Time to End This Once and For All

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dienekes1

Active Member
Day 9

No urges to report. Had a pretty chill day, now that my final semester of law school is over. (Classes are done; still have an exam left though). Spent today finishing up an assignment, going on a walk, reading the book I’m currently reading, and making a trip to the grocery store.
 
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dienekes1

Active Member
Day 10

Back in the double digits. No real urges today. Since my last relapse, I’ve made a habit of reflecting upon my reasons for wanting to quit porn several times a day and I feel that this is helping to keep me grounded and focused. A lot of past relapses have occurred because I lost sight of the why behind this journey, and I think this habit is making the path a little more easy to stay on.
 
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dienekes1

Active Member
Day 13

No urges today, although I did have a PMO-related dream last night. Regardless, I’m feeling good — I will not relapse.

I found some notes in my phone from 2021 in which I wrote about how badly I wanted to quit porn and how much better my life will be once I overcome this addiction. Since then, I’ve had my ups and downs, but my last two streaks were the longest ones I’ve ever had and my brain is presently healthier than it has ever been. I’m so grateful for being on this journey — it has dramatically changed my life for the better.
 
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dienekes1

Active Member
Day 14

Experienced some urges today — probably since I have a final exam tomorrow morning and was feeling nervous / in need of mood regulation. However, I was able to resist these urges without too much difficulty and read a book to calm myself down instead. Two weeks down, many, many more to go!
 
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dienekes1

Active Member
Day 16

I moved into my new apartment in the city today. The move took pretty much all day, but on the bright side I was so busy that I didn’t have the time or bandwidth to think about PMO or experience any urges. Very excited for what the future holds here though!
 
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dienekes1

Active Member
Day 19

I graduated from law school today — and was much too busy for any urges to arise. It still feels surreal (and somewhat anticlimactic, since I still need to pass the bar exam to become a licensed attorney), but I nonetheless enjoyed the commencement ceremony and had a nice dinner afterward with my girlfriend and family.
 
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dienekes1

Active Member
Day 20

Had some urges today, but none were very significant. Ran a bunch of errands and walked to the local farmer’s market. Feeling good.
 
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dienekes1

Active Member
Day 22

Got hit with the most intense urge wave of this streak so far, and while it took a lot of self-restraint, I was able to resist. Unfortunately, however, I “peeked” for a minute or two at some non-hardcore content (a few images on instagram). While I don’t count this as a relapse, it was not something I should have done and I took a cold shower right after it happened as a sort of punishment (and to subordinate my senses to the rational part of my brain).
 
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