noises1990
Active Member
Have you tried releasing more often with your girlfriend? You might suggest a bj to her. How does that affect your reboot?
A good time for a massive change. ED, Performance anxiety, porn, fetishes etc.
- Thread starter Shaft
- Start date
Taka
Member
You know Shaft. I think I might have something similar here. It feels really good when I am giving pleasure, without PVI, to someone but when I am about to receive it I start think about it. I am desentisized to my own pleasure. I am starting to be more sensitive to it the longer I reboot. So keep it up, results will hopefully come for you too.
So, finally, my ED which was caused by whatever, is gone. Yet I'm experiencing other thing- PE. A severe one, not going much into details. Doing kegal exercises daily, practising breathing etc. It's purely psychological since I can control it before the actual itnercourse during the foreplay.
Hopefully those exercises will help. I want to add, that neither coffee nor a bottle of beer kills my erection, yet I assume since I've beaten performance anxiety, I should cut on using alchohol for relaxation significantly. Perhaps I simply cannot feel a point of 'no return' while actually in a process of doing it because of alchohol. Because that's exatly what happens..
Hopefully those exercises will help. I want to add, that neither coffee nor a bottle of beer kills my erection, yet I assume since I've beaten performance anxiety, I should cut on using alchohol for relaxation significantly. Perhaps I simply cannot feel a point of 'no return' while actually in a process of doing it because of alchohol. Because that's exatly what happens..
Shaft said:
Hey Shaft, good to hear from you, man.
We're in the same boat with the PE thing. To be honest this is what brought me to this forum, because PE has been a problem for much of the time after I got rid of ED (I had ED issues in the past, it pushed me to start my first reboot).
PE is a bastard :/ There is a great article on it on YBOP - just get on YBOP and type in "premature", you will find it. It helped me a lot and gave me some hope. It has some references as well, including a reference to a thread on YourBrainRebalanced forum: I want to read all of it, but was only able to glance throught the first few posts. Apparently there is a whole community of guys there who had PMO-induced PE and there are testimonies of full healing.
We need to have hope it's possible for us as well.
I think it's safe to say that I ddin't have PIED, but ED mainly due to anxiety issues, severe ones. And on top of that, it's clear that porn just brought turmoil into my head, unnecesery fantasies included. They're gone now. Both porn and unhealthy masturbation are so wrong.
Thanks for the link you suggested and kind words, I'll check it
Thanks for the link you suggested and kind words, I'll check it
I don't know.. I've been researching this whole PE for a while and peoples' opinions are very different towards the solutions. Ones say alchohol causes PE, others state the contrary, it prolongs the intercouse in the major way if used properly (right amount of it).
People say abstaining from MO helps to cure PE, others say just the opposite. For me, abstaining from MO helps to boost up my sex drive, but the side effect is that if I was to abstain from MO for lets say 14 days, I would expplode just by a few touches because I would have like 105 % erection which is almost painful. It's great to fell that power, but you can't use it anyway. It's better to have normal erectons than super strong erections which you can't control.
I've been doing kegals for two weeks now (2 different exercises) and one of them only serves to me as a great exercise for the lowest abs that I have. And kegals help to strenghten the erection, so I've no idea how I would use it in order to help myself last longer.
I'll continue with the thought that it's a psychological problem. Because logically speaking, it is a purely an issue with the psyche
What I'm gonna do:
1. Practise edging in the mornings without orgasming. Stop and start techniques, while trying to last up to 20- 30 minutes and learning to feel 'a point of no return.'
2. Breathing exercises daily
3. Meditation daily
4. Kegals daily
5. While in the actual intercourse, close your eyes, and try to talk about sth with the partner
6. Small amount of alchohol before the intercourse
I want to mention that I tried already edging and that was interesting. I literally had no fantasy whatsoever, not even about my GF, because I really had to focus on how to delay ejaculation which isn't easy.
I think that the first, and fifth points are the main ones, as per now.
People say abstaining from MO helps to cure PE, others say just the opposite. For me, abstaining from MO helps to boost up my sex drive, but the side effect is that if I was to abstain from MO for lets say 14 days, I would expplode just by a few touches because I would have like 105 % erection which is almost painful. It's great to fell that power, but you can't use it anyway. It's better to have normal erectons than super strong erections which you can't control.
I've been doing kegals for two weeks now (2 different exercises) and one of them only serves to me as a great exercise for the lowest abs that I have. And kegals help to strenghten the erection, so I've no idea how I would use it in order to help myself last longer.
I'll continue with the thought that it's a psychological problem. Because logically speaking, it is a purely an issue with the psyche
What I'm gonna do:
1. Practise edging in the mornings without orgasming. Stop and start techniques, while trying to last up to 20- 30 minutes and learning to feel 'a point of no return.'
2. Breathing exercises daily
3. Meditation daily
4. Kegals daily
5. While in the actual intercourse, close your eyes, and try to talk about sth with the partner
6. Small amount of alchohol before the intercourse
I want to mention that I tried already edging and that was interesting. I literally had no fantasy whatsoever, not even about my GF, because I really had to focus on how to delay ejaculation which isn't easy.
I think that the first, and fifth points are the main ones, as per now.
I'm kinda desperate towards this whole PE thing. I can prevent myself from ejaculating rather easily while being touched, but as soon as I make the first thrusts in a spooning position it's over (regular positions even worse). Trying not to rush and everything, don't fell terribly excited either, but I don't even feel the moment of ejaculating coming during the intercourse.
Majority of articles I've found didn't help either. I've no idea how kegal exercises will help me, because I've strong PC muscle. Despite that, I keep doing them daily. However, since I don't feel the moment of 'no return' during the intercourse I can only dream about applying 'delaying' and 'stop 'n start' methods. Another method, edging on a daily is almost a painful chore which is not pleasant at all. I don't know if I continue practising it..
I've read comments that guys are complaining for "lasting only 15 mins" which they consider as PE. You know, I'd be more than happy if I could last at least a minute, not kidding.
One thing that makes things worse is trying to make love around 11-12 in the evening, as far as I've noticed. Even though it's damn romantic, my interest in sex starts to fall and I become sleepy.
Neither coffee, nor one alchohol drink is to blame for this PE thing, as I've experienced. Fatigue is a killer here. It weakens erections significantly and moreover, doesn't help you to relax at all, nor it helps with PE.
I've been doing this whole thing for quite a while now and sometimes it seems to me that it's going nowhere.
Majority of articles I've found didn't help either. I've no idea how kegal exercises will help me, because I've strong PC muscle. Despite that, I keep doing them daily. However, since I don't feel the moment of 'no return' during the intercourse I can only dream about applying 'delaying' and 'stop 'n start' methods. Another method, edging on a daily is almost a painful chore which is not pleasant at all. I don't know if I continue practising it..
I've read comments that guys are complaining for "lasting only 15 mins" which they consider as PE. You know, I'd be more than happy if I could last at least a minute, not kidding.
One thing that makes things worse is trying to make love around 11-12 in the evening, as far as I've noticed. Even though it's damn romantic, my interest in sex starts to fall and I become sleepy.
Neither coffee, nor one alchohol drink is to blame for this PE thing, as I've experienced. Fatigue is a killer here. It weakens erections significantly and moreover, doesn't help you to relax at all, nor it helps with PE.
I've been doing this whole thing for quite a while now and sometimes it seems to me that it's going nowhere.
After number of tries, finally managed to stay hard for approx. 15-20 min. during the intercourse. That's quite an achievement for me. Neither kegels nor other exercises have helped, but breathing techniques and learning how to relax in general really work, believe me. Controlling your breath during the sex can really do wonders. I went from lasting 2 seconds to 15 or so minutes.
It's been 90 days since I created the account here, and that's a prove that it takes hell of a lot time to heal from this whole porn nonsense.
Thanks for the support I got from all of you, I wish you best of luck.
It's been 90 days since I created the account here, and that's a prove that it takes hell of a lot time to heal from this whole porn nonsense.
Thanks for the support I got from all of you, I wish you best of luck.
I thought that for the last message here (probably) it would be a good idea to list number of things which I did and didn't that helped me to rewire my brain:
1. No Porn (images and erotic stuff included).
2. No focus on no fapping or not watching porn.
3. Reminding yourself why am I doing this when urges come
4. No MO for as long as possible/minimize the ratio of it to the lowest. For me, I only managed to stay away from MO for 14 days non-stop, because not ejaculating caused severe pains in my lower back at least 3-4 times a week up to a point sometimes where I couln't even walk/think/eat properly when that pain was present. (I've had none of that pain since I started to ejaculate again. NONE)
5. No cold showers. I tried them, and it didn't work for me. There's no reason to put yourself in a situation where all you can think is how to handle the pain of ice cold water. I think it's highly overrated. And it didn't help to deal with urges at all. I'd rather go jogging, or do my fitness, meditation etc.
6. Kegels. I did them in the past for a month or so, and unfortunately it showed no results whatsoever. I was really into them.
7. Breathing techniques during which you inhale for the 10 seconds, hold your breath for 1 s, and then exhale for the following 10 s. Each time I felt I was going to come during sex I immediatly took a deep breathe and... it worked. Requares time to master it in practise though, but nothing extremely complicated.
8. No testing, no edging, no 'let's see if I can get it up (even if it's without porn'. The more you test yourself, the more inbalanced you become. I remember times when I would test myself and I was struggling to get a boner, or maintaining an erection, even after 7 days abstinence form orgams. No it looks crazy.
9. Don't forget that porn will always be a problem for you. Never ever go on the same pathways like previously.
Hopefully it's gonna help to at least some folks out there. I went from having a limp dick or ejaculating withing 2 seconds after penetration to being able to maintain erection for 35 minutes during the last time I had and intercourse.
Good luck guys
1. No Porn (images and erotic stuff included).
2. No focus on no fapping or not watching porn.
3. Reminding yourself why am I doing this when urges come
4. No MO for as long as possible/minimize the ratio of it to the lowest. For me, I only managed to stay away from MO for 14 days non-stop, because not ejaculating caused severe pains in my lower back at least 3-4 times a week up to a point sometimes where I couln't even walk/think/eat properly when that pain was present. (I've had none of that pain since I started to ejaculate again. NONE)
5. No cold showers. I tried them, and it didn't work for me. There's no reason to put yourself in a situation where all you can think is how to handle the pain of ice cold water. I think it's highly overrated. And it didn't help to deal with urges at all. I'd rather go jogging, or do my fitness, meditation etc.
6. Kegels. I did them in the past for a month or so, and unfortunately it showed no results whatsoever. I was really into them.
7. Breathing techniques during which you inhale for the 10 seconds, hold your breath for 1 s, and then exhale for the following 10 s. Each time I felt I was going to come during sex I immediatly took a deep breathe and... it worked. Requares time to master it in practise though, but nothing extremely complicated.
8. No testing, no edging, no 'let's see if I can get it up (even if it's without porn'. The more you test yourself, the more inbalanced you become. I remember times when I would test myself and I was struggling to get a boner, or maintaining an erection, even after 7 days abstinence form orgams. No it looks crazy.
9. Don't forget that porn will always be a problem for you. Never ever go on the same pathways like previously.
Hopefully it's gonna help to at least some folks out there. I went from having a limp dick or ejaculating withing 2 seconds after penetration to being able to maintain erection for 35 minutes during the last time I had and intercourse.
Good luck guys