I want to live.

[tay97]

Day 12 No P (Day 26 since I started the fight and journal)

I was looking through 9gag.com because I needed some laughs and holy shit it's a mine field there. So much porn in the funny section, and in the comments people also post memes or gifs that are basically porn. I feel a pull towards it. It's brutal. Need to get off this site and the internet in general.

I want a girlfriend.

 

[TryingHarder]

Yes, it sometimes seems that porn and erotica are everywhere. Doesn't help that there are so many avenues to see this stuff, even when you're just surfing for whatever.

 

[Anotheronehere]

¿Creeis que es un error grave ver un torso en bañador en IG? (Estando yo en modo duro, sin M ni O) Y verlo con interes no sexual

 

[tay97]

¿Creeis que es un error grave ver un torso en bañador en IG? (Estando yo en modo duro, sin M ni O) Y verlo con interes no sexual

English please.

 

[tay97]

Day 13 No P (Day 27 since I started the fight and journal)

It's really tough rn. I feel the urge to look up P pictures of woman. I feel like a looser without friends and a partner. The little monster sees that I am vulnerable and he wants to get back in. Haha sorry, buddy. Even in this pathetic state of me, you will never be a part of me again.

I also MO'd twice today but it was challenging to get my fantasy in my head going. I feel like I thought of every sexual encounter that I ever had. Maybe this is the reason why I am drifting a little bit to the tought of porn. Interesting.

 

[tay97]

I keep failing with abstaining from digital media and surfing in general. Is anybody else trying the same and what are your experiences?

 

[Simon2]

I made a new years's resolution to stop watching any videos on facebook (it was a huge timesink before) and have pretty much kept to it. It's really helped me. So maybe choosing ONE thing other than porn of course that you waste a lot of time on and make a resolution to not look it up anymore?

 

[TryingHarder]

I keep failing with abstaining from digital media and surfing in general. Does anybody else is trying the same and what are your experiences?

This is really common - the entire world is mildly (or strongly) addicted to the internet. I do my best to limit my time loitering on the internet, and it's not easy. I even find coming to this forum too often a bit of a problem!

One thing that I am totally strict about is turning off all screens at least 30 minutes before bed and never looking at my cell phone first thing in the morning. Maybe try to limit your time on the internet to specific tasks (banking, online shopping, reading news) and then when the task is done, log off. Otherwise, the endless scrolling and browsing can be (at best) a real time-waster and (at worse) could lead back to porn.

I can recommend a book called The Digital Diet by Daniel Sieberg.

 

[ADFECTATIO]

Maybe have a look at the stuff from Cal Newport. I would recommend reading "Deep Work" before "Digital Minimalism".
There is an Easyway book by Allen Carr for this topic as well, which I am reading at the moment "Smart Phone, Dumb Phone".

 

[tay97]

This is really common - the entire world is mildly (or strongly) addicted to the internet. I do my best to limit my time loitering on the internet, and it's not easy. I even find coming to this forum too often a bit of a problem!

One thing that I am totally strict about is turning off all screens at least 30 minutes before bed and never looking at my cell phone first thing in the morning. Maybe try to limit your time on the internet to specific tasks (banking, online shopping, reading news) and then when the task is done, log off. Otherwise, the endless scrolling and browsing can be (at best) a real time-waster and (at worse) could lead back to porn.

I can recommend a book called The Digital Diet by Daniel Sieberg.

Literally everything requires the use of the internet nowadays. Humans are not made for this kind of information overload. We have the exact same body as the first homo sapiens ~ 300.000 years ago.

Thanks for the reminder that I can use a timer. I will do that from now on. And thanks for the book recommendation, I will look into it!

 

[Recovery Will Come]

I keep failing with abstaining from digital media and surfing in general. Is anybody else trying the same and what are your experiences?

I definitely will advise to delete social media… I would have never gotten far in my reboot with out deleting every social media app… Only use YouTube and created my separate YouTube account specifically for the my reboot and only motivational videos and music…. Trust me that works wonders

 

[tay97]

Maybe have a look at the stuff from Cal Newport. I would recommend reading "Deep Work" before "Digital Minimalism".
There is an Easyway book by Allen Carr for this topic as well, which I am reading at the moment "Smart Phone, Dumb Phone".

I have seen some interviews of Newport. Good stuff.

I already switched to a dumpphone over a month ago, but thanks, nevertheless!

 

[tay97]

I definitely will advise to delete social media… I would have never gotten far in my reboot with out deleting every social media app… Only use YouTube and created my separate YouTube account specifically for the my reboot and only motivational videos and music…. Trust me that works wonders

I agree 100%. There is no way around it. I still have an YouTube account but I use the Unhook extension which blocks suggestions (Very helpful!). Other than that, I don't have anything else, but I keep browsing reddit and 9gag without an account for instance.

 

[tay97]

Day 14 No P (Day 28 since I started the fight and journal)

Two weeks of no p. The second week was more challenging. The little monster inside my head tried his best to lure me back into the rot. That means that the reboot works and the cleaning of my brain has begun. I am free of this shit and I love this. There is not one single pro argument for consuming porn but countless con arguments for why it destroys every aspect of your life. Never going back. Freedom feels fantastic.

 

[tay97]

I was looking for phone sex as I thought that it isn't harmful the way pics, videos or sexting are. Couldn't find anyone on the internet so I just MO'ed. I think it is just as bad as the other things. The little monster is desperately wants back in. I need to be more mindful.

 

[tay97]

I am going to change the course of my reboot once again. This time back to NO PMO /Hard Mode.

The constant thoughts that I had about woman and their bodies on the streets or in the gym in the last 2 weeks ... I just can't take this anymore. It's so frustrating to see all these beautiful woman, just for me to go home, be lonely and sexually frustrated and eventually jerk off (without porn). I am objectifying them and it's not good for my mind.

I need to change. I am just afraid to to something stupid while on hard mode, like hooking up with some stranger just for sex.

 

[tay97]

Day 15 No P
Day 01 No MO
(Day 29 since I started the fight and journal)

I went for a walk this morning and read a little while sitting in the sun. I was very horny. A lot of sexual thoughts. At home I was browsing some 9gag and I came across SFW pictures of girls. Then, I looked them up on google until I realized that this behaviour is bad. I have blocked this site now for good.

I keep fantasizing about literally every woman I see outside. Did anybody else struggle with this too? And when did it get better? What can I do other than abstaining from PMO to not be such a creep?

 

[tay97]

Day 16 No P
Day 02 No MO
(Day 30 since I started the fight and journal)

Crazy dreams and thoughts about sex mainly with same-sex. Also, some loose thoughts about hooking up with someone through an app. I have to remember why I gave away my smartphone in the first place. These things never made me happy midterm and they devalue other people as sexual objects that I could use whenever I want. This is a bad.

You want sex? Go out and meet people, get to know them and develop a natural desire for real intimacy. It's neither good nor healthy to go on an app, exchange nude photos within 10 minutes and meet someone just for sexual pleasure, only to go home depressed.

 

[tay97]

Day 18 No P
Day 04 No MO
(Day 32 since I started the fight and journal)

Feeling better.

 

[tay97]

Day 19 No P
Day 05 No MO
(Day 33 since I started the fight and journal)

Horny like a bull in the mornings with a lot of thoughts about sex, fantasies and scenarios. Much more calm during the day.