That is a disturbing report. I think you should consider going back to your therapist until you’re feeling better.
Congratulations on your exam results. Don’t throw your career away. I am sure you have important contributions to make.
A little support because I want to become Better
- Thread starter ladysudan
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Congratulations on your exam results. Don’t throw your career away. I am sure you have important contributions to make.
ladysudan
Active Member
Have you ever felt lonely in a crowded room?
today we had a dance competition in our college and it was fun but I felt as I needed at least one person to be there with me and unfortunately no one was. I shake it off saying you're fine on your own. But the reality is college is supposed to be fun and make friends and I'm not having fun and I'm not making friends. I dressed all on my own and I thought I was looking pretty...only to end up feeling like shit.
I relapsed.
I still haven't talked to my therapist.
I'm not being able to focus on my studies or music or anything.
I don't talk to my parents much.
Lately I hate everyone and everything.
58 days left for my exams.
today we had a dance competition in our college and it was fun but I felt as I needed at least one person to be there with me and unfortunately no one was. I shake it off saying you're fine on your own. But the reality is college is supposed to be fun and make friends and I'm not having fun and I'm not making friends. I dressed all on my own and I thought I was looking pretty...only to end up feeling like shit.
I relapsed.
I still haven't talked to my therapist.
I'm not being able to focus on my studies or music or anything.
I don't talk to my parents much.
Lately I hate everyone and everything.
58 days left for my exams.
Do you meditate daily? I ask because it can help you regulate your mood.
Too often when we’re angry and resentful we think we have to stay with those feelings until they pass away by themselves. That’s an error. There are things we can do to shift our neurochemistry or, to describe it differently, raise our spirits.
It behooves us to raise our spirits because it shifts how we see the world for the better.
In other words, if you allow yourself to stay discouraged, you see the world through very dark glasses. If you go out for a jog or walk and smile at everyone you pass, I think you will feel better.
You have more control over how you are feeling than you realize.
What can you do to counter the depression? Have you tried exercise, meditation?
ladysudan
Active Member
Maybe I'll give it a shot
ladysudan
Active Member
Have you ever been in some situations where you are ready to leave people behind but they arent ready to leave you?
What have you done then?
Honestly College isnt the kind of life I thought I would be having. It just feels like middle or high school minus the bullying part.
I hate most of the people around me yet I have to act nice around them. I'm so done being nice. It's frustrating. Frustrating to the level where I put my face on to the pillow and scream but then it would be a muffled scream.
Man I have lot to complain about....how do I make things easy for me....and not let people or studies get on to my nerves?
Im writing as if this is Reddit.
What have you done then?
Honestly College isnt the kind of life I thought I would be having. It just feels like middle or high school minus the bullying part.
I hate most of the people around me yet I have to act nice around them. I'm so done being nice. It's frustrating. Frustrating to the level where I put my face on to the pillow and scream but then it would be a muffled scream.
Man I have lot to complain about....how do I make things easy for me....and not let people or studies get on to my nerves?
Im writing as if this is Reddit.
ladysudan
Active Member
I passed my first year exams of med school.
7 days into 2nd year and now I've to appear for small tests.
My battle with porn no longer feels like a struggle. There are some instances where I had wanted the way porn has presented it. This was me craving for something that is not healthy at all.
The power of real intimacy starts with locking your eyes with a person whom you found adorable, making efforts and excuses to talk to him/her, holding hands for the first time, coming closer for the first time, having your first kiss, the way he/she teases you and I could go on and on. The thing is Love is all about effort.
Porn has always made things so lustful that at this point people have become deprived of real intimacy in their romantic lives. People no longer feel connected or attached.
Everything is worth the wait in Love. But porn destroys everything and makes you dull.
I hope I'll become better. I promise to fail a lot in person so I succeed in public.
7 days into 2nd year and now I've to appear for small tests.
My battle with porn no longer feels like a struggle. There are some instances where I had wanted the way porn has presented it. This was me craving for something that is not healthy at all.
The power of real intimacy starts with locking your eyes with a person whom you found adorable, making efforts and excuses to talk to him/her, holding hands for the first time, coming closer for the first time, having your first kiss, the way he/she teases you and I could go on and on. The thing is Love is all about effort.
Porn has always made things so lustful that at this point people have become deprived of real intimacy in their romantic lives. People no longer feel connected or attached.
Everything is worth the wait in Love. But porn destroys everything and makes you dull.
I hope I'll become better. I promise to fail a lot in person so I succeed in public.
ladysudan
Active Member
Hi there Everyone!
So I'm 5 months away to complete my 2nd year of med school. I'm doing fine. My mental health is fine. In April, I got a roommate. There have been minor differences with her but I think we will sort it out.
Talking about my personal life. I need someone to make me understand what's happening and if it's good for me or not.
So since the March of 2023, I have been talking to a guy who changed cities and joined the high school back in 2019. That's where he might have met me and talked with me. I don't even remember this interaction with him. We were in completely different classes but he somehow managed to look at me throughout the day from afar. He said that he instantly liked me from his first interaction with me. Then COVID came, there was no way we could meet. And in 2021, we all passed out from high schools. He got himself admission in an engineering college. While I failed in my first attempt (in 2021). In Dec 2022, I finally joined med school. Then created my social ID on Instagram. He then texted me. I accepted his request...not clearly remembering anything. He seemed nice. We would talk sometimes(once in a month or 2 months in Instagram DMs) since we both were busy. Through these gradual conversations I started liking him.
He's highly introverted and basically refused to share any personal details or photos for entire one year. I never pressurized him or made him uncomfortable. It was his choice.
Then 1 month back, he texted me again. I shared him a photo of mine to which he found himself turned on. That photo wasn't even sexually appealing. I was just wearing my casual clothes. And then on my birthday we sexted for which I didn't agree at first. Then from that day, he very often has asked me for sexting. I would've been comfortable if we were dating or we were in a relationship. We have had at least 10 sexting experiences. All happened because he wanted to. He justifies that by saying that he's got a high sex drive. Whenever I have denied his advances, he would act so cold and rude. I have tried to talk to him about this 2 times and yet he still wants it. He's pushy most of the times. Whenever I have asked about having a relationship or talking about future, he just puts it aside and says "FOCUS ON THE PRESENT" and goes back talking about sex. I don't like it. I just think he's being insensitive, unemotional and non understanding in this situation.
There are times where I have sexted and he asked for nudes in between. Sometimes he would leave sexting too soon and go wanking all alone because of my nudes. This is horrible. I hate it.
I genuinely liked him. I never expected he would turn out like this. Am I experiencing what others call it " Bread Crumbling" ? Also what should I do? Also he never apologized. Also he mentioned he used to watch porn and stopped watching from the first time he sexted with me. Maybe he never really realised that he's done mistakes.
Sorry for making it too long.
So I'm 5 months away to complete my 2nd year of med school. I'm doing fine. My mental health is fine. In April, I got a roommate. There have been minor differences with her but I think we will sort it out.
Talking about my personal life. I need someone to make me understand what's happening and if it's good for me or not.
So since the March of 2023, I have been talking to a guy who changed cities and joined the high school back in 2019. That's where he might have met me and talked with me. I don't even remember this interaction with him. We were in completely different classes but he somehow managed to look at me throughout the day from afar. He said that he instantly liked me from his first interaction with me. Then COVID came, there was no way we could meet. And in 2021, we all passed out from high schools. He got himself admission in an engineering college. While I failed in my first attempt (in 2021). In Dec 2022, I finally joined med school. Then created my social ID on Instagram. He then texted me. I accepted his request...not clearly remembering anything. He seemed nice. We would talk sometimes(once in a month or 2 months in Instagram DMs) since we both were busy. Through these gradual conversations I started liking him.
He's highly introverted and basically refused to share any personal details or photos for entire one year. I never pressurized him or made him uncomfortable. It was his choice.
Then 1 month back, he texted me again. I shared him a photo of mine to which he found himself turned on. That photo wasn't even sexually appealing. I was just wearing my casual clothes. And then on my birthday we sexted for which I didn't agree at first. Then from that day, he very often has asked me for sexting. I would've been comfortable if we were dating or we were in a relationship. We have had at least 10 sexting experiences. All happened because he wanted to. He justifies that by saying that he's got a high sex drive. Whenever I have denied his advances, he would act so cold and rude. I have tried to talk to him about this 2 times and yet he still wants it. He's pushy most of the times. Whenever I have asked about having a relationship or talking about future, he just puts it aside and says "FOCUS ON THE PRESENT" and goes back talking about sex. I don't like it. I just think he's being insensitive, unemotional and non understanding in this situation.
There are times where I have sexted and he asked for nudes in between. Sometimes he would leave sexting too soon and go wanking all alone because of my nudes. This is horrible. I hate it.
I genuinely liked him. I never expected he would turn out like this. Am I experiencing what others call it " Bread Crumbling" ? Also what should I do? Also he never apologized. Also he mentioned he used to watch porn and stopped watching from the first time he sexted with me. Maybe he never really realised that he's done mistakes.
Sorry for making it too long.
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