Another story - probably the same as everyone else

GBS

GBS

Respected Member
559 days sober
2 monk

You know what @joepanic , I can never be 100% sure if you’re talking in the abstract or commenting on my position. I shall give you the benefit of the doubt and presume the former. However you can appear somewhat uncompromising and I fear when you interject you slightly do so to wind people up. I freely admit I can be wound up, so I think I won’t address what you said. But please can you put on your “kind” coat next time. I do not want my string to turn into one of those which sparks a row.

Thank you.
 
Ezel

Ezel

Respected Member
GBS said:
559 days sober
2 monk

You know what @joepanic , I can never be 100% sure if you’re talking in the abstract or commenting on my position. I shall give you the benefit of the doubt and presume the former. However you can appear somewhat uncompromising and I fear when you interject you slightly do so to wind people up. I freely admit I can be wound up, so I think I won’t address what you said. But please can you put on your “kind” coat next time. I do not want my string to turn into one of those which sparks a row.

Thank you.
Click to expand...
Glad you're doing well and pushing through GBS. Respect Sir.
 
Ezel

Ezel

Respected Member
GBS said:
Cheers pal @Ezel . Pushing through and onwards is what we must all do.
Click to expand...
i'm a city fan, but this liverpool chant rings true, especially to us rebooters who feel like we are alone in this journey, but weren't cuz of communities like this forum.

When you walk through a storm
Keep your chin up high
And don't be afraid of the dark
At the end of a storm is a golden sky
And the sweet silver song of a lark

Walk on through the wind
Walk on through the rain
Tho' your dreams
Be tossed and blown
Walk on
Walk on
With hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone
You'll never walk alone

When you walk through a storm
Hold your head up high
And don't be afraid of the dark
At the end of a storm is a golden sky
And the sweet silver song of a lark

Walk on through the wind
Walk on through the rain
Tho' your dreams
Be tossed and blown
Walk on
Walk on
With hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone
You'll never walk alone
 
GBS

GBS

Respected Member
Weird thing is it was Liverpool we went to today (for his university)! @Ezel - a City fan? I had no idea. Is that through some geographical connection or inherited colours or what? We (my boys and I) are die hard Oxford United fans so we’re not fit to lace your boots.
 
GBS

GBS

Respected Member
561 days sober
4 monk mode

Been an exhausting weekend. Followed two lovely weeks away and a difficult journey home but in general things are on an even keel. There has been zero discussion about “us” in weeks. I can easily go down the rabbit hole of self pity but refuse to. Couples therapy should start in a few weeks when this should all be discussed. I find just writing about my expectations for that can make me excited but possibly over confident. I will let you know of course.
 
GBS

GBS

Respected Member
563 days sober
6 days semen retained

Family all away for two days so just me and the dogs at home. This could be a time for phenomenal temptation but I can close my mind to that. How is a good question, and thanks for asking…..

I know that one of the largest benefits from my introspection these 18 months has been the total freedom one gets from not hiding something. There is guilt to be free of too, but knowing you haven’t hidden some secret allows one to walk around without a care in the world. My old life would be full of “what if she knew” or “if x texts me back, will my wife ask why my phone beeped and what will I say”, or just straight forwardly “I can’t remember how many little secrets there are, but there are loads and remembering them all is a job in itself “. None of that shit. I could watch porn right now if I wanted and then delete the history. Easy. Brain says there’s no danger so why not? GBS says “ how will you feel about 30 seconds after you’ve cum?” Answer - like you’re a worthless piece of excrement who is pretending to recover. So I am not scared of being alone because I trust myself. That, my friends, is like being given £1 million. Arguably more.

Stay clean, don’t be what you were, be what you know you are becoming.
 
GBS

GBS

Respected Member
564 days sober
7 days no MO

I was playing some stupid online card game yesterday , and you get ads after each hand. Very annoying but you get used to it. Mainly innocuous stuff is advertised but occasionally something comes up and I wonder if it’s targeted towards me or just pot luck. And the crazy (and annoying) example from yesterday was an advert for an AI online girlfriend! Really? That exists! Maybe I am truly naive. Of course the picture advertising it was somewhat alluring so I fought off the mini urge and we’re all good. But you can’t take your eye off the ball here. Do you reckon I was unlucky or my past search history made me a target? If the latter then how come I haven’t had these semi saucy stuff in the past, and anyway my history for the last 18 months is celibate.
 
Androg

Androg

Administrator
Admin
Moderator
GBS said:
564 days sober
7 days no MO

I was playing some stupid online card game yesterday , and you get ads after each hand. Very annoying but you get used to it. Mainly innocuous stuff is advertised but occasionally something comes up and I wonder if it’s targeted towards me or just pot luck. And the crazy (and annoying) example from yesterday was an advert for an AI online girlfriend! Really? That exists! Maybe I am truly naive. Of course the picture advertising it was somewhat alluring so I fought off the mini urge and we’re all good. But you can’t take your eye off the ball here. Do you reckon I was unlucky or my past search history made me a target? If the latter then how come I haven’t had these semi saucy stuff in the past, and anyway my history for the last 18 months is celibate.
Click to expand...
It could just be that the AI bots have figured out you are male.😎
 
  • Like
Reactions: GBS
GBS

GBS

Respected Member
565 days sober
8 days no MO

Had therapy session yesterday. Not 100% sure why I still have therapy but don’t want to sound complacent, and my therapist is amazing. We talked a lot about defining libido when it’s so different to what it was. The main point being that an adjusted libido in a 61 year old man doesn’t mean you have significantly less sex drive, just less. Some 60 year olds (with “normal” non-porn adjusted libidos) could still want sex twice a week if not more, others would be ok with twice a month. You just have to locate yours. I am not sure if I know what mine is, but I think I am getting close to it.
 
GBS

GBS

Respected Member
566 days sober
9 days no MO

Go check out @Blondie ’s string in the 30+ forum. Very interesting discussion about sex without ejaculation. He‘s not saying it’s the holy grail, but equally he’s saying that ejaculation/getting your nut off is also not what the whole thing is about.
Tantric sex should be taught in sex Ed classes at school. Sheesh.
 
searching4good

searching4good

Active Member
Fantastic to see you keep on knocking those days down @GBS - I know that's not the only priority for you with everything else going on, but all the same, it's really inspiring to see. A massive pat on the back from a fellow Brit.

(Ps have always been curious about whereabouts in Blighty you reside, although obviously completely understand if you would rather not say! I'm currently battling away down in busy old London...)
 
GBS

GBS

Respected Member
567 days sober
10 days no MO

Cheers fellow Brit @searching4good - I wrote you a DM.

I don’t know what is an urge these days and what is just a feeling borne from a week and a half of no masturbation. The urge us to find some picture at least. I won’t do it, I am just telling you what my brain is doing. Living with my voluptuous wife is like heaven and hell. Just looking at her is (and should be) enough. And yet as you know we’re still no a no touch zone here so it’s a mild form of torture.

Last boy delivered to university yesterday. Sad. Wife has got up really early today and is sitting musing downstairs. I shall be a perfect husband today.
 
GBS

GBS

Respected Member
568 days sober
11 days no MO

Wife being jolly nice to me , certainly was yesterday. Empty nest brings insecurities I think but we’re being connected or at least we’re acting like we are. She has therapy today for the first time in ages. Couples therapy will be discussed and should progress soon. She looked SO good yesterday…..I won’t go on. Suffice it to say I was rewarded with Guinness Book or Records morning glory today. This may be a bit weird, but I measured my girth when having an erection the other day, and it’s over 5 and a half inches. I am a tripod!
 
GBS

GBS

Respected Member
569 days sober
12 days no MO

Over on @joepanic ’s string I read the disappointing news that Gabe Deem has decided there are to be no new registrations on here and that’s from a few months ago. He obviously will have his reasons and I won’t speculate for fear off gossip mongering - so if we all stay here it’s like we’re trapped in a lift/elevator, and if we drift away it will be the Mary Celeste again.

Meanwhile all quiet here. Not a word from my wife after her therapy session. No news on the couples therapy thing yet. I would be entitled to sulk like a teenager but obviously I won’t. I cannot but help think that a lot of eggs are in the couples therapy basket.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top