Hey bro,
It's been a while.
I'm very sad for your grandfather. I can relate to you very much - my grandfather died exactly a few weeks after I started my first reboot. I was mentally in pieces with the reboot and then his death just all screwed it even further. It was not him that I was crying about that much, though, I cried because of myself. I was crying over myself.
With your MO: don't get let down. You're doing great in spite of adverse circumstances.
Look, it seems you are really stressed now. Grandfather's death, your girlfriend is far away, you're starting therapy. Its a lot, really a lot. So first, accept my congratulations that you're soldiering on. Second - no wonder you're not at your prime with regard to reboot. I think it's far to say it's just a more testing period.
With PA - I think it really may subside with a long reboot. There will be a moment in the reboot when you will start feeling in control again, in control with yourself. Just stick to the rules, stick to the reboot. It will also probably take more than 90 days - you're from my generation, bro. We raised with P, you know that very well. We need months to really feel any difference, and then even more months to make those gains stable.
Do you remember what happened before you MO'd? What were you thinking of? How did you feel? Did you consider writing here before you MO'd or not? Actually I can see you did... It's a pity maybe that no one responded - such cry-out messages happen here every now and then, maybe your's could have been more specific?
Clenbuterol - Adrian, please, for God's sake, drop it mate. Make two more running work-outs in a week (mixed intensity: sprint-standard run-hill-sprint and so on), but drop this. It will not help you in the long-term, there are simply issues that are more important than just burning-workout, you know that. I'm not saying - do not train. Train even more, but ditch those chemicals, bro!
