Exciting days!!

tydurden

tydurden

Member
Day 29

Not much urges to watch P. Still flatline and feeling down in general. I mentioned before that I would like to start dating, but after a few (quite successful) romantic events lately I am not sure if I am ready. Women tend to like me, I just feel dead inside: I don't feel anything for the women Im dating. If I start dating someone I just put on a timer for how long it takes before she gets too involved while I don't feel anything and we end things. I don't know if I am dating the wrong women or if it's me. If it is me, maybe a break from dating would help. Does anyone have any experience with this? Filling the void from P with starting a relationship sounds like a pretty good idea to me, but maybe it's just too early. Or maybe this is not very related to P at all.

Anyways, feeling down. Not progressing in any other aspects in life except that I am quitting P. I compensate with more sugar and more binge watching on Netflix. Which feels shitty, but OK - maybe even necessary. Will try to do one more thing other than just quitting P this week. Maybe just smile more to colleagues at work or go for a run one day. I know, quite ambitious :cool: Baby steps. No P. Stay strong people!
 
SmokenMirrors

SmokenMirrors

Well-Known Member
Try and get some exercise in, it works wonders! I can certainly relate on the woman front; I feel nothing towards them as well! I think its either a porn or depression thing, but it'll clean itself up eventually! Just gotta keep fighting, king
 
tydurden

tydurden

Member
Day 30

Really don't feel like dating. I have options out there but I would rather stay at home and just swipe on Tinder. Im still on Tinder and it is kind of a trigger for me. Probably not good at all. I feel broken. I could delete Tinder but it's also a good place to meet new people and start dating
 
tydurden

tydurden

Member
Still day 30

I dont want to call it a relapse. But. Been talking to a few people on Tinder, people I probably dont want to date. Just dirty talk. It gives me a similar rush to what I get from P. Its artificial, objectifying. I am basically just fooling myself at this point. So I guess I must be awere of that and just stay away from any kind artificial sexual stimulus.

I am still not very much healed at all and close to relapsing completely. Will keep myself busy the next few days
 
F

FrankWhite12

Member
Hey Durden, how are you keepin up? I know this tinder thing, used to do it sometimes as well. Not sure what I was looking for, maybe pics or just the thought of being intimate with those girls even though I know I want a real connection.
Keep grinding man, you can kick this habit!
 
tydurden

tydurden

Member
Thanks, @FrankWhite12! I think I just miss the sex-on-a-screen arousal. Which is pretty fucked up; The dopamine release of chatting on Tinder with a random that I know I will never meet is greater than chatting with real women who I actually care for. It just shows how damaged I am😎😢 no porn. Still doing it
 
tydurden

tydurden

Member
Day 36

Still no PMO, which is good. Not doing too well with everything else. Nothing to brag about when it comes to work, social life, alcohol or exercise. I think I want to step up my game. I find it hard to focus at work and in my spare time I do little to nothing productive. Just start with something. I will do one productive thing every day and I will reduce my alcohol consumption. Im too old to be drinking from Friday to Sunday - it ruins the first half of the next week.
 
tydurden

tydurden

Member
Day 38

No PMO. Low energy, lazy and close to relapsing. Starting to become depressed just from my life style. Strugling with getting stuff done. Or thats an understatement; I'm struggling with starting any productive tasks. At this point, staying off porn is a great achievement. Stay strong out there!
 
T

TypeN

Active Member
tydurden said:
Day 38

No PMO. Low energy, lazy and close to relapsing. Starting to become depressed just from my life style. Strugling with getting stuff done. Or thats an understatement; I'm struggling with starting any productive tasks. At this point, staying off porn is a great achievement. Stay strong out there!
Click to expand...
Definitely a great achievement, I'm inspired when I see these double digit streaks. Keep going man, if you can get this far then I bet you can work through those negative feelings. It's totally okay to have low energy, unproductive days; that's much better than a day binging.
 
tydurden

tydurden

Member
Day 39 without porn

Thank you, @TypeN! I can work through some negative feelings! I sounds easier once you said it. Not being sarcastic, it actually helps!

Today I had a meal at home by myself without watching tv. It was really weird and awesome. Sounds dumb, but its just one of my habits that I just cant seem to get rid of. I cannot honestly tell last time I did that. Just eating. Just me. Without any distractions. In this fast-moving world full of Instagram and constant distractions I know I'm not alone in feeling weirded out by enjoying a moment alone. But it is crazy how addicted we get to stuff without even noticing. Everyone knows to watch out for drugs, but no-one tells you that binge watching Breaking Bad for the seventh time actually resembles an addiction. Anyways, one addiction at a time:cool: If I manage to get rid of porn from my life I know I can get rid of other time wasting habits thereafter.

breaking-bad-meme-11.jpg
 
tydurden

tydurden

Member
Day 41

Feeling better. Also day 6 without O. Woke up with morning wood. It's rewarding to go without O so I wish I could do it for longer than a week. My libido had a serious rise after 5 days. The only problem is I get so much closer to relapsing if I walk around horny all the time. Last time I relapsed was after going for longer than a week without O. Will see. The most important is no porn. Stat strong guys!
 
tydurden

tydurden

Member
Day 43

very strong urges. Been using subsitutes yesterday and it feels like a little relapse. I dont want to reset my counter, but I need to completely stop using any substitutes from this point on. Talking to girls on Tinder is a substitute in some cases. It's getting hard. Will not try to go munk style; it's to risky. So I will allow myself to masturbate how often I want.
 
T

TypeN

Active Member
I feel you mate, it's very easy to let "substitute" type stuff in without really meaning to. But you clearly have a lot of self control and discipline to do as well as you've been doing. I think you can kick the substitutes and keep this feeling of "little relapse" from turning into an actual one. Stay strong dude. 💪
 
the_mountain_goat

the_mountain_goat

Active Member
Hey! Just read some of your thread. Good progress! Careful with substitutes indeed. Also careful with allowing masturbation at this part of the process. You know how it can lead to full relapse with the rebound effect (pretty much always my case!). Hope all went well.
 
tydurden

tydurden

Member
Day 49

I have been using substitutes for the last few days. Basically chatting to girls on Tinder. So I think its time to quit Tinder. I want to take a break from dating anyways. Need to step it up to continue this healing process.

Feeling pretty down in general. Low energy, easily irritated, no exercise, too much alcohol, bad sleeping schedule. I cannot even get through the complete basic of productive tasks. I will limit myself to less partying then usual and hopefully that will help me. The social pressure to drink is definately a challenge if I want to drink less, so I need to be smart about it. Wish me luck! Stay strong everyone! November is tough.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top