A Good Path for Me!
- Thread starter fcjl8
- Start date
SlaveToRighteousness
Active Member
fcjl8 said:
That's really great. Those of us who made it through a PMO addiction without losing our wives are very fortunate.
Viper
Well-Known Member
fcjl8 said:
I saw the numbers and I'm thinking that the 20's age bracket have more members but correct me if I'm wrong, are you observing the lack of frequency that the 40's members post?
Because our bracket does have a respectable amount of members but only several post every day.
In my opinion, I think the ones that come around a lot get a bunch of replies. But if someone is
new and they pour their heart and soul out to this board beaming with activity, just to come back
couple days later with no responses or maybe one, that can be discouraging.
fcjl8
Active Member
A little bit of work stress but no urge whatsoever to use porn or masturbate. I am solid in my resolve to never go there again.
I had a great time at church yesterday morning with my son. Incredibly inspiring service just full of the Spirit. This was really good for me.
It is supposed to snow tonight! Thought we were into spring finally but apparently not yet?
Had a positive meeting with a client tonight and have one set up for Wednesday, a neat race car project. I am pretty lucky! My cold is clearing up finally!
I had a great time at church yesterday morning with my son. Incredibly inspiring service just full of the Spirit. This was really good for me.
It is supposed to snow tonight! Thought we were into spring finally but apparently not yet?
Had a positive meeting with a client tonight and have one set up for Wednesday, a neat race car project. I am pretty lucky! My cold is clearing up finally!
F
Freethinker
Guest
FC,
Glad to hear you're doing well both spiritually and physically. I'm not very spiritual but my wife is and I enjoy going to Sunday service with her for the fellowship and listening to the pastor's message, which is always encouraging. Best of luck on the work projects. Stay warm.
Glad to hear you're doing well both spiritually and physically. I'm not very spiritual but my wife is and I enjoy going to Sunday service with her for the fellowship and listening to the pastor's message, which is always encouraging. Best of luck on the work projects. Stay warm.
fcjl8
Active Member
A really challenging work project has been made a bit simpler for now. That is a big relief. I have some outdoor work coming up but we got SNOW! Today, our new ice age seems relentless. We have had a garden going in years past.
Going up to my men's group dinner in a few minutes and off to visit the race car shop tomorrow regarding work and my graphics proposals.
Was so seriously downhearted yesterday, still not really sure why? I guess just some blues??
Strong in resolve to maintain my sobriety!
Going up to my men's group dinner in a few minutes and off to visit the race car shop tomorrow regarding work and my graphics proposals.
Was so seriously downhearted yesterday, still not really sure why? I guess just some blues??
Strong in resolve to maintain my sobriety!
fcjl8
Active Member
Men's group dinner the other night was just awesome! Great fellowship and sharing. I am so lucky!
We should be right in spring but we are still sub freezing temps and snow the last two days???? Not nice, probably having some affect on my moods. I'm also really into the lenten journey this year, 40 days of meditations and reflection, I have never done this before, it is a sad march and might be affecting me. I am glad to have chosen to follow lent this year but it is kind of heavy.
No P urges, in fact I am just so repulsed by even the thought, I mean just the thought of the topic, not thinking of actual P. I think I have made big breakthroughs now, I am not white knuckling as my whole connection between my true self and that horrible P world has finally separated, for good!
Good Friday service in the morning accompanied by my beautiful wife!
We should be right in spring but we are still sub freezing temps and snow the last two days???? Not nice, probably having some affect on my moods. I'm also really into the lenten journey this year, 40 days of meditations and reflection, I have never done this before, it is a sad march and might be affecting me. I am glad to have chosen to follow lent this year but it is kind of heavy.
No P urges, in fact I am just so repulsed by even the thought, I mean just the thought of the topic, not thinking of actual P. I think I have made big breakthroughs now, I am not white knuckling as my whole connection between my true self and that horrible P world has finally separated, for good!
Good Friday service in the morning accompanied by my beautiful wife!
F
Freethinker
Guest
fcjl8 said:
As someone who was raised Catholic ( 10 yrs. Catholic school also), I relate to your spiritual walk this week. I hope "holy week" has been a soothing and uplifting week for you.
It's encouraging to hear of your breakthroughs regarding your porn related perceptions. I think repulsion, while usually a very negative emotion, is having a decidedly positive affect for you in this case. I hope to be repulsed by all of it one day instead of excited, which is still the case. I hope you have a blessed Easter.
LetItGoAlready
Active Member
This really does sound like a breakthrough moment for you, Paul. Congratulations on getting to this point!
jstatca
Member
Hey guys, I'm going to jump in for a second cause I can relate.
The last several months I just found PMO boring. It didn't really excite me at much at all it was just the same ol sites, same ol images, same ol girls, but I did it because I thought it would relax me or just to kill some time cause I was bored or in some cases feeling down about myself (body, life, work) and needed something to take my mind off things.
Each time over the past several months or probably close to a year, I kept asking myself why am I doing this still? It's not that much fun anymore! But like a loser, I just kept on doing the same ol thing and getting the same ol results - the very definition of insanity!
It wasn't until I see the 16X9 documentary on TV about PIED that the light finally came on for me. I believe this is why it hasn't been too terribly difficult to get on my current PMO free streak b/c I'm not giving up that much pleasure anymore just a habit really. I'm finding it more pleasurable seeing my counter keep on climbing higher and getting more optimistic with finally being healthy and functional again.
I hope I'm not naive in my thinking and what really happened was I got desensitized and soon would be looking for even more crazy PMO stuff if I had stumbled across the 16X9 show but either way I know I am a simple person at my core and I only do things that are fun, make me happy, and hopefully others at the same time too, so that's why I feel the PMO stuff is not that great a challenge at least at this moment in time.
Time will reveal that I'm sure but I'm very grateful for this site and you all on here as I can spend my time typing and responding to you guys rather than wasting away surfing P and MO'ing in front of the computer.
I feel somewhat liberated at this early stage and don't miss it that much - I wonder if in my road to recovery there will be stages where urges will strike hard and this is just a bit of a 'honeymoon' period away from it?
Thanks boys!
The last several months I just found PMO boring. It didn't really excite me at much at all it was just the same ol sites, same ol images, same ol girls, but I did it because I thought it would relax me or just to kill some time cause I was bored or in some cases feeling down about myself (body, life, work) and needed something to take my mind off things.
Each time over the past several months or probably close to a year, I kept asking myself why am I doing this still? It's not that much fun anymore! But like a loser, I just kept on doing the same ol thing and getting the same ol results - the very definition of insanity!
It wasn't until I see the 16X9 documentary on TV about PIED that the light finally came on for me. I believe this is why it hasn't been too terribly difficult to get on my current PMO free streak b/c I'm not giving up that much pleasure anymore just a habit really. I'm finding it more pleasurable seeing my counter keep on climbing higher and getting more optimistic with finally being healthy and functional again.
I hope I'm not naive in my thinking and what really happened was I got desensitized and soon would be looking for even more crazy PMO stuff if I had stumbled across the 16X9 show but either way I know I am a simple person at my core and I only do things that are fun, make me happy, and hopefully others at the same time too, so that's why I feel the PMO stuff is not that great a challenge at least at this moment in time.
Time will reveal that I'm sure but I'm very grateful for this site and you all on here as I can spend my time typing and responding to you guys rather than wasting away surfing P and MO'ing in front of the computer.
I feel somewhat liberated at this early stage and don't miss it that much - I wonder if in my road to recovery there will be stages where urges will strike hard and this is just a bit of a 'honeymoon' period away from it?
Thanks boys!
fcjl8
Active Member
Funny, things are good in my "resolve" not to use P and M, maybe the strongest I have ever felt.
I am however dealing with some really strong anxiety and maybe depression. Almost a feeling of despair?? I am leaning on my Faith, God is pretty much getting me up and moving a lot of the time. So I am lucky to have my Faith or I don't know where I might be.
Going to see my doctor this week. she put me on small dose SSRI two years ago when I was in a similar place. I am generally substance adverse and these drugs worry me?? I took it for about 6 months and then weened off it.
It is a painful choice , why does a man who wants to be a better citizen of this planet and has Faith need mood altering medication? Am I that badly broken? I sometimes wonder if I have really serious mental illness??
I am however dealing with some really strong anxiety and maybe depression. Almost a feeling of despair?? I am leaning on my Faith, God is pretty much getting me up and moving a lot of the time. So I am lucky to have my Faith or I don't know where I might be.
Going to see my doctor this week. she put me on small dose SSRI two years ago when I was in a similar place. I am generally substance adverse and these drugs worry me?? I took it for about 6 months and then weened off it.
It is a painful choice , why does a man who wants to be a better citizen of this planet and has Faith need mood altering medication? Am I that badly broken? I sometimes wonder if I have really serious mental illness??
A lot of us here at RN seem to be cut from the same bolt of cloth. We tend to be somewhat sensitive, introspective people and we live in a world that turns predatory when it sees people of that ilk. I have to take an SSRI myself. I've tried weaning my self more than once and the symptoms of depression make themselves known the minute I do.fcjl8 said:
Overall, I think that I'm a pretty decent guy. I add value to the world in which I live. With that in mind, I can indulge myself a $9.00 per month prescription that, for myself, has no side effects and I don't feel drugged.
LetItGoAlready
Active Member
Paul, it pains me to hear you ask this question, because it sounds like you're holding yourself up to an ideal that doesn't actually exist. When I look around, I see a lot of emotionally-damaged people with issues that range across a wide spectrum, from mild idiosynchratic quirks to full-blown mental illness. The "badly broken" ones are beyond saving. They have been abandoned by the mental health system, are slaves to drug and alcohol addiction, can't hold down jobs or steady relationships, etc. I see these people every day wandering the streets of my neighborhood. The vast majority of them are homeless and have nowhere else to go.
I guess it all comes down to perspective, but from where I sit, you are far from "broken." If anything, asking for help when you feel you need it is a sign that your brain is in good working order.
Stay well, friend!
somethingelse
Member
fcjl8 said:
Man is not God, we're dependent no matter if it's on other people/ favourable circumstances/ prayers. You're not broken Paul, life is mood altering, broken people are resigned to their situation. On the other hand, You kicked pmo. You're journal from what I've read is overwhelmingly positive, but for the most sincere and real.