It ends here.

downhillfromhere

downhillfromhere

Well-Known Member
Again, thanks for the support Blondie! I know I’m not alone in this, far from it. It helps to hear that things will be okay no matter how badly I slip up sometimes. I know it’s going to be okay, what matters is the choices we make from day to day, and realising that there have been far more good days than bad days after all.

I failed a couple more times after my last post, twice on Friday and once on Saturday if I remember correctly. Feels like the biggest relapse I’ve had so far. It was all just too familiar, easy to fall into that “good old” routine. I couldn’t stop it, I didn’t even want to. But the lower I go, the more I realise I need to do something, and the need for freedom and for staying true to myself becomes stronger than the need for superficial and meaningless “pleasure”.
 
downhillfromhere

downhillfromhere

Well-Known Member
Day 5

Been feeling some urges the last couple of days, but yesterday I listened to a podcast where a previous user would talk about their experience, and it really reminded me what I’m trying to achieve. A lot of it has to do with feeling joy in everyday life and getting back in touch with the things I love doing.

Lately I’ve felt real changes in my mood and it feels great! I’ve got more appreciation for people, I’m more talkative and expressive. Change is slow but it sure is going the right way!
 
downhillfromhere

downhillfromhere

Well-Known Member
It’s back to day 1 again for me. I’ve been keeping my mood pretty high, and I’m not feeling down because of this last relapse. It’s more that I’m feeling sick and tired of being trapped doing something I don’t want to be doing. I feel angry, and I want to channel that anger. I’ve said so many times that I’m done with this shit, but it really hit me hard this time. At one point I really have to get beyond this and stop getting sucked into it again at a whim.
 
Last edited:
forceisstrong2

forceisstrong2

Active Member
Hey man, I read your post a while back about having trouble finding a girl. My advice is to start filling your life with social activities. Join a dance class or something where you might meet ya know girls. Even if you dont, you will meet people, socialize, have fun.

You were doing great only a little while ago. You'll be back on those kinda numbers again real soon. Ya know yourself, do meditation, or whatever you did before to stop watching the bullshit. I found it very useful to not trust one's own brain for the first couple of weeks.

You'll beat this cràppy addiction.Then comes life, brotha. Build a great one for yourself.
 
downhillfromhere

downhillfromhere

Well-Known Member
Thank you, that’s great advice that I’ve been thinking about for some time, I really want to do that. I tend to try to find excuses not to go to things like that alone, becaus le I’ve been really socially anxious in the past. That stuff is getting a lot better though, to the point where I feel like I’m not anxious anymore, even if going places and doing stuff alone still feels uncomfortable. Thanks for the reminder and the support!

Day 4
 
downhillfromhere

downhillfromhere

Well-Known Member
@Blondie and @forceisstrong2, thanks for the support. I’m going good, not thinking about all this too much, just trying to fill my days with worthwhile stuff. Showing up to different things with friends and going alone to others. Went to a concert, went climbing yesterday and yoga class today. Thinking of making this a habit, just doing at least one or two things each week to get out there and start meeting people.

Otherwise I’m feeling good lately, feeling more and more social and opening up more week by week. Had some depression last week but it came and went like it always does. Lately the good days far outweigh the bad ones!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top