noises1990 said:
Yeah well... shit... 2014's not a good year so far... Best friend died, lost lots of money moving with a girlfriend that soon left, PIED and now my grandfather had a cerebral stroke. Fck, this year is messed up. No intention whatsoever to PMO.
2014's not gonna be a good year... Don't know if I actually feel lost or just a bit hopeful through all this messed up shit...
Hope you guys are doing better and that recovery's hittin you people like a truck! Stay strong, stay optimistic brothers!
To me the fact that you are bringing this out here is the best evidence that you are on the good route. If you can speak about difficult experiences and emotions, it means you are in touch with yourself and that is extremely important.
noises1990 said:
As for my journal entry:
Well, guess things are going well. Random boners have appeared, and I do get erections if a very hot hot girl (cleavage or really tight pants) is in my presence... Don't know if it's a good thing or not though xD.
Anyways, last night got a bit drunk and smoked some weed so when I got home I just browsed through two profiles on Facebook. But I was looking for cuteness, not sexy hot pics (at least that's what I am telling myself).
Gotta use Facebook less because lately I have not been so closed-minded to arousing content at work or at home! But if I want this to fully work, I must abstain from any sexual/hot/arousing content.
Today had a nice MW when I woke up, so things downstairs I guess they're allrighty- on the good path! Also, I've noticed that I'm more confident with people and I can make and stand by my point! Also, I've become a bit of a bad-ass, don't know if people enjoy this, but I kinda like that I'm not that mr nice guy anymore! Proving my point and staying hardcore in front of people seems somewhat important right now.
The only problem now is the anxiety... I know I can get 100% boners from sensation only (tested a week ago and wrote about it in the journal) but what if I fail with my girlfriend? What if I fail when it comes to a real woman? This fear kinda keeps me down most of the time... Gotta find some way to overcome it!
Any ideas? Any suggestions?
I just wrote in Shaft's journal yesterday about how some of us, PMO addicts, might perceive "standard sexual performance"... It's easier said than done, that's for sure.
I am not sure if I can offer you some genuine hope. Shaft wrote in his journal that just rebooting might not be enough to overcome anxiety. I'm afraid that there is something to it.
When I think of my PE problem, I think it performance anxiety driven as well. Now that PE happens so often, the anxiety is only reinforced.
I still think, though, that I haven't given myself a really long shot at the reboot. I mean really a long shot - 6 months at least. I just started three weeks ago. It's not enough, I think, to see effects. I had PMO issues since the age of 10, so I know my brain is chemically imbalanced. I really wonder if I am able to achieve a lasting rebalance and get rid of all the PMO effects. I try to cling on to hope and I tell myself that the only thing I can do is just hang on to the reboot.
So, Adrian, my point is - well, give the reboot a chance. Seriously, at this point maybe not much can be done. If a genuine long reboot won't help, look for other solutions.
And ditch Fb, mate!
BTW -> getting drunk too often or smoking might not help, right? I don't want to patronize you, I like to drink every now and then, in good company, it's fun. But I have experienced no later than two weeks ago that when drunk, a PMO addict stears to satisfy his addiction. We really must be aware...
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