That's my boy @downhillfromhere ... meant to ask you too how are you getting on in the ladies front? You were meeting someone a while ago. How did it go? Notice any changes since you've been off porn? Girls start to check it out?
Thanks for asking! I’m noticing a lot of changes in my mood and outlook on life, everything feels… well, better. There’s a lot more emotion to everything, I’m more aware of my surroundings and I’m communicating a lot better with people around me.
I am getting a lot of looks on certain days, and it certainly helps a lot to feel noticed. And yeah, I’ve actually been talking to the girl I mentioned every day for the past week, we have tons of things in common and she’s great to talk to. She’s been sick but we’re getting together later this week. I’ve still got a really good feeling about her!
Thanks, man! The second date went really well, actually so well I’m almost a little worried and wondering if it’s going too fast. But there’s not a doubt in my mind that I want to be with her, and after last night I know she feels the same way.
I won’t bore you guys with a lot of details, but we went to a dance class together and afterwards we lost track of time just sitting around enjoying each other’s company. And definitely some strong chemistry going on. It’s still very early, but I can’t wait to see where it leads!
On another note, my last relapse felt really humiliating. Mild trigger warning. It wasn’t just because I cracked and did something I don’t really want to do, but also because of the content of what I watched - specifically something the actress said at the end of the video. It was sort of like a veil lifting from the illusion of intimacy and meaning, in a really obvious way. I just don’t feel like watching that stuff again, and I really hope that feeling will last.
Out of fear of this turning into some teenager’s diary, I’ll just say that we had our third date, we’re trying to take things slow and I had the worst blue balls of my life last night
I’ve had quite a few relapses over the last year, I’ve lost count at this point. But I hope that getting to know this girl means that I will have an easier time staying away from porn. So far so good, at least!