Coming to some difficult conclusions
- Thread starter Tclay
- Start date
Wanttobebetter
Member
But still 54 and counting. Well done!
savingmysoul
Active Member
Hi TClay,
Have been reading through your journal, and congrats on your success. Stay focused, and you will beat this.
If i may ask, i am interested hearing about your PIED. if this was a problem for you - as it is me - i would love to hear what you did to help get you through this. I feel that i may have turned a corner these past few weeks - but my wife and still don't really understand which is better - abstaining or continuing to rewire with each other.
Any thoughts or advice you can offer would be great - again congrats on your success.
stay strong
SMS
Have been reading through your journal, and congrats on your success. Stay focused, and you will beat this.
If i may ask, i am interested hearing about your PIED. if this was a problem for you - as it is me - i would love to hear what you did to help get you through this. I feel that i may have turned a corner these past few weeks - but my wife and still don't really understand which is better - abstaining or continuing to rewire with each other.
Any thoughts or advice you can offer would be great - again congrats on your success.
stay strong
SMS
Tclay
Active Member
savingmysoul
Yes PIED is an issue but it seems to be receding. I had used porn for years and had no plans to stop. Unfortunately, I think my age started to catch up with me and the combination of growing old and porn knocked me down. I was in this reduced sexual function for 11 yrs, and he got real bad (non-existent) in the last couple years. I had no problem getting wood with porn but could not with my wife.
I finally came across YBOP late last yr and tried to change but failed (many times). Signed on to the forum in January, got some good advise on managing the addiction, good advise on reading material...
I can't say I've recovered completely. My wife and I made love quite a bit. 6-8 times a month for a long time though our marriage and we are not there yet. We might not get back to that frequency as we are both in our fifties. Also, I can't say I am entirely free of that PMO pull either as it comes into my head now and then... Especially when tired and stressed. All I can say is that I reached a point where Russell showed up late at night and early morning unsolicited. I continued to nurture the idea of trying again with my wife, and one night it all came together. Addressing PMO is the 3rd addiction I have addressed, #1. Alcohol (7 yrs free), #2. Food (lost 75lbs in 6 yrs) and #3. PMO. I exercise like a fiend now to relieve stress so I reduce my reliance on PMO as a stress relief mechanism.
I understand that I am more fortunate then most. I can't say its because of something I did. I can't be commended for achieving the extended discipline like a lot of you guys can and I solute you with my whole heart, believe me. But something clicked, and I am so very very grateful.
Reading and acting on the book Breaking the Cycle ... by Collins at the the advise of LTE et. al. had a profound influence. The tools described therein are employed by myself (even today I contended with objectifying a woman) .
So there ... I'm still on the path and fully aware that if I let my guard down, I fall down.
I guarantee giving up PMO will work... You will be a much more together person and friend, I just can't say when things will shift for you but keep on the path. Hope this helps.
Yes PIED is an issue but it seems to be receding. I had used porn for years and had no plans to stop. Unfortunately, I think my age started to catch up with me and the combination of growing old and porn knocked me down. I was in this reduced sexual function for 11 yrs, and he got real bad (non-existent) in the last couple years. I had no problem getting wood with porn but could not with my wife.
I finally came across YBOP late last yr and tried to change but failed (many times). Signed on to the forum in January, got some good advise on managing the addiction, good advise on reading material...
I can't say I've recovered completely. My wife and I made love quite a bit. 6-8 times a month for a long time though our marriage and we are not there yet. We might not get back to that frequency as we are both in our fifties. Also, I can't say I am entirely free of that PMO pull either as it comes into my head now and then... Especially when tired and stressed. All I can say is that I reached a point where Russell showed up late at night and early morning unsolicited. I continued to nurture the idea of trying again with my wife, and one night it all came together. Addressing PMO is the 3rd addiction I have addressed, #1. Alcohol (7 yrs free), #2. Food (lost 75lbs in 6 yrs) and #3. PMO. I exercise like a fiend now to relieve stress so I reduce my reliance on PMO as a stress relief mechanism.
I understand that I am more fortunate then most. I can't say its because of something I did. I can't be commended for achieving the extended discipline like a lot of you guys can and I solute you with my whole heart, believe me. But something clicked, and I am so very very grateful.
Reading and acting on the book Breaking the Cycle ... by Collins at the the advise of LTE et. al. had a profound influence. The tools described therein are employed by myself (even today I contended with objectifying a woman) .
So there ... I'm still on the path and fully aware that if I let my guard down, I fall down.
I guarantee giving up PMO will work... You will be a much more together person and friend, I just can't say when things will shift for you but keep on the path. Hope this helps.
Tclay
Active Member
Objectifying v Appreciating the beauty of a women...
I don't know but I think it's related to greed. The looking coupled with wanting is where I get in trouble. Appreciation by itself seems ok.
Hmmm, the latter sounds like a huge loop-hole that I could abuse. Gotta to sort that out.
I don't know but I think it's related to greed. The looking coupled with wanting is where I get in trouble. Appreciation by itself seems ok.
Hmmm, the latter sounds like a huge loop-hole that I could abuse. Gotta to sort that out.
savingmysoul
Active Member
Hey Tclay,
Take this for a learning experience, you may be back to zero days but you are not back to ground zero. You were able to have good success before, you certainly can do it again - and continue forward.
It is a long journey, one day at a time.
Hang tough - you will beat this.
Take this for a learning experience, you may be back to zero days but you are not back to ground zero. You were able to have good success before, you certainly can do it again - and continue forward.
It is a long journey, one day at a time.
Hang tough - you will beat this.
savingmysoul
Active Member
pissed of can be a good thing.
Hope your still staying strong.
Hope your still staying strong.