I'll do my best. Keep in mind I'm not a trained professional. I'm only speaking from my experience and the treatment program I went through. The basic idea is that it is very common for us to create predictable patterns that we act out when certain triggers are present--that is essentially the Cycle. So, for me when my anxiety reached a certain point my mind/body sought relief. The relief, albeit temporary and unhealthy, was PMO. So I developed a routine--anxiety would Trigger the desire for PMO; I would assess my access to P and my availability to Act Out (Am I home alone? When will my wife be home?, etc.); If the coast was clear I would grab my iPad and start going to my favorite web site; I would Act Out (PMO); I would delete my web history and try to cover my tracks; I would take a shower and then find some house chore to do to try to move on from the shame and/or guilt of acting out. That is essentially my Cycle.
Understanding this early on in Treatment allowed me to become mindful of my Cycle. The reality was, and I'm sure lots of guys can relate to this, I felt like I was on Autopilot and completely in a zoned-out state of mind when I acted out. How many times would I be at the end (O) and say to myself, "How did I get here? Why did I just act out?" That was the mindlessness of Cycling. Raising my awareness brought me out of that state when I would contemplate acting out and beginning a Cycle.
Working backwards came next, and I spent months unpacking the source of my Anxiety. There were several Problematic Core Beliefs that drove my Anxiety. Understanding my Cycle was huge, but in the end I needed to understand the Root/Core issues that fed my Anxiety. I can share those with you too, but I need to close for now.
I hope that all makes sense!
