A Long time due battle that I need to stop ignoring

[Trisquel]

Hi guys .

I have been quite busy lately.
I'm going to start playing music with a person that I met. It looks like it can be a good musical project, and I'm quite excited about it.

I'm going to start in my new work next week, also looking foward to that. I also got the chance to meet some nice people these days, I'm happy about it.

About my relapse, yes it sucks, but I'm judt going to keep going. I'm on the same track. I think I also have to be more careful with how I eat, and with how I use social media. I've beem cutting down on my usage of YouTube, and I'm considering just cutting it off for good. It takes away too much time, and I don't really use it in a healthy way.
With food, I use it to cope with stress, and that has to change, it's very unhealthy.
I also need to figure out another way of dealing with all the emotions I have. Maybe playing music can help. Also talking with people that care for me. I still haven't talked with my parents about what I wanted to tell them.


Also, I think you are right, @Blondie.
I'm going to set apart 10min from my day to meditate. Just focusing on my breaths and my sensations. Some mindfulness will help me be more aware about my addiction and how it plays with me.
10 mik is very doable. I can set a routine. Maybe 10 min before leaving my house every day. Or before going to work.

Also, I will set a goal of 60days without porn. My longest strike was of 57 days.
It would be grest to reach that number.
Another goal I want to set, closely related, Is to start university without P in my life. I start next September. I want to start this new episode in my life clean.

We keep going, guys, improving every day.
Committing every day and a strict policy with P, fantasies and subtitues is what works best. That why I commit to a no P, no fantasies, and no subtitues tomorrow. I will be specially careful in the morning, when waking up. No touching my dick at all except when peeing and in the shower.


I will post tomorrow again to commit again. Every time I'm in doubt I can come back here to commit, and remember why I'm doing this. I'm doing this because I want to live my life, not waste it in a stupid and draining addiction. So much time wasted... It makes me sad and angry. I wanna break free.

That's all for all,
See you tomorrow guys.

 

[Androg]

Sounds like a fun summer. Make the most of it!

 

[Trisquel]

Hi guys!

I commit today to one day of no P, no substitutes and no fantasies. I won't touch my dick unless peeing or in the shower, and I will be specially careful when going to sleep or waking up, as those are the moments when I have more fantasies.

Now, i'm going to meditate for 10mins.

Today was fine, I was studying dutch, practicing drums and I went around the city. I forgot to post earlier :/ but well, I'm posting now.

See you tomorrow guys! I'll try to commit in the morning.

 

[Trisquel]

Sounds like a fun summer. Make the most of it!

Thanks! I will do my best!

 

[Trisquel]

Hi guys!

I started in my new work yesterday, it was fine, but very tiring. I´m curious to see how it goes at this new place.

This morning I will study a bit, play music and then just go to work.

I commit to one day of no P, no subtitues and no fantasies. I won't touch my dick unless in the shower of peeing, and I will be specially carefull when going to sleep or when waking up.
My goal is to get to university clean! a 60 day strike would be great.

See you tommorrow guys.

 

[Trisquel]

Hi guys.

I did MO this morning, and I feel very fucking angry about it. But well, the day continuous, so let's just to try to make the best out of it. Is a good reminder for me to keep on track. God, I want to get rif of this.

I commit to one day of no P, no fantasies and no subtitues. Only for today. No touching my dick unless in the shower or peeing. I will be spacially carefull when going to sleep and specialy carefull when waking up.
I will also stay away from social media and compulsive eating today, as those things keep me off track.

That's it. that's all the thinking I need. now is time to act on it, no more words needed.

My new job is going well, btw. The people are nice and they are happy with my performance so far. Money is also good.

that's all for today guys, see you tomorrow!

 

[Trisquel]

Hi guys!
Today K have a free day.
Last Thursday was bad, I was feeling a lot of anxiety, idk why. I managed to be okay in the end, but I think there is something weird with my at the moment. Is like there is a lot of strong emotions that I need to get out, and I don't know how to. I'm feeling weird lately.
I have an appointment on monday to look into a therapy group I found. Let's see.

But anyway, today I have another free day and I have some things planned, hopefully it'll be a good day.

I commit to only one day of no P, no subtitues and no fantasies. I won't touch my dick unless in the shower and I will be specially careful when waking up or going to sleep.
I will also meditate for 10 min before leaving my house.

That's all for all guys, see you tomorrow
Cheers

 

[Androg]

You're sure to get something out of such a group. But keep in mind that this is an uncomfortable planet, so some recurring anxiety may just be part of the ride.

 

[Trisquel]

You're sure to get something out of such a group. But keep in mind that this is an uncomfortable planet, so some recurring anxiety may just be part of the ride.

You'r right, unfortunally, haha. Maybe I just need to try not to think too much about it and enjoy what I have. Anyway, sometimes I do feel overwhelmed, and idk how normal that is. I think I would llike to have someone to know about this.

Today I commit to a day of no P, no subtitues and no fantasies. I won't M, or touch my dick unless peeing or in the shower. I will be specially carefull when going to sleep or when waking up.
Also, I'm trying to eat better. This is really important for me, since I use food to cope with feelings, and is very unhealthy. For now I'm not buying any more junk food. If I have cravings for it, I will stick with fruit, or water, or teah, or whatever it is untill it passes. I will cook more healthy meals and I will try to avoid over eating. I think is gping to be difficult, but worth it, I don't want to feel bad about food anymore. I'm also looking into the theraphy group.

That's all for all, guys, Yesterday I had a free day and I managed to do some enjoyable things. Today I work.

See you tomorrow!

 

[Trisquel]

Hi guys.
Day went fine, busy day at work, now is time to get some rest. Tomorrow I have a free day, I will try to so something nice.

I'm here to remind myself of my commitment. No fantasies and no M when going to sleep or when waking up.

See you guys tomorrow

 

[Trisquel]

Hi guys,

Today is a relaxing day, I'll go visit my new city and rest a little.

I commit to one day of no P, no fantasies and no subtitues. I won't touch my dick unless in the shower or peeing.
I will be specially carefull when going to sleep and in the morning, when waking up.
Also, I think it would be good to rewire to real life. meeting new people in real life, I mean. I still have to figure out how to do that more. For the momet, I think this week I'll go to an lenguage learning event (like a language café). Also I will put more flyers to find musiciand to play more music with.
I will be carefull with food as well. Last night I didn't overeat and that was good.

That's all the thinking for today, now is only acting on it!
We don't have to fight this addiction forevever. Only today, only this day. I'm so sick of P, I cannot wait to get rid of it and to connect and enjoy real life, real connections and people.
See you tomorrow guys.

 

[Trisquel]

Hi guys.
I'm having some very big urges right now. But that's okay.
I will just look at them, and let them be, they can be there.
Now I'm going out of my house to explore on of the parks in my new city. I want to read my book, and I'll do that for some hours.
I meditated this morning, btw, it went well. Hopefully it'll give me new tools to fight this addiction.
I still remember my plan for these moments of big urges, and I'm going to implement it right now:


-Stay away from my phone and computer for 5 min.
-take a couple of deep breaths
- ask myself what I'm doing and how I'm dealing with the urges.
-if I'm alone, go outside my house (to the park, to do groceries, to a gym, to the cinema, to visit a friend, to a cafe, wherever)
-if I cannot go out, call my family or friends, try to be in company.



See you later, guys!

 

[Androg]

Hi guys.
I'm having some very big urges right now. But that's okay.
I will just look at them, and let them be, they can be there.
Now I'm going out of my house to explore on of the parks in my new city. I want to read my book, and I'll do that for some hours.
I meditated this morning, btw, it went well. Hopefully it'll give me new tools to fight this addiction.
I still remember my plan for these moments of big urges, and I'm going to implement it right now:


-Stay away from my phone and computer for 5 min.
-take a couple of deep breaths
- ask myself what I'm doing and how I'm dealing with the urges.
-if I'm alone, go outside my house (to the park, to do groceries, to a gym, to the cinema, to visit a friend, to a cafe, wherever)
-if I cannot go out, call my family or friends, try to be in company.



See you later, guys!

Good call! Urges pass.

 

[the_mountain_goat]

Hey Trisquel. Hope you're OK. My advice would also be to try and predict these urges. Look at what's one your agenda for the next few days and ask yourself "mmm do I see a risky moment?", and then try and plan something to keep this urge from emerging in the first place!

 

[Trisquel]

Hi guys, thanks for checking in. I'm doing okay.


These days I've been having difficult feelings such as anxiety and loneliness. I also have been going too much to my head to try to solve those. It's beeing a strange period, where I feel weird. Yesterday I had a call with my sister that really helped me a lot. We talked that I've been going through a lot of changes and effort lately (I moved out of my house at a very young age to work in a nother country and start university here) and that it's normal to feel overwhelmed sometimes.
I have also contacted a therapy group that could help me and I have made an appointment with the University's Psychologyst, so i think I'm taking care of my mental health.

I trust to have more social life when I start university. Until then I will focus on working and on music, also learning Dutch. Hopefully I will find a chance to meet new people in pursuing any of these activities.

I commit to one day of no P, no M and no fantasies. I know that P is not the answer to my struggles and that it will only drag me down. I have ro remind that everyday.
I won't touch my dick unless in the shower or peeing. Also, I will be specially careful when waking up and going to sleep.
Today, before going to work, I will meditate for 10 mins.

That's all for today, guys, today I feel a bit weird, but this too shall pass. Hopefully if I keep doing the right things I will get better.

See you tomorrow

 

[Trisquel]

Hey Trisquel. Hope you're OK. My advice would also be to try and predict these urges. Look at what's one your agenda for the next few days and ask yourself "mmm do I see a risky moment?", and then try and plan something to keep this urge from emerging in the first place!

Thanks you man!
I think the most dangerous days are my free days, as I don't have a lot to do. I try to make cultural visits and sports those days, as well as playing music. Trying to be outside my house and busy as much as possible. It is difficult sometimes, but it usually works very well!

 

[Trisquel]

Day is going fine, almost finished with work, feeling tired.
I've just corrected the title of my journal, I realized after this time that it was not propper english, haha, I think it is correct now

 

[Trisquel]

HI guys.

Today I work again, I will take the morning to do groceries and a couple of things, maybe practice drums, and then I go to work.

I commit to a P-free day. No P, no fantasies, and no subtitutes. I will be specially careful when going to sleep and when waking up, as those moments are very triggering for me, specially if I'm tired.
I won't touch my dick unless in the shower or peeing.

I only have to do it for today. I have to remember everyday why I'm doing this. I want to leave P behind and enjoy a healthy life where I'm able to connect with real people. I don't want to feel so bad as I have felt before because of P. I want to improve my life.

That's all the thinking for today, now it is only acting on it.

See you tommorrow guys!
PS: 11 days without PMO

 

[Trisquel]

Hi guys!

Just another normal day.

I commit only for today to no P, no subtitues and no fantasies. I won`t touch my dick unless in the shower or when peeing, and I will be spacieally carefull when going to sleep.

I have had difficulties with fantasies when going to sleep. I feel very tired after a long day at work and is easy to indulge myself. But the good thing is that I remain conscious and I can say no to it.

That's all for today. I only have to beat this addiction one more day. i will read some old post to remind myself why I'm doing this.

See you tomorrow guys

 

[Trisquel]

Hi guys.

Today is just another day of work. I'll will read and take a shower and then go to work.

Feeling a little bit sad today. I feel lonely, and I find it difficult to connect with people. Hopefully it'll get better when I start university, I will find more opportunities there to meet new people.

I commit to only one day of no P, no fantasies and no subtitues. I won't touch my dick unless in the shower or in toilet, and I will be specially careful when going to sleep and waking up.

I have to remind myself every day of why I'm doing this, I want to break free from porn.

That's all for today guys, see tou tomorrow