You are now identified using your real name with these pictures? Would you want a future employer looking at them? Am I missing something?
Basically yeah, I don't generally put my whole name out on any platform, but it wouldn't take much looking into to find it.Sorry I misunderstood. Was your identity revealed online with the images?
Oh I didn't tell him those requirements I believe giving someone an ultimatum is unhealthy and painful, having been on the other end of one. If you're not able to be with a person as they are, you should leave.Your demands are understandable, but most would take time for anyone to offer...as trust is reestablished. Impatience and ultimatums are sometimes a way to push others away.
Yes, addiction has been described as “cunning and baffling.“ I am sure you can agree with that description.I've been away because I had a baby! A precious little one that I feel very blessed to have in my life now. In regards to my addiction here is how this process has been. At 4 months pregnent I relapsed on porn. PMO. *Reminder to change settings in Steam to block nudity.* This may be a substitute? But it's completely porn at the same time, I'm genuinely upset that it's allowed there. As for myself? I couldn't believe it. I had felt so assured not only after 4 years of sobriety but also being pregnant and feeling such a strong desire to be a good example to my child (even in the womb.) I've forgiven myself now but at the time I felt so much shame. It was the new year and I was feeling so very much stress being pregnant and what the upcoming year would bring. Also the stress my partner and I were going through together in preparing for the child to enter our lives both physically and emotionally.
After I relapsed in January I vowed never again. There's too much at stake now. If I had a girl, what kind of world was I contributing to? I would never want her to be exploited the way I have been and the way I've exploited others through my addiction. And a boy? What example would I be setting? What world would I be helping to create that he would grow up in? (Granted I am aware there is no gender or sex limitation to any of these issues.)
I thought if I had a girl it would strengthen my resolve like never before. Make recovery easier. He's a boy. And I find myself not with increased ease but with increased pressure to be a great example. So that my home can be porn-free. So that I can have these conversations from sobriety and show with assurety the joys of living porn-free. I know: I'm expecting too much perfection as usual. Not just of myself but of the future in general. It's an ideal. And I'm okay with that, but I should also be prepared for the worst, that I may become so stressed one day that I relapse again. And I should be able to use that to continue growing. Addiction is very real and it blinds me.
According to PornHub's 2022 Year in Review, 36% of their worldwide viewership was female. This is an increase of 51% since their 2014 Year in Review. That means millions more women are viewing pornography today than they did less than 10 years ago.
Yet despite this astronomical increase, there has been little research about women and pornography consumption.
To answer the question, “What factors influence female pornography use?," Crystal Renaud Day, a pioneer in the field of female pornography addiction recovery and founder of SheRecovery, has created this anonymous research questionnaire.
Did the survey, was really interesting, can't wait to see the results! Any other ladies that may see this: take it if you want to help the research!
It has truly been an honor getting to know you and know your similar conviction of values, despite the pull of addiction (I know the pain of this.) I definitely have my own struggles, repeated and new, but yes, I continue to change everyday. And I see that you do too. You also do have lots of support and I'll always be here <3After catching up on your consistently substantial entries today, I feel foolish to have fallen behind on them for so many months. Yes, we've been communicating elsewhere all this time, but I ought to be more consistent with this, for my sake and yours.
The ways in which you kept proclaiming turning points in your life reminds me of how I've frequently written similar material in my old journals. At the present, a little over 2 years after beginning my first journal here and exactly 1 year after you created this thread, I believe that I haven't changed enough. I've received the impression that things really did change for you though, and that you were the primary factor overall.
I may not have faith (not yet at least), but I have plenty of people in my corner, and that includes you. Being reminded of the depth of your character, your accomplishments, your values, etc., it's been a great help