A Long time due battle that I need to stop ignoring
- Thread starter Trisquel
- Start date
Thanks!
Thanks! Will doYou have this @Trisquel, just do what got to do, to get through to the other side.
Hi guys!
I'm gonna head now to the restaurant I have a trial day with.
I've been having quite some urges and have been feeling depressed as well.
I did some M on the morning, but when I realized what I was doing I immediately stoped.
Tiring days, I hope everything turns out alright.
I commit to no P, M, or O, no fantasies and no subtitues, only for today. Specially no fantasies and M, which qre very easy to fall into. I will be specially careful in the morning, when waking up, and in the afternoon, when going to sleep.
I won't touch my dick unless peeing or in the shower.
I will also try to stay away from YouTube and from junk food as much as i can(although I've been "relapsing in these two for a while)
See you tomorrow guys, just another day at this flight.
P.S: 27 days no P
I'm gonna head now to the restaurant I have a trial day with.
I've been having quite some urges and have been feeling depressed as well.
I did some M on the morning, but when I realized what I was doing I immediately stoped.
Tiring days, I hope everything turns out alright.
I commit to no P, M, or O, no fantasies and no subtitues, only for today. Specially no fantasies and M, which qre very easy to fall into. I will be specially careful in the morning, when waking up, and in the afternoon, when going to sleep.
I won't touch my dick unless peeing or in the shower.
I will also try to stay away from YouTube and from junk food as much as i can(although I've been "relapsing in these two for a while)
See you tomorrow guys, just another day at this flight.
P.S: 27 days no P
Thanks! I appreciate the support, TypeNGood luck today Trisquel. Sorry that you have been feeling worn down, but good job catching yourself this morning.
the_mountain_goat
Active Member
Hope the job works out!!
Hi guys.
Yesterday I had a curious experience. I had a moment in the day were I could have relapsed. I was feeling pretty low, and depressed, and I really wanted to go through the internet to relapse.
I was going to so it, as I had done before, bit I took a moment to think about it. I knew that If I did that I would regret it and it would let me empty. In the end I went out of my house to meet a friend. It was a very conscious decision that took really an effort.
Well, today I just felt depressed. I think I'm going to have a serious talk with my parents about things that happend in the past. Not looking forward to that, but maybe it'll help me clear out some feelings.
Also, I've lost my wallet today. Is very shity. I hope I can find it tomorrow. Otherwise I'll have to go to the police.
Anyway, tomorrow I compromise to a no P, no substitutes and no fantasies day. No MO, and no touching my dick unless peeing or in the shower. Specially in the morning!
Tomorrow I'll take a shower, get some breakfast, and after that I'm going to look for my wallet. I hope I can find it.
See you tomorrow guys!
PS: 1 month without P (30days!)
Yesterday I had a curious experience. I had a moment in the day were I could have relapsed. I was feeling pretty low, and depressed, and I really wanted to go through the internet to relapse.
I was going to so it, as I had done before, bit I took a moment to think about it. I knew that If I did that I would regret it and it would let me empty. In the end I went out of my house to meet a friend. It was a very conscious decision that took really an effort.
Well, today I just felt depressed. I think I'm going to have a serious talk with my parents about things that happend in the past. Not looking forward to that, but maybe it'll help me clear out some feelings.
Also, I've lost my wallet today. Is very shity. I hope I can find it tomorrow. Otherwise I'll have to go to the police.
Anyway, tomorrow I compromise to a no P, no substitutes and no fantasies day. No MO, and no touching my dick unless peeing or in the shower. Specially in the morning!
Tomorrow I'll take a shower, get some breakfast, and after that I'm going to look for my wallet. I hope I can find it.
See you tomorrow guys!
PS: 1 month without P (30days!)
(I wanted to post this yesterday, but I didn't press the "send" button, haha)
Hi!
I found my wallet and I got a job, so that's cool, haha.
Also, I got some urges, and today I gave in to some M and even to indulging myself in a dating website I didn't want to use. I felt very stupid after this, and I could feel the hollowness of it, how my addicted mind was tricking me into these draining behaviours.
So i stoped after a short while and I got out of my house. I was angry, this gave me energy to move away from it.
I commit to no P, no M, no fantasises and no subtitues tomorrow . Also, tomorrow I won't use YouTube. I will commit to that and see what happens.
I will be specially careful in the morning.
That's it for today. See you tomorrow guys!
Hi!
I found my wallet and I got a job, so that's cool, haha.
Also, I got some urges, and today I gave in to some M and even to indulging myself in a dating website I didn't want to use. I felt very stupid after this, and I could feel the hollowness of it, how my addicted mind was tricking me into these draining behaviours.
So i stoped after a short while and I got out of my house. I was angry, this gave me energy to move away from it.
I commit to no P, no M, no fantasises and no subtitues tomorrow . Also, tomorrow I won't use YouTube. I will commit to that and see what happens.
I will be specially careful in the morning.
That's it for today. See you tomorrow guys!
Congratulations on finding the wallet, the new job, and the new insights.
Hi people.
I'm having some serious urges, my mind is wandering off.
I just have to remind myself that these fantasies are delusional, I don't want to relapse, relapsing only makes me feel hollow, horrible, and drained. My adiction tries to enslave me and prevents me for having a healthy, good life.
All the times I relapsed before made me feel sick, there is no reason this time should be different.
I just have to keep that on mind. That's enough thinking, now all that remains is getting to action.
I'm gonna turn off my phone. I'm going to sleep in a few hours.
See you tomorrow guys!
I'm having some serious urges, my mind is wandering off.
I just have to remind myself that these fantasies are delusional, I don't want to relapse, relapsing only makes me feel hollow, horrible, and drained. My adiction tries to enslave me and prevents me for having a healthy, good life.
All the times I relapsed before made me feel sick, there is no reason this time should be different.
I just have to keep that on mind. That's enough thinking, now all that remains is getting to action.
I'm gonna turn off my phone. I'm going to sleep in a few hours.
See you tomorrow guys!
Thank for the support guys, is appreciated.
I made it through the urges yesterday. This morning I struggled with them again. Fantasies and M are dangerous and holding me back. But in the end I managed to get through them and go on with my day.
I commit to one day of no P, no fantaises, no M and no subtitues. I will not touch my dick unless in the shower or peeing. I will be specially careful when going to sleep.
I'm starting to enjoy the struggle of it. Is like when you workout, in the moment you feel like crap, but after it you feel great and stronger. I like to think of it as building my healthiness muscle, or my willpower muscle. Also, I like the idea that I'm now retaining a lot of energy that I can put somewhere else. That is, in the real world, making things I enjoy and connecting with real people, both intimately or not. I hope I can direct all this energy in a healthy sexual way in the near future.
That's all for now, see you tomorrow guys
I made it through the urges yesterday. This morning I struggled with them again. Fantasies and M are dangerous and holding me back. But in the end I managed to get through them and go on with my day.
I commit to one day of no P, no fantaises, no M and no subtitues. I will not touch my dick unless in the shower or peeing. I will be specially careful when going to sleep.
I'm starting to enjoy the struggle of it. Is like when you workout, in the moment you feel like crap, but after it you feel great and stronger. I like to think of it as building my healthiness muscle, or my willpower muscle. Also, I like the idea that I'm now retaining a lot of energy that I can put somewhere else. That is, in the real world, making things I enjoy and connecting with real people, both intimately or not. I hope I can direct all this energy in a healthy sexual way in the near future.
That's all for now, see you tomorrow guys
Just relapsed.
Not with P, but with a dating website. I woke up in the middle of the night doe to mosquito bites, and I went to my phone. I'm also stressed at a situation I have to solve with my work.
I feel quite horrible about it. I was doing so good. I don't understand.
Tomorrow is another day.
Not with P, but with a dating website. I woke up in the middle of the night doe to mosquito bites, and I went to my phone. I'm also stressed at a situation I have to solve with my work.
I feel quite horrible about it. I was doing so good. I don't understand.
Tomorrow is another day.
Blondie
Respected Member
It's okay @Trisquel. Those dating sites are often NOT are friends, promising us things and fantasies as much as porn in some regards.
Just get back up and keep on going
Best
This is all a part of the problem. Porn has become a habit for you, engrained into your neuropathways. Thus, stress + mosquito bites (I need to feel a sense of clam) = porn or something similar. You're confused because it "happened" out of nowhere, almost like you're on autopilot. And that's the truth, you ARE on autopilot. Thus, it takes mediation (or whatever works for you), exercise, and mindfulness to really start to pull back the layers and get an understanding of why you do these things.
Just get back up and keep on going
Best
Have a plan for next time something like that stresses you. You can do it!