fighting through pain is relevant to our struggle here too
Stay strong brothers 💪
 
D

Deleted member 27008

Guest
I visit the forum less these days. and when i came to write my relapse today i saw that some of them are making great series 🙂 great 28 days dude. almost 1 month. keep going and it will turn into an endless series
 
particularly_respecting

particularly_respecting

Active Member
Day 29 of not using porn

Thank you @Blondie, @downhillfromhere, and @Resurrection!
There will be pain, there will be struggles, and there will be setbacks, but we are all in this fight together! 💪

Better day today. Better focus at work
Took my wife out for a nice lunch too

After procrastinating yesterday, I tried experimenting with adding hackernews and some news sites to coldturkeyblocker
Not sure whether I will keep blocking them but it seemed to work today

Just as I started to type the song Wake Up Everybody by Harold Melvin & the Blue Notes came on
The lyrics are pretty relevant to our struggle here
Wake up, all the builders, time to build a new land
I know we can do it if we all lend a hand
The only thing we have to do is put it in our minds
Surely things will work out, they do it every time
Click to expand...

Stay strong brothers! 💪
 
particularly_respecting

particularly_respecting

Active Member
Day 30 of not using porn

Hit my target - yeah :cool:
Already ordered a (dual) monitor arm. Arrives tomorrow

Next target is three months (May 25)
If I hit it, I'm getting a second monitor to celebrate
Looking at the empty second monitor arm will be my inspiration every day
(Yeah I'm a geek - but hey whatever works)

But seriously, good day today - focused on work
Wife came back early from her work
Previously I might've been caught out, scrambling to close tabs
But instead the dishes were washed, some housework was done, and I was getting on with my work
Felt good

Thanks to the community for all the support - huge help in getting this far
If I make it to three months it'll be huge progress for me (maybe second longest streak ever?)
Rooting for you all in your own journeys too 💪
 
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