Hope your day got better. At least your job lets you interact with people. Make lots of eye contact, and exchange smiles, and you won’t feel so lonely.
A Long time due battle that I need to stop ignoring
- Thread starter Trisquel
- Start date
Hi guys.
I relapsed yesterday.
I was feeling very lonely and tired, ans I M to a P substitute.
I don't even want to think about it, I feel horrible right now. Can I overcome this addiction? Now it seems I can't get through two weeks without relapsing.
Feeling quite low right now.
Anyway, let's have a PMO free day.
See tou tomorrow guys
I relapsed yesterday.
I was feeling very lonely and tired, ans I M to a P substitute.
I don't even want to think about it, I feel horrible right now. Can I overcome this addiction? Now it seems I can't get through two weeks without relapsing.
Feeling quite low right now.
Anyway, let's have a PMO free day.
See tou tomorrow guys
cookiemonster
Active Member
Sending you love mate. All of us on this forum have been where you are, you're not alone.
All we can do is find meaning in trying to get up one more time than we fall.
You never know when your next streak will be the one which sets you free for life.
Be extra careful for a while, as you start your new streak. Don’t be hard on yourself. Good luck!
Thank you for your words, guys.
Let's just keep trying.
Yesterday was just fine. I also have contacted some therapy group that may help me.
Today I commit to a day of no P, no subtitues and no fantasies. No touching my dick unless in the shower or in the toilet.
Also, this last relapse made me think that it is also important that I work on myself during my reboot, not only on quitting P. Specially to have a good and healthy social live, and better eating habits.
So let's take care of that. Today I will to put more flyers to find more people to play music with. I will also watch better my alimentation. I won't become obsessed, but I will try to eat more healthy stuff, more fruit and vegetables, and less junk food.
More people to play music with, eating healthier.
Apart from that, I can focus on learning dutch, playing drums, and reading. Alongside with my work these seem like good projects for my summer.
I usually put very high goals for me, which leads me to be frustrated and abandon my projects, so for now I'm taking it easy and just doing what I can, and trying to enjoy it.
That's all for today, see you the next time
Let's just keep trying.
Yesterday was just fine. I also have contacted some therapy group that may help me.
Today I commit to a day of no P, no subtitues and no fantasies. No touching my dick unless in the shower or in the toilet.
Also, this last relapse made me think that it is also important that I work on myself during my reboot, not only on quitting P. Specially to have a good and healthy social live, and better eating habits.
So let's take care of that. Today I will to put more flyers to find more people to play music with. I will also watch better my alimentation. I won't become obsessed, but I will try to eat more healthy stuff, more fruit and vegetables, and less junk food.
More people to play music with, eating healthier.
Apart from that, I can focus on learning dutch, playing drums, and reading. Alongside with my work these seem like good projects for my summer.
I usually put very high goals for me, which leads me to be frustrated and abandon my projects, so for now I'm taking it easy and just doing what I can, and trying to enjoy it.
That's all for today, see you the next time
Last edited:
Hi guys.
I'm at work right now, my free days were fine.
I commit to one day of no P, no fantasies and no subtitues.
I have to remind myself each day of the damage this addiction caused to my life and that I want to get out of it.
That's all for today, see you tomorrow guys!
I'm at work right now, my free days were fine.
I commit to one day of no P, no fantasies and no subtitues.
I have to remind myself each day of the damage this addiction caused to my life and that I want to get out of it.
That's all for today, see you tomorrow guys!
Hello people. I haven't posted in a while.
These weeks have been difficult.
I have relapsed several times. I feel like I've taken back my progress a good deal. but at the same time I feel that doesn't matters. I only have to get up one more time and continue walking, letting this addiction behind.
That's all that matters in the end.
I have realized that is a lot more tiring to relapse and beeing consumed by this addiction than commiting to my recovery and to taking care of myself. Even if it doesn't feel like that in the moment!
I have also realized that this addiction only leaves me empty and sorrowfull, while commiting to my life fullfills me, and even if it feels difficult and tiring at the moment, it is rewarding.
I have also learned that one thing is what I think with my rational head, but that my monkey-brain is just blind to it and I have to be carefull about that! (that's not me speaking, that's my monkey brain acting.... and so on).
Nothing that I didn't knew, but I needed to be remainded of.
Also, I have realized that I have been in a very complicated situation these last years. I haven't been well mentally, and I have managed the best I could.
On monday I went to a psychologist and talking to him I realized that I don't speak about things that happend to me and that really affected me with anybody. That surprised me.
I'm not well, and I need to get help.
Good things is that there are some people around me that can help me and I've been opening up a little bit more.
I have options to go to a therapy group, and some options to get affordable profesional help.
So, let's take care of ourselves.
I feel kinda weak now, so let's take it easy. For the moment I'm just planning a morning routine.
Waking up, shower, breakfast/cofee and then, reading, studying dutch.
I won't use my phone nor my computer before 12pm.
(after that hour I can work in my computer in my paperwork, posting here, and other stuff).
Also, I think it would be usefull not to use my computer for recreational pourposes before 19hs.
And that's it. I think that alone will give me a lot of more structure that I need.
Let's really work on it for a couple of weeks.
I think is better than having too much rules to fullfill.
and of course, no P, no subtitutes and no fantasies.
Always.
See you next time, guys
These weeks have been difficult.
I have relapsed several times. I feel like I've taken back my progress a good deal. but at the same time I feel that doesn't matters. I only have to get up one more time and continue walking, letting this addiction behind.
That's all that matters in the end.
I have realized that is a lot more tiring to relapse and beeing consumed by this addiction than commiting to my recovery and to taking care of myself. Even if it doesn't feel like that in the moment!
I have also realized that this addiction only leaves me empty and sorrowfull, while commiting to my life fullfills me, and even if it feels difficult and tiring at the moment, it is rewarding.
I have also learned that one thing is what I think with my rational head, but that my monkey-brain is just blind to it and I have to be carefull about that! (that's not me speaking, that's my monkey brain acting.... and so on).
Nothing that I didn't knew, but I needed to be remainded of.
Also, I have realized that I have been in a very complicated situation these last years. I haven't been well mentally, and I have managed the best I could.
On monday I went to a psychologist and talking to him I realized that I don't speak about things that happend to me and that really affected me with anybody. That surprised me.
I'm not well, and I need to get help.
Good things is that there are some people around me that can help me and I've been opening up a little bit more.
I have options to go to a therapy group, and some options to get affordable profesional help.
So, let's take care of ourselves.
I feel kinda weak now, so let's take it easy. For the moment I'm just planning a morning routine.
Waking up, shower, breakfast/cofee and then, reading, studying dutch.
I won't use my phone nor my computer before 12pm.
(after that hour I can work in my computer in my paperwork, posting here, and other stuff).
Also, I think it would be usefull not to use my computer for recreational pourposes before 19hs.
And that's it. I think that alone will give me a lot of more structure that I need.
Let's really work on it for a couple of weeks.
I think is better than having too much rules to fullfill.
and of course, no P, no subtitutes and no fantasies.
Always.
See you next time, guys
the_mountain_goat
Active Member
Hey Trisquel.
Thanks for your honesty and for sharing it with us.
So sorry this has been difficult for you. Indeed, weirdly, we've been through challenging times lately...! Maybe the planets or something. Or the heat?
Very glad you've started seeing a psychologist, it's a very good and brave idea! Not easy to recognize we need help. It's so helpful to have someone whose only job is to listen to you and help you guide your thinking. Emotions, feelings etc are difficult to handle on your own and it's also not something we can always talk/ask our friends.
BE STRONG! We will make it.
Thanks for your honesty and for sharing it with us.
So sorry this has been difficult for you. Indeed, weirdly, we've been through challenging times lately...! Maybe the planets or something. Or the heat?
Very glad you've started seeing a psychologist, it's a very good and brave idea! Not easy to recognize we need help. It's so helpful to have someone whose only job is to listen to you and help you guide your thinking. Emotions, feelings etc are difficult to handle on your own and it's also not something we can always talk/ask our friends.
BE STRONG! We will make it.
Rooting for you man. I think for people who have really big hardships (like many of us on the forum), it is easy to not see just how hard we have it, and then be harsh with how we judge ourselves each day. I believe that in these cases the addiction is very much a symptom of the depth of those struggles, rather than only the other way around.
You’re doing the right thing by trying to understand yourself more and seeking professional support. You deserve it! Best wishes.
You’re doing the right thing by trying to understand yourself more and seeking professional support. You deserve it! Best wishes.
Thank you a lot guys for your kind words, @the_mountain_goat , @TypeN , @Androg . The support and understanding I get from this forum is great.
Right now I'm making a city trip to visit some friends and have some short holidays.
I plan just to spend time with my friends and going to a city festival with them.
Is going to be 5 days, I hope I can relax a bit!
I commit to another day of no P, no subtitiea and no fantasies. Let's get rid of this shit.
Still feeling low these days, thinking a lot about my past and where I am right now. I've recognised I'm not okay and I'm looking for help, as I said earlier.
I went to see a psychologist, but it was only one time thing, so I'm still looking for professional help.
There are some good options I can consider when I get back from my holidays, though. I'm already enrolled in a therapy group that will start in september, hopefully that'll help. There are also some organizations where you can drop by to have a chat, and once I've figured out my health insurance there's a medical center with recourses for psychological help.
Well, enough thinking about my shit, haha, now let's meet my friends and spend a nice time with them!
See you next time, guys
Right now I'm making a city trip to visit some friends and have some short holidays.
I plan just to spend time with my friends and going to a city festival with them.
Is going to be 5 days, I hope I can relax a bit!
I commit to another day of no P, no subtitiea and no fantasies. Let's get rid of this shit.
Still feeling low these days, thinking a lot about my past and where I am right now. I've recognised I'm not okay and I'm looking for help, as I said earlier.
I went to see a psychologist, but it was only one time thing, so I'm still looking for professional help.
There are some good options I can consider when I get back from my holidays, though. I'm already enrolled in a therapy group that will start in september, hopefully that'll help. There are also some organizations where you can drop by to have a chat, and once I've figured out my health insurance there's a medical center with recourses for psychological help.
Well, enough thinking about my shit, haha, now let's meet my friends and spend a nice time with them!
See you next time, guys
Hi guys!
Yesterday I had a great time here. Just hanging out with friends, spending time together and enjoying the city festival.
I feel still sad and weak sometimes, but luckily it doesn't prevent me from having a good time and enjoying the company of my friends.
I try not to be too much in my head, and enjoy these days, which has been working out somehow. When being with them I don't focus so much on my problems and on how they can help me as on spending a good time together, which is a huge improvement compared to how I was behaving some years ago.
I'm heading out now to meet my friends, is good to be back here.
See you later guys!
PD: P has not much place in my mind these days. Still, Is important to commit to another day free of that crap!
Yesterday I had a great time here. Just hanging out with friends, spending time together and enjoying the city festival.
I feel still sad and weak sometimes, but luckily it doesn't prevent me from having a good time and enjoying the company of my friends.
I try not to be too much in my head, and enjoy these days, which has been working out somehow. When being with them I don't focus so much on my problems and on how they can help me as on spending a good time together, which is a huge improvement compared to how I was behaving some years ago.
I'm heading out now to meet my friends, is good to be back here.
See you later guys!
PD: P has not much place in my mind these days. Still, Is important to commit to another day free of that crap!
the_mountain_goat
Active Member
Awesome to read Trisquel! Still, keep in mind "when, in the coming days/week, might I be triggered?" - if you see a "quieter" time ahead where you might need to be vigilant 
Hi guys.
Still enjoying the time with my friends here.
Yesterday and today I'm feeling more sad. I have to be careful as it could lead to relapse. The important thing is to take care of myself and not to indulge in food or compulsive social media use to cope with my difficult feelings.
It also helps to get our of my head.
Well, I commit to one day of no P, no subtitues and no fantasies. I commit to taking care of myself and not running away from my feelings nor my life. P drags my life away from me, as well as P subtitues. Is so much more fulfilling to commit to real life.
See you next time, guys
Still enjoying the time with my friends here.
Yesterday and today I'm feeling more sad. I have to be careful as it could lead to relapse. The important thing is to take care of myself and not to indulge in food or compulsive social media use to cope with my difficult feelings.
It also helps to get our of my head.
Well, I commit to one day of no P, no subtitues and no fantasies. I commit to taking care of myself and not running away from my feelings nor my life. P drags my life away from me, as well as P subtitues. Is so much more fulfilling to commit to real life.
See you next time, guys
Thanks!Awesome to read Trisquel! Still, keep in mind "when, in the coming days/week, might I be triggered?" - if you see a "quieter" time ahead where you might need to be vigilant
Probably when I get back home and I have a free day with not much to do. Is a dangerous situation.
My plan is to get out of my house as early as I can, and spend some time visiting another city, a museum, or something like that, even if I don't feel like it .
Also, to go running outside, and to play music helps.
And not being on my phone at all as well.
I will make a plan for the following day before going to sleep to help me structure my day, and I'm still committing to my morning routine of no phone/reading before 12.
Cheers!
Hi guys.
Back to work today, I'm in a good mood.
I committed today to my morning routine (reading/doing things around the house and not using my phone until 12pm) and it went quite well.
Maybe it'll be easier to set the time untill 11pm, then I still have plenty of time to read and do stuff, and I have more time to do the things I need to do in my computer (paperwork and stuff).
Now, I commit to one day of no P, no subtitues and no fantasies. I also commit to take care.of myself and help me in my situation, I commit with real life today.
Let's leave this monster behind.
See you next time, guys
Back to work today, I'm in a good mood.
I committed today to my morning routine (reading/doing things around the house and not using my phone until 12pm) and it went quite well.
Maybe it'll be easier to set the time untill 11pm, then I still have plenty of time to read and do stuff, and I have more time to do the things I need to do in my computer (paperwork and stuff).
Now, I commit to one day of no P, no subtitues and no fantasies. I also commit to take care.of myself and help me in my situation, I commit with real life today.
Let's leave this monster behind.
See you next time, guys
Hi guys!
This last days have been an emotional rollercoaster.
I've been opening up a little bit to friends and people around me and I'm starting to look for help to solve my problems, which I found out ia more difficult than what it sounds.
I'm committing to my morning routine and it feels good. It gives me more space mentally, and is easier not to use my phone during the day.
Anyway, I commit to one day of no P, no fantasies and no substitutes. Is important I remember each day how badly this addiction has affected my life and how much I have to gain.
See you next time, guys
This last days have been an emotional rollercoaster.
I've been opening up a little bit to friends and people around me and I'm starting to look for help to solve my problems, which I found out ia more difficult than what it sounds.
I'm committing to my morning routine and it feels good. It gives me more space mentally, and is easier not to use my phone during the day.
Anyway, I commit to one day of no P, no fantasies and no substitutes. Is important I remember each day how badly this addiction has affected my life and how much I have to gain.
See you next time, guys
Hi guys.
I'm not doing really good at the moment, and I'm struggling with difficult feelings and thoughts.
I'm trying to make an appointment to see my doctor and get some help.
Idk what else to say.
Even today I will commit to a day of no P, no subtitues and no fantasies. No touching my dick unless in the shower, and I'll be specially careful when going to sleep and when waking up.
See you guys next time
I'm not doing really good at the moment, and I'm struggling with difficult feelings and thoughts.
I'm trying to make an appointment to see my doctor and get some help.
Idk what else to say.
Even today I will commit to a day of no P, no subtitues and no fantasies. No touching my dick unless in the shower, and I'll be specially careful when going to sleep and when waking up.
See you guys next time