OK, man, I'll give it a try. Thanks for trying to help.
Yes, you're right, we all know how this goes. Why not give in and indulge completely in pleasure without giving a fuck about anything else? Because deep down inside I know this is not what I want from my life. I believe most of us here have this struggle, a part of us doesn't want to quit. But the problem with me is that I haven't figure out a way to stay away from this shit porn for longer. I relapse under 10 days, it's ridiculous.
Hey man, thanks for suggestions. I appreciate the support.
Hey man, I appreciate the help. You know, I've been thinking for a long time to seek professional help but (shout out to @forceisstrong2 for the book), I've read a part of The War of Art and I have learned a new term, Resistance. I'm very positive now that my Resistance is very strong. I know I should've looked for therapy help a long time ago. But I guess I need someone who specializes in trauma/PTSD type of stuff, you know. Because that's the root of my addictions and shit life. A human being has two "environments": Household and "everybody else", the social life, friends, relationships, school etc whatever you want to call it. The part with "everybody else" for me was a disaster all my life. I was bullied, I was unable to connect etc. And this has created a PTSD, a trauma sort of thing.
I know, man. I know I need help. I'm 31 and a wreck. Soon to be 32... and a wreck. I believe it is a combination of my brain (maybe I'm on the spectrum but it's just maybe cause I am not a doctor), then how people treated me and then ultimately my fault. And the result is an almost 32 years old bitter, depressed. This is not how I envisioned my life at 16. What the fuck happened, man?We are all very good at finding stuff on the internet. If you use some of those skills you've honed hunting for P, then I am confident you can find someone to help you with your mental health who you're comfortable with. Not sure where you live. Here this resource was really helpful for me:
Find Counselling, Therapists, Psychologists - Psychology Today Canada
Browse our extensive counselling directory of the best Counselling, Therapists and Psychologists in Canada.www.psychologytoday.com
I imagine similar directories exist in other places. I like that I could sort by type of therapy and type of issue I am facing.
I like this @Escapeandnevercomeback. There are probably reasons why all of us are here, and maybe how we get out of this is looking into this stuff. Seeking help from a professional is a good thing and can be really helpful. I admit I was very defensive the first time someone floated the idea for me, but I'm really glad I sought our a psychiatrist and started looking into what went wrong in my life.
Hey, man, I know you're right. I don't even know why I don't want to seek professional help. I know, I have this big fear of opening up but why? Why is it so strong? Why am I doing this to myself? Maybe I know the answer: It's maybe because I'm almost 32 and immature, unstable and acting like a teenager still? And I'm afraid of being exposed like that? But anyway, thanks for support.
I know, man. I know you're right. I know I should've done this already long ago, years ago. It's clear I don't know how to do this myself. It's clear I'm lost, I'm dealing with trauma, PTSD or whatever it is. Maybe I have some disorders that I don't know about. I know that when I was a kid I showed Autism symptoms. In my late 20's I looked back at my childhood and discovered that but I'm not diagnosed so I won't refer to myself as on the spectrum out of respect for people who have the diagnose. I'm not a doctor. But what I can say for sure is that this "disorder" or whatever the fuck it was had a big impact on my childhood. As a result, I was bullied and isolated. This created a trauma. My addictions are a result of all this. At 14 I was masturbating daily to flashbacks of porn and fantasies created by using porn as a form of self-medication. But anyway, I know you're right, I know I need help. Thanks for the support.