Brother in this battle - My path to freedom

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Freerider

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Day 13 no porn. But i masturbated. So practically lost this count. It was really hard couple days and get worse. I am happy i didn’t miss porn or wanted to watch it but still masturbation wasnt good for me and not just a normal habit.

I also was distant and irritable yesterday and today. It somehow went so that i took distance to all real world at the same time when craving increased and took over me. This fight i have to learn handle. How you do it guys?

My opinion is that it was craving that has talked to me already couple days until i fell down. Anyway I want to continue this reboot. So maybe tomorrow is day 1 again.. day number isnt so important, being honest is important, thats why i dont want to lie here or for me. Also being away from all pmo shit and imagination world. I am sorry guys.. how have you done this?
 
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Freerider

Active Member
Freerider said:
Day 13 no porn. But i masturbated. So practically lost this count. It was really hard couple days and get worse. I am happy i didn’t miss porn or wanted to watch it but still masturbation wasnt good for me and not just a normal habit.

I also was distant and irritable yesterday and today. It somehow went so that i took distance to all real world at the same time when craving increased and took over me. This fight i have to learn handle. How you do it guys?

My opinion is that it was craving that has talked to me already couple days until i fell down. Anyway I want to continue this reboot. So maybe tomorrow is day 1 again.. day number isnt so important, being honest is important, thats why i dont want to lie here or for me. Also being away from all pmo shit and imagination world. I am sorry guys.. how have you done this?
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I feel bad about today. On the other hand if this would be so easy i had fixed this long time ago. So it is possible that mistakes happen. Now i know that i cant play with option to masturbate if i want to get myself away from all that shit. I try to be graceful to myself.
 
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Freerider

Active Member
Day 14 no pmo. I decided to continue counting because no porn is key on this. In the end after rebooting masturbation (without any porn etc) could be part of my sexlife. At the moment i concentrate to no pmo and get my focus on life.
 
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Freerider

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Day 15 no porn. Cold shower. Little desperation with this reboot. Today some desperate sex trying with wife but i am somehow broken and didnt get erection although it is not problem to have it when not needed.. little confused this but want to get get away from porn and be clear. Have you heard about Paula Hall book or that reboot program? I did it last autumn and it was good althought i have this reboot ongoin still. I probably do it again, there is application, short listening for every day on 60 days and some practises also. https://www.pivotalrecovery.org/ its here, pay some euros.
Stay strong!
 
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Freerider

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Day 17 no porn. Fever and flu. I have masturbated couple days which is not good, i was so disappointed about that i didnt have erection when i had possibility to have sex with my wife. But if I continue mastirbating flatline take longer and i am in trouble. So tomorrow i start pmo counting again. I have survived good without porn, but had dreams about some girls and have fantasies about them. So today is day 17 no porn and day 0 without masturbation. Have to take that also in counting that i can healing.
 
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Freerider

Active Member
Day 19 no porn. I though this is my reboot diary but at least it is my honestly diary. How to start reboot day.. still day 0 with masturbation. I have learn more about this dynamic how craving works with me. I check first of those ”no pmo guide” materials from here https://forum.rebootnation.org/index.php?threads/25179/ and there are good elements for sober life. Its amazing how deep i am in on those old habits although i know its not real and it makes problems for my real life. Happy about that life without porn has been not so big problem on last weeks. Althougt that masturbating and craving tells that im in deep still. Have to stop that also right now.
 
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Freerider

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Day 24 no porn, day 5 no mo. I was sick and that was quite a reboot. High fever and endless sleeping. Actually it helps for my sleeping problems a little..
 
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Freerider

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Day 25 noporn, day 6 no mo. Blinkist books, many porn addiction books or summary of books there.
 
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Freerider

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Day 27 and 8. it annoys and saddens me because I was sick at Christmas and it's frustrating to go back to work right after. don't know how much sexual frustration in the background affects everything else. Probably, and like i alreasy learn this one week without masturbation stuff is difficult and frustration increased fast. Keep going guys, this is not fun but we need to do this and find ourselfs without any porn shit.
 
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Freerider

Active Member
Day 28 and 9. Day by day, going forward. How you have handle situations which you already know are hard or you have acted before, like being home alone and work from home, stressfull situation where you are just alone with your porn devil thoughts? I've messed up so many times that I'm already afraid of next week. Im pretty sure i cant handle masturbation and maybe even stayed away from porn. I have to have somekind of plan for that beforehand. Any ideas?
 
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the_badger

the_badger

Member
Are you using porn blockers already? If not, I'd give it a try. (Qustodio for example. There are other possibilities as well, but I have not tried them.)
They are no magic solution, and if you really want to, you will most likely be able to find a way around it. But it helped me a lot the last time, to not decline further from MO to PMO. And that is a huge victory!
I'd also recommend meditation to everyone who has not tried it. Calms the mind, increases willpower and much more (in the long run).
Do you have any hobby/interest that you have been neglecting and could pick up again? Anything you're excited about will help to keep your mind of porn thoughts!
 
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Freerider

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Day 29 and 10. Its great to be here, almost month without porn. Same time sad because next week. Hope to survive somehow, thanks for tips @the_badger !
 
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Freerider

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Day 30 and 11. Happy about that, hope to survive from this and hope that i learn nee ways to act when hard or frustrated times. Happy new year!
 
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