Indeed, GBS! I often think about the weird "relationship" I have (had) with favourite adult models. I always thought it would be interesting to confront one of them and ask "so how does it feel knowing that millions of men of all ages are jerking off while looking at pictures and videos of you?" That's not meant to condemn the women personally - I guess they were just doing a job - but honestly - they must know what they're getting into, and if they don't, they should. The whole business is creepy and exploitative. Even if those girls are treated nicely and the photos are arty, the end result is the same: fapping around the world.The women on the screen would think we were sad sad people.
Oh man. That sounds EXACTLY like me. I think I sometimes troll the internet just sort of waiting for an excuse to fail with P too... my therapist also suggested in the past that partially I have an internet addiciton (that's a strong term - but a compulsion to keep seeking out stimulation from novelty - porn is the strongest - but for example videos of car crashes work at a lower level too).Day 84 (no PMO), day 13 (no MO).
So the porn imagery floating around in my brain has calmed down, but now I find myself engaging in compulsive behavior that kind of mimics looking at porn. Too much time on social media websites, scrolling on sites looking at images (not porn or porn subs thankfully), and also using some apps too often. Compulsive behaviour. It's like my brain is looking for some kind of dopamine fix and hopes it will find it through the act of browsing and scrolling. But what am I looking for? Maybe I need to stay away from the internet for a few days and put out those fires.