Enough is enough

Galatians51

Galatians51

Active Member
day 20

Beautiful1973 said:
@Galatians51 I absolutely love the Consider before Consuming podcast by Fight the New Drug, it’s a mix of personal accounts, science, facts, but also the darker side of porn like sexual exploitation and sex trafficking, it’s really educational and I could never go back to being ‘OK’ with porn after what I’ve learnt.
I’ll put the link to the episode Gabe Deem did, as it’s the one that really hit home with my man, but they are all fantastic and I’ve listened to every single one over the last few months.
podcasts.apple.com

‎Consider Before Consuming: Gabe Deem: Founder of Reboot Nation, Activist, & Former Porn Addict on Apple Podcasts

‎Show Consider Before Consuming, Ep Gabe Deem: Founder of Reboot Nation, Activist, & Former Porn Addict - 3 Nov 2020
podcasts.apple.com
Click to expand...

Just listened to this episode, thanks @Beautiful1973

I think I'm somewhat of an odd case, considering that I grew up as a teenager with high speed internet and yet i never used porn to watch others having sex (actually I avoided seeing any of content like that)... for some reason I'm more like the guys that Gabe mentions in that episode that grew up before the internet and only looked at playboy magazines... however doing so on the internet allows you to look at a lot more of those images, and a lot faster, and video... but I think I'm also odd in the sense that I always wanted to quit and would regularly go for anywhere of 1 week to 6 months of no usage, but then find myself falling back to it.

I guess I wish there was more information about people that struggled like have... it seems like most of the information out there is for people that really went hardcore into porn and suffered physically because of it. The one article on BYOP that I referenced in an earlier post mentions that intermittent usage with large gaps in between could be somehow more addictive or harder to break the habit of than constant use... it doesn't mention any sort of advice for a person in that scenario - I want to know what is there - if anything - that I can do to quit repeating that cycle... Maybe I'm already doing all that can be done, limiting my technology (only using a dumb phone and then my computer at work), not watching any movies/tv, and being on this forum for accountability. I also don't know if that should be a permanent lifestyle change, or if after a few years be able to go back to using technology more. I'm willing to be the odd guy that doesn't have a smart phone and doesn't watch tv, if that means staying free.

I want to know if what I'm doing is right, or if there is something more that I should do, or if somebody in a scenario like mine has been able to do something different and succeed with.

Maybe there aren't answers for me, but this is what I'm wondering about.
 
Galatians51

Galatians51

Active Member
3 weeks - day 21

I have a 1 year old, last night his sleep schedule got messed up and he was crying off and on in the night, making it tough for me to sleep. I think that caused me to have some crazy dreams, and then waking up from them with some thoughts and urges. I didn't do anything about the urges, but it was just annoying.

Hope you all have a great weekend.
 
Galatians51

Galatians51

Active Member
day 24

Once again with the crazy dreams last night.

When I wake up in the night after those dreams it really makes me want to look at something, and as much as i'd like to think it's been my ability to resist the temptation, I think it's more because I don't have any smart technology in the room.

Then when I wake up in the morning I feel totally normal, and surprised by how I felt during the night.

If anybody has a solution to turning dreams off let me know, lol.
 
Galatians51

Galatians51

Active Member
day 26

no crazy dreams (at least none that i can remember) the last two nights. That's been very nice.

I was on facebook briefly yesterday and I probably shouldn't have but I watched a few reels and there were two very suggestive videos on there (work out videos in very skimpy clothing)... they had nothing to do with the original video I clicked on, so it was really annoying. When the first video came up I immediately clicked to the next video, I figured it was a fluke, but then the second one came on, so i just exited facebook altogether. It didn't trip me up or anything, but I know that if this was a few weeks ago before starting all that i'm doing now, that probably would have been enough to send me down the PMO path. Once again it seems like the system is rigged against anybody trying to quit this habit.

I feel more determined than ever to stay clean. I think i'm already starting to feel a difference - like those video clips yesterday should have really messed with me more than they did, but I think the whole mindset shift I've had and practical steps I've taken are helping a lot. I know the research says it takes longer to get the deltaFosB and all the neural pathways to "clear up" but I think I'm already feeling the shift.

Gotta stay vigilant.
 
Beautiful1973

Beautiful1973

Active Member
Galatians51 said:
I was on facebook briefly yesterday and I probably shouldn't have but I watched a few reels and there were two very suggestive videos on there (work out videos in very skimpy clothing)... they had nothing to do with the original video I clicked on, so it was really annoying.
Click to expand...
Apparently FB has an algorithm, which will show you the 'type' of content based on your preferences and tendencies, so it might be something to be wary of when your scrolling. I know personally, I have really stepped away from social media over the last few months, as it became a total brain drain!!!!
Well done on not letting it trip you up;)
 
Galatians51

Galatians51

Active Member
Day 27 of no pmo no mo


Beautiful1973 said:
Apparently FB has an algorithm, which will show you the 'type' of content based on your preferences and tendencies, so it might be something to be wary of when your scrolling. I know personally, I have really stepped away from social media over the last few months, as it became a total brain drain!!!!
Well done on not letting it trip you up;)
Click to expand...

I totally agree - I stay off social media for the most part, I use FB occasionally for work and for marketplace... every now and then I'll browse through the feed. You're right about the algorithm, but I think beyond that, certain stuff might just get promoted to specific demographics because they know it will get more views.... Like cat videos for ladies over 60, or booty workout videos for guys 20-40 yrs old. Anyway, it's good advice to stay away form social media as much as you can.
 
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Galatians51

Galatians51

Active Member
Day 34 (Got busy yesterday and forgot to post)

Well last night was awkward, woke up with from a wet dream... feels like I was violated.

BTW... this forum is probably the only "place" on the planet where you can write publicly about having a wet dream and not feel like you're committing a crime. I guess once you cross the bridge of admitting you have a porn problem, it doesn't feel like you have much left to hide.
 
ImBroken

ImBroken

Member
@Galatians51 - I am a new Significant Other to a P addict/ Sex addict. I think he is on day 42 or something. I also am a recovering alcoholic and addict (33 years). Though the addictions are different - the one day at a time mantra is so important. I can clearly remember my Day 11 of sobriety. It was the day my sponsor said the following, “Anyone can do anything for 24 hours…just wake up the next day and fight for that 24 hours again” - I try to keep it that simple. Some days that is my only purpose…some months. I wish you well in your recovery…you are human - but you can overcome this…your strength and knowledge will prevail.
 
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