Finally sick and tired of being sick and tired

[FreedomFromTheStruggle_11]

Fell into the flatline yesterday afternoon and it was awful. However, I am very blessed that I seem to always go through it in the first month and slowly improve after that. I finally came clean with my best friend last night about my Hypofrontality and how awful I've felt over the last few years because of this problem. She was extremely supportive, and I was relieved. She has stuck with me since 2018, and this time will be no different. She's never judged me, she's only loved me and supported me. You never realize how much that means until you are on the receiving end of it. Gonna focus these next few weeks on my love of history. I've always loved history so much growing up, but thanks to the numbing power of pmo, it's lost a bit of it's allure. I know over time I'll find that love for it again. Hope all of you have a good day. Struggling to wake up today but hopefully soon the fog will lift.

 

[FreedomFromTheStruggle_11]

Working out is helping me tremendously. It clears my mind and helps me feel better. Plus it's a healthy way to get dopamine and get rid of stress and frustration that rebooting creates. So far, no big urges. Had some small ones last night, but my libido is low and I was able to go to sleep. Friend down below is shrunken but it means I'm going in the right direction. The brain can change. I can heal.

 

[jatinverma31]

Working out is helping me tremendously. It clears my mind and helps me feel better. Plus it's a healthy way to get dopamine and get rid of stress and frustration that rebooting creates. So far, no big urges. Had some small ones last night, but my libido is low and I was able to go to sleep. Friend down below is shrunken but it means I'm going in the right direction. The brain can change. I can heal.

Same here. I have been going to gym for a year but I was still watching porn. Watching porn at night and neglecting rest was one of the reason I wasn't seeing much growth in my body. But nowadays I am taking fitness seriously, so even thinking about watching porn makes me worry about my health. Also I am usually not left with extra energy to watch porn at night, I just want to be asleep asap when I get to my bed. It still takes some effort to say "no" at that crucial moment in night time, but as I continue to do so every day it's becoming easier and easier. Loving this phase of my life. Loving the pain that comes from workout. All I need to do is keep this momentum going and keep saying no to urges. Good luck to you!

 

[FreedomFromTheStruggle_11]

Same here. I have been going to gym for a year but I was still watching porn. Watching porn at night and neglecting rest was one of the reason I wasn't seeing much growth in my body. But nowadays I am taking fitness seriously, so even thinking about watching porn makes me worry about my health. Also I am usually not left with extra energy to watch porn at night, I just want to be asleep asap when I get to my bed. It still takes some effort to say "no" at that crucial moment in night time, but as I continue to do so every day it's becoming easier and easier. Loving this phase of my life. Loving the pain that comes from workout. All I need to do is keep this momentum going and keep saying no to urges. Good luck to you!

Thank you! Same to you!!

 

[FreedomFromTheStruggle_11]

For the first time since my last relapse, I feel good. Still no libido, but I feel genuinely good in my head. It's not as cluttered in there as it usually is. I think it is a combination of working out this week and abstaining from pmo. Gonna keep at it. Have a great day, everyone.

 

[Blondie]

How we doing brother?

 

[Ezel]

hey freedom talk to us man...

 

[FreedomFromTheStruggle_11]

hey freedom talk to us man...

Sorry guys. Just saw your posts. Doing well. I've been spending time with family tonight and had a good time. I've been really investing heavily in my friendships and relationships lately, and it's been super super good. It's amazing how connecting with others helps your mind. Hope you two dudes are doing well also. Thank you as always for checking in. I've been trying to get on every day, but the last few days I've just been a bit busy.

 

[FreedomFromTheStruggle_11]

Day 4 of hard mode. In the flatline, but feeling grateful and calm. I've been here before and I know what is to come if I stick with it. Have a good weekend.

 

[Ezel]

Day 4 of hard mode. In the flatline, but feeling grateful and calm. I've been here before and I know what is to come if I stick with it. Have a good weekend.

you can do it freedom. let's go champ.

 

[FreedomFromTheStruggle_11]

you can do it freedom. let's go champ.

Appreciate it, pal. We both know the greatness of going on a long streak. We both know what to look forward to if we can stay the course. We've got this.

 

[Ezel]

Hey freedom, how are things going on your side man??!

 

[FreedomFromTheStruggle_11]

Hey freedom, how are things going on your side man??!

Going well. I've been working on limiting my screen time and it's really helping. I've also picked up gratitude journaling, and it's been really great. Just trying to grow and be my higher self. Hope you are doing well also and I appreciate you reaching out.

 

[Ezel]

Going well. I've been working on limiting my screen time and it's really helping. I've also picked up gratitude journaling, and it's been really great. Just trying to grow and be my higher self. Hope you are doing well also and I appreciate you reaching out.

My pleasure man. Keep pushing, you got this.

 

[Blondie]

How we doing @FreedomFromTheStruggle_11?

Bless you brother.

 

[FreedomFromTheStruggle_11]

How we doing @FreedomFromTheStruggle_11?

Bless you brother.

Good bro. Looking forward to Thanksgiving. Hope you are well.

 

[Blondie]

Same here man, I can't wait. I'm dieting now so I can be a glutton soon!

 

[FreedomFromTheStruggle_11]

Same here man, I can't wait. I'm dieting now so I can be a glutton soon!

I always take it easy until Thanksgiving and then that day and the days after I go wild. Lol.

 

[FreedomFromTheStruggle_11]

Just wanted to come on here and say how thankful I am for this forum and all of you and your stories and experiences. We are all here because of a common enemy. But we all also share a common bond. We are trying to go towards the gold. Some of us have reached it, some of us are still trying. But we never give up. Thankful that the brain can change and that it can heal. Thankful that PIED is reversible. Thankful that no matter how many slips I have, I can shake it off and get back on track. Thankful for Gabe and his story. Had I not discovered him, I may not be on this forum or have the information and hope that I have. I'm thankful for my clean streaks, because I know how good life gets. Thankful for the darkness of a relapse, because I know where I don't want to go. I'm thankful for an amazing best friend who loved me at my absolute worst this year. Without her, I truly have no idea where I'd be. She doesn't know much about this struggle we all have, but she loves me enough to stick around and help me. Her support has been so helpful. I look so forward to next week and into the Christmas season. My favorite time of year. Love you all so much and thank you for everything.

 

[FreedomFromTheStruggle_11]

Day 3 of hard mode. Trying to not count the days, but wanted to update everyone. Currently in the flatline which always happens for me as soon as I begin to reboot for some reason. It's a break from the madness. A taste of freedom, where we aren't bombarded with urges and cravings. I've come to see it as a true gift because I can let my brain heal and do things I enjoy without constantly thinking about pmo and anything of that nature. I've been digging into things that I love to do these last 2 days. Things I loved before pmo blunted my emotions and happiness. Really enjoying it. Looking forward to the rest of this week. Hope all of you are well and having success with your reboot attempts.