It ends here.

[downhillfromhere]

Day 43

 

[downhillfromhere]

Day 44

 

[downhillfromhere]

Day 45

 

[searching4good]

Keep up the great work @downhillfromhere. The big 50 is in your sights!

 

[downhillfromhere]

Thank you @searching4good!

Day 46

 

[downhillfromhere]

Day 47

 

[downhillfromhere]

Day 48

This weekend I had some thoughts again, about having “just a look”. I reminded myself that I don’t really want to, that it’s just a trick to reel me back in.

I don’t want to engage with that stuff anymore, I really don’t. What helped in the moment was distracting myself with other things, after a few minutes the urge fades again.

 

[downhillfromhere]

Day 49

 

[Blondie]

Day 50 is right here!

 

[downhillfromhere]

Day 50

@Blondie, there it is! Feels good to be on the right track again.

 

[GBS]

Good job on your 50 days. You have so much to gain by keeping this up. Porn destroys brains and therefore people. Our behaviour changes and we become something that you were never meant to be.

Keep going, man.

 

[searching4good]

Keep up the great work @downhillfromhere - really inspiring stuff

 

[downhillfromhere]

Thanks @GBS and @searching4good, I appreciate it!

 

[downhillfromhere]

Day 51

 

[downhillfromhere]

Day 54

 

[Blondie]

Looking good as always.

 

[downhillfromhere]

Thanks @Blondie!

Day 1

I have to start over. Don’t know what happened, but I think I’ve been feeling frustrated about not meeting anyone and feeling really lonely, basically. It’s no excuse, I’m doing this for myself and I should be able to get by just fine without resorting to looking at porn to feel better.

I think when rebooting as a single guy who’s honestly struggling with dating or just getting laid, it can feel like there’s a sexuality that fades away the longer you stay away from porn. It can feel like there’s nothing to rewire to. Of course it doesn’t really make sense because porn is nothing, it’s just something that I can cling to in order for the illusion of intimacy to remain.

I’m not sure there’s any big lesson this time around for me. I decided to quit yet again, but I couldn’t stick to it. Have not been doing the reading and the work that needs to be done in order for me to stay focused, so moving forward that has to be addressed.

On the bright side I’ve been feeling just fine staying away from porn. It feels like it’s becoming a new normal for me, it creates space for meaning and purpose in my life. I’m not sure I’ve been grabbing that opportunity as well as I could, but I’m working on it!

Reminding myself that I don’t need porn, and I don’t want to use it. There’s no pleasure, no meaning and no gain.

 

[Blondie]

It's okay @downhillfromhere, it happens. 54 days is great streak. I understand the whole needing someone and the difficulty that can bring in trying to quit. Are you doing any kind of activities or social events etc. where maybe you could find someone who has similar interests?

Keep going man, you got this. I find it extremely bad ass for those here who don't have a partner or wife, but are still commented to this cause.

 

[downhillfromhere]

Thanks man, I appreciate that. It’s been tough to get moving in the right direction again, I relapsed three days in a row and it’s now day 1 again.

My mood has been really good lately, and I am really feeling the effects of not using porn, staying active, getting enough sleep, meditating and taking cold showers every day. A few days of making the wrong decision doesn’t ruin that progress, but if I let it continue any longer then it will.

I know that if I start using porn regularly again it’s going to drain my vitality and end up with anxiety and depression that I’ve been fighting since I was a teenager. I don’t want that. I relapsed, but it’s not going to stop me from doing what’s right for me in the long run, and that involves staying away from using porn.

 

[Blondie]

Thanks man, I appreciate that. It’s been tough to get moving in the right direction again, I relapsed three days in a row and it’s now day 1 again.

I understand, I was just there very recently. It's a decision you have to make when it's all done, either to put the "girls" back into the Pandora's box or keep on "having fun". As for me, I know I've enough of that kind of fun for a lifetime.

My mood has been really good lately, and I am really feeling the effects of not using porn, staying active, getting enough sleep, meditating and taking cold showers every day. A few days of making the wrong decision doesn’t ruin that progress, but if I let it continue any longer then it will.

This is all true. I feel very lucky that nothing seems to have screwed me up too much from my small relapses. I plan to keep it that way.

Best man