49 days no PMO. MO in the middle of the night. Been trying to avoid both for the last 35ish days (when I started my no PMO streak I wasn't really thinking about MO, just decided to stop that too somewhere around 15 days in).
It's disappointing to have done that last night because it was my last night out of town, since I fly home in 3 hours, and I had managed to not slip at all for the 10ish days I had been out of town until that.
I think it all started after work. My last day out of town, especially if it's a Friday, always puts me in a weird mood. Something like "well there's no reason to be here cause I am done with work today and meeting anyone at this point is pointless since I am heading home in the morning." But I was looking for something to do because I didn't want to just sit around in my hotel room in that mood. As I was looking online for things I saw that a musical artist was playing nearby and they sounded cool on Spotify, but when I found them online they had a lot of risque photos that I lingered upon about 30 seconds longer than I should have (which is to say, 30 seconds). I backed off, redirected my thoughts and moved on but it feels like it stuck with me somewhat.
I ended up going to a small indie artist bar/venue but I was all by myself and felt a little awkward so I ended up having 3 drinks. Of course, 3 does't usually do much to me but I had had a very light dinner and drinks out here are also definitely stronger.
Loosened me up enough that I ended up meeting the very cute girl who sang in one of the bands and we talked for quite a while. If I came back out here I think I could meet up with her. So that part is good.
When I got home, i had no issue. Worked on a writing project I have on the side till I got tired and went to bed. But I woke up in the middle of the night with my head still a bit alcohol fuzzy and just wanting to MO. So I did. PMO crossed my mind but the urge wasn't very strong.
This all feels somewhat rambling haha, but I guess I am still processing why it happened. It's not the end of the world, but I was disappointed. Nothing to do but move forward.
I'm going to go back to no MO immediately, for the next 30 days. i get that one freebie, now it's back to business.