a_strange_boy
Member
I'm not saying you should stay away from them, but it might be a bit much if you work with video games and then go home and spend a good deal of your time playing them, no?
I don't want to lose you hun...
- Thread starter noises1990
- Start date
noises1990
Active Member
a_strange_boy said:
You are absolutely right! Btw, do you guys think that using Brain Healing Binaural Beats can increase healing or help with the overall process?
Example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=--tpv0-CCfE
@ noises1990
I do not believe they will affect your reboot in terms of sexual function or an addiction to porn. However, today's superstimulating, or simply put, super awesome video games are very addicting themselves and brain scans of video game addicts show the same brain changes as substance users. Desensitization means you have a numbed reward circuit and when this happens other things in life no longer seem as desirable. So, in terms of what you seek and desire playing video games all the time might hurt your drive to pursue women.
Working with them is fine at your job, playing occasionally is fine too. I would limit your time, and only play them when your with friends in person or something.
Here is a post I made a long time ago on this subject... you might find it helpful. Just sharing my thoughts:
"Yea, I strongly encourage everyone rebooting to give up social networks, or at least cut back your time using them. Talking and flirting with girls online is entirely different than talking and flirting with a girl in person. The only way a guy is going to get comfortable in social situations, is to put himself in social situations. I was addicted to Facebook, posting funny status updates or funny pictures and getting dopamine hits from people liking them and talking about them. It hijacks our natural desire to socialize and we end up sitting inside all day. I have been in rooms in the past where everyone was staring at their phone on Facebook, chatting with friends miles away and ignoring the people inches away.
Same goes for video games. Our natural desire to cultivate and produce things gets hijacked by playing a game where we "level up", "build an empire", or "buy a house in Grand Theft Auto". Show me a man who is not producing or cultivating something, and I guarantee you he will be in a state of distress. Video games can blind us to the fact that we are losers, because we are fooling ourselves into thinking we are successful, neurologically speaking. I dropped out of college, shut out several relationships, and gave up basketball, all while feeling so "successful" because I was highly ranked in Call of Duty. Sad. Playing games with friends every now and then is completely fine, but when a grown man is passing up on hang out time with real people so he can kill virtual people, there is a problem. I love video games just as much as anyone, but they will hold a man back from getting out in the world, similar to how P/M will hold a man back from seeking a loving partner.
My advice to anyone rebooting is to hang out with people in person, talk to people on the phone, and take up a sport, hit the gym and set goals to acheive in the weightroom, take guitar lessons, cooking classes, dance classes, go to toastmasters and practice public speaking (I'm starting this soon), get a dog and regularly take it to the dog park and talk to people, build something, have a cookout for your neighborhood and actually talk to them for a change, call up old friends and plan get togethers, apologize to people you have hurt in the past, and on and on I could go. Get out and live, laugh and love.
When you get online come to sites like Reboot Nation and encourage others, give advice, share wisdom, post your thoughts and experiences for others to relate to, then sign off before your browsing youtube for hours or stalking some girls facebook you have never met in real life."
I do not believe they will affect your reboot in terms of sexual function or an addiction to porn. However, today's superstimulating, or simply put, super awesome video games are very addicting themselves and brain scans of video game addicts show the same brain changes as substance users. Desensitization means you have a numbed reward circuit and when this happens other things in life no longer seem as desirable. So, in terms of what you seek and desire playing video games all the time might hurt your drive to pursue women.
Working with them is fine at your job, playing occasionally is fine too. I would limit your time, and only play them when your with friends in person or something.
Here is a post I made a long time ago on this subject... you might find it helpful. Just sharing my thoughts:
"Yea, I strongly encourage everyone rebooting to give up social networks, or at least cut back your time using them. Talking and flirting with girls online is entirely different than talking and flirting with a girl in person. The only way a guy is going to get comfortable in social situations, is to put himself in social situations. I was addicted to Facebook, posting funny status updates or funny pictures and getting dopamine hits from people liking them and talking about them. It hijacks our natural desire to socialize and we end up sitting inside all day. I have been in rooms in the past where everyone was staring at their phone on Facebook, chatting with friends miles away and ignoring the people inches away.
Same goes for video games. Our natural desire to cultivate and produce things gets hijacked by playing a game where we "level up", "build an empire", or "buy a house in Grand Theft Auto". Show me a man who is not producing or cultivating something, and I guarantee you he will be in a state of distress. Video games can blind us to the fact that we are losers, because we are fooling ourselves into thinking we are successful, neurologically speaking. I dropped out of college, shut out several relationships, and gave up basketball, all while feeling so "successful" because I was highly ranked in Call of Duty. Sad. Playing games with friends every now and then is completely fine, but when a grown man is passing up on hang out time with real people so he can kill virtual people, there is a problem. I love video games just as much as anyone, but they will hold a man back from getting out in the world, similar to how P/M will hold a man back from seeking a loving partner.
My advice to anyone rebooting is to hang out with people in person, talk to people on the phone, and take up a sport, hit the gym and set goals to acheive in the weightroom, take guitar lessons, cooking classes, dance classes, go to toastmasters and practice public speaking (I'm starting this soon), get a dog and regularly take it to the dog park and talk to people, build something, have a cookout for your neighborhood and actually talk to them for a change, call up old friends and plan get togethers, apologize to people you have hurt in the past, and on and on I could go. Get out and live, laugh and love.
When you get online come to sites like Reboot Nation and encourage others, give advice, share wisdom, post your thoughts and experiences for others to relate to, then sign off before your browsing youtube for hours or stalking some girls facebook you have never met in real life."
noises1990
Active Member
Thanks a lot Gabe! I will focus more on web-design when I'm at home... Honestly I do want to socialize and get out more, but these few days I'm kinda not that open to that. I'm a very social creature by nature, or at least I used to be... don't know wtf happened to me... well... porn happened 
Btw, how do you feel about the binaural beats?
Btw, how do you feel about the binaural beats?
noises1990
Active Member
Feeling kinda better.... I don't think that abstaining from PMO is actually that difficult. I've been reading some Yoga/Taoist/Spiritual articles and references and I got very interested in how they viewed the MO and O differently than western cultures. Also I remember a friend who was doing yoga for the past 8-9 years telling me that your sexual energy is like a bucket... if you keep MO'ing or ejaculating, eventually it will become empty. So I'm taking this no PMO/MO/O to a deeper level, a spiritual one.
I was considering taking up meditations and some basic yoga poses in the morning before going to work, don't really know if I'll have enough time though because I don't want to lose good hours of sleep.
Also, idk if this helps you guys, but trance music/mixes seem to calm me down and keep me focused on more important things
Example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUEz4mpvnZc
I was considering taking up meditations and some basic yoga poses in the morning before going to work, don't really know if I'll have enough time though because I don't want to lose good hours of sleep.
Also, idk if this helps you guys, but trance music/mixes seem to calm me down and keep me focused on more important things
Example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUEz4mpvnZc
noises1990
Active Member
Also I think it helps me reading these things! You might want to check them out and relax for a bit
www.surrenderworks.com/library/imports/distortedthinking.html
www.surrenderworks.com/library/imports/distortedthinking.html
noises1990
Active Member
Today was actually a good day... Although it's very early and I fear that there are darker times to come, I feel that somehow I'm starting to reconnect with my old self... I'm more energetic and positive. Had a good run at the gym and lifted some weights, nice workout and I seem to perform better. Though I seem to sometimes get thoughts about sex and sex performance related things I can't wait to be over this issue and make sweet love with my girlfriend.
Good night people! Keep positive and smile more! We'll get over this!
Good night people! Keep positive and smile more! We'll get over this!
iwillprevail
Member
Hey noises1990, I say enjoy the nice things in the reboot while they come and go.. Your current victory gives us more fighting power to not give in to our demons. Keep up the gym work haha
a_strange_boy
Member
Hey man, I'd be interested in reading what some of the spiritual articles have to say about MO? Any chance you could provide a link to any?!
I did a beginners course in meditation once, and I've done a good deal of yoga over the past 6 or 7 years, so I might have some help on this. Remember that meditation doesn't need to be sitting down for two hours and trying to chase away any thoughts from your brain...this goes back to what I said about doing some work, no matter how small, is still better than doing no work. If you can sit down, even for 3 minutes before going to work in the morning, I bet after a week or so, you'll come to need those 3 minutes as part of your morning routine. And if you find that's the case, then perhaps you can up it to 5 minutes etc.
It can be so beneficial to just sit down for a few minutes, uninterrupted, calm your body and try and just let thoughts flow through your head. There's something about it for me which I can only describe as clearing up brain-clutter. I would definitely recommend it.
As for the yoga, I have some sheets which I could easily scan and link you to, which basically breakdown the entire Ashtanga primary sequence. I have a sheet for a 15 minute practice, 30 minute practice and 45 minute practice. I'd be more than happy to do that for you?! I'm not a particularly spiritual person, but I've found yoga can be great for clearing your mind, for getting a bit of a sweat going and getting your blood flowing, without exhausting you. Let me know if you'd be interest in these!
I did a beginners course in meditation once, and I've done a good deal of yoga over the past 6 or 7 years, so I might have some help on this. Remember that meditation doesn't need to be sitting down for two hours and trying to chase away any thoughts from your brain...this goes back to what I said about doing some work, no matter how small, is still better than doing no work. If you can sit down, even for 3 minutes before going to work in the morning, I bet after a week or so, you'll come to need those 3 minutes as part of your morning routine. And if you find that's the case, then perhaps you can up it to 5 minutes etc.
It can be so beneficial to just sit down for a few minutes, uninterrupted, calm your body and try and just let thoughts flow through your head. There's something about it for me which I can only describe as clearing up brain-clutter. I would definitely recommend it.
As for the yoga, I have some sheets which I could easily scan and link you to, which basically breakdown the entire Ashtanga primary sequence. I have a sheet for a 15 minute practice, 30 minute practice and 45 minute practice. I'd be more than happy to do that for you?! I'm not a particularly spiritual person, but I've found yoga can be great for clearing your mind, for getting a bit of a sweat going and getting your blood flowing, without exhausting you. Let me know if you'd be interest in these!
noises1990
Active Member
a_strange_boy said:
Here's a simple article that I found about ejaculation (it is related to tantra): http://www.yogaesoteric.net/content.aspx?lang=EN&item=4374. I will translate the ones that I've read about MO since they're all in my native language and post an update to it.
Regarding the yoga practice, yes I would love and appreciate it very much if you could share the sheets with me! I'm not able at the moment to take a yoga class due to schedule restrictions and also money issues
noises1990
Active Member
So I guess this is the entry where I talk about my progress... Honestly, on the physical side I guess I'm better. Although I'm having some issues with sleep (not insomnia, I just get to bed really late) I think I'm ok. My workouts at the gym are improving, although cardio is a bit heavier for my body (used to run 8-9 km, and now I only enjoy about 7,5 km) but this I guess is normal with the low calories diet I'm having (herbalife ftw).
At work it appears that I'm more focused, today achieving a much greater number of "bugs" submitted and a joyfulness in doing it. Overall I guess I'm getting more positive and optimistic, but sometimes I really wonder when will I be able to be and feel "normal" again.
The thought of having sex right now although it is very appealing to me, it seems to still scare me somehow although anxiety has reduced lately. Guess I'm just sad that this happened to me and I'm angry because I let it happen... F*ck PMO! F*ck MO!
On a brighter side, I'm very enthusiastic because tomorrow I'm going for a mountain trip for four days <3 Really think it'll be awesome... Need some time off to reconnect with nature and positive vibes around me! Hope I'll get to visit the forum till I get back though... Seems that this community really helps and there's a lot of nice people around. Feels great to find others going through what you're going...
Well, good night guys, since here is already 1:34 AM! See you soon! Stay strong! Don't give in your urges, they can not control you! Empower yourselves and be the best version of yourselves!
Fight the good fight and remember that the fapper never wins!
At work it appears that I'm more focused, today achieving a much greater number of "bugs" submitted and a joyfulness in doing it. Overall I guess I'm getting more positive and optimistic, but sometimes I really wonder when will I be able to be and feel "normal" again.
The thought of having sex right now although it is very appealing to me, it seems to still scare me somehow although anxiety has reduced lately. Guess I'm just sad that this happened to me and I'm angry because I let it happen... F*ck PMO! F*ck MO!
On a brighter side, I'm very enthusiastic because tomorrow I'm going for a mountain trip for four days <3 Really think it'll be awesome... Need some time off to reconnect with nature and positive vibes around me! Hope I'll get to visit the forum till I get back though... Seems that this community really helps and there's a lot of nice people around. Feels great to find others going through what you're going...
Well, good night guys, since here is already 1:34 AM! See you soon! Stay strong! Don't give in your urges, they can not control you! Empower yourselves and be the best version of yourselves!
Fight the good fight and remember that the fapper never wins!
turnpotential2confidence
Member
noises1990 said:
Sounds like you're on the right track man, seems like you're really doing great. Keep up the good work bro.
Enjoy your mountain trip, I went a few months ago, its was GREAT. Get some hiking in and tell yourself I'm the king of the world when you get to the top
Best of luck man keep focused and stay the course.
iwillprevail
Member
Oh man am I jealous! Its been years since I last went on a camping trip! Make sure to set your tent in a non-rocky area lol.. Peace be upon you.
iwillprevail
Member
P.S. drink plenty of water!
Hey Adrian,
Have a great and safe trip to the mountains, sounds pretty awesome.
I now looked through your whole journal and these are my thoughts.
I relate to your resolve of fighting for your girlfriend. It is also my main motivation to reboot and learn (or maybe discover is a better word) how to truly enjoy sex life.
I might be looking too much into detail here, but is seems to me that you have a recurrent issue with being somewhat dissatisfied with your work. Am I correct? You mentioned it somewhere in your posts, that there are issues at work that bother you. I just wonder whether you feel that this affects you.
I'm only asking because that is some kind of a topic for me. I think some of us who have problems with PMO are probably likely to be dissatisfied with life in general. Work as a pretty important part of most of our lives gets into the picture here. It's also down to the fact that stereotypically we as men are expected to achieve success and achieve it quickly. I think we often think that is what people, and what's most important girls (wives, partners), want from us. This is pretty much living under some kind of pressure that PMO is supposed to relieve, at least to many of our minds: medication PMOing, as they say. Not sure if that is anything that has to do with you? Does it? Maybe there are others out there who have similar thoughts? Actually, this pressure might come from work life, but as well from expectations about how you fare in college or at the university or anyhow.
Have a great and safe trip to the mountains, sounds pretty awesome.
I now looked through your whole journal and these are my thoughts.
I relate to your resolve of fighting for your girlfriend. It is also my main motivation to reboot and learn (or maybe discover is a better word) how to truly enjoy sex life.
I might be looking too much into detail here, but is seems to me that you have a recurrent issue with being somewhat dissatisfied with your work. Am I correct? You mentioned it somewhere in your posts, that there are issues at work that bother you. I just wonder whether you feel that this affects you.
I'm only asking because that is some kind of a topic for me. I think some of us who have problems with PMO are probably likely to be dissatisfied with life in general. Work as a pretty important part of most of our lives gets into the picture here. It's also down to the fact that stereotypically we as men are expected to achieve success and achieve it quickly. I think we often think that is what people, and what's most important girls (wives, partners), want from us. This is pretty much living under some kind of pressure that PMO is supposed to relieve, at least to many of our minds: medication PMOing, as they say. Not sure if that is anything that has to do with you? Does it? Maybe there are others out there who have similar thoughts? Actually, this pressure might come from work life, but as well from expectations about how you fare in college or at the university or anyhow.
Hey there, you are making good progress! Porn will never give the satisfaction we need. We need love and acceptance and even thou porn always accepts us, it never loves us. Its a big show to cover our own fear. What if the pictures could talk to us and tell us we were pathetic? We would probably not look for long. Deep down we know we are good and lovable, but somehow we forget that. Such a big chance we have to get to know ourselves and others more deeply! Also, thanks for being supportive and caring about the rest of us!
noises1990
Active Member
Hey man! Thanks a lot for taking interest in my story. Yeah, I cant say i m totally satisfied with my job. Indeed this could have helped me to PMO excessively. But While on the path to "freedom" i guess i ll learn to enjoy my job more.jkkk said:
Feeling some anxiety now when thinking about PIED, dont know why. Once my PIED will be history I really think that it will relieve stress in other areas too
noises1990
Active Member
Yeah, believe me that I m never returning to my old habbits. Hell no! Even if my gf leaves me now due to my "issue" (i would not judge her for doing so) i m not gonna start PMOing again...SETI said:
Main thing now is to recover (hope it happens). Thank you man! I want this recover to happen for all of us... We all know how it feels dealing with it so we need to be there for eachother in our times of need
noises1990
Active Member
I want to thank all of you for the kind words. You people are awesome and give me hope.
The mountain trip is awesome, no intent to PMO whatsoever. I do crave some sex but I dont want to do anything so early in the process. Plus, i still get a bit of anxiety around new girls. Guess PA would be deff there.
The mountain trip is awesome, no intent to PMO whatsoever. I do crave some sex but I dont want to do anything so early in the process. Plus, i still get a bit of anxiety around new girls. Guess PA would be deff there.
Discipline
Member
Hey thanks for your kind words on my journal.
Seems like you're making good progress. Congratulations!
Seems like you're making good progress. Congratulations!