PeaceOfMind062012
Active Member
Just a question to ya?ll for clarification ? on the spreadsheet PMO stands for Porn-Masturbation-Orgasm, and MO stands for Masturbation-Orgasm right? I just wanna make sure I know whats up ?
-Peace
-Peace
Finally moving towards recovery!
- Thread starter PeaceOfMind062012
- Start date
Faptain America
Member
Hey Homie, where you at?
-The Faptain
-The Faptain
PeaceOfMind062012
Active Member
Hello Rebooters!
Hey Faptain! <--- Thanks for checking in with me brother! It means a lot to me; I'm actually doing ok these days! I will be posting again when I can find the time
It's been a little while since my last post, but that's only cuz my life situation has been quite busy (basically the same intro as the last post I made! lol). But other than that, it's pretty good! I haven't relapsed since April 28, which will soon be three weeks! I know that that's only a drop in the bucket, but I'm still very positive and happy about this record. I've been M a little bit here and there, but I'm trying to not do that to much either to just give my brain a rest and try to re-wire towards real women!
It's funny; even just coming online to write some emails and this post, I could feel little urges coming up from the trigger of opening up my computer late at night, and alone! It just shows how deep that wiring is! However, I'm doing ok. I want to try and get involved with a partner in the next little if I can. Who knows what will happen, but I think it will be good for my reboot process to be with a real person and start experiencing real sex and real interactions.
Like I said, I'm super busy these days, I just started a new job, so that?s totally awesome! Lots to learn, and it's great to have something else to focus on, you know, like to shift your focus? I think that's what it's really all about- replacing our obsession with P with other things! We can't get rid of this addiction just by wishing it away. We need to put new positive, beneficial things in the void that is left by it.
I would love to write a longer post, but I'm pressed for time! Just know that overall I'm doing well! But also, that making these posts IS really important to me, that?s why I made to time to do it tonight. I'm sincerely hoping that I will be able to make this shift away from P in a very serious and permanent way.
Much love to you all!!
-Peace
Hey Faptain! <--- Thanks for checking in with me brother! It means a lot to me; I'm actually doing ok these days! I will be posting again when I can find the time
It's been a little while since my last post, but that's only cuz my life situation has been quite busy (basically the same intro as the last post I made! lol). But other than that, it's pretty good! I haven't relapsed since April 28, which will soon be three weeks! I know that that's only a drop in the bucket, but I'm still very positive and happy about this record. I've been M a little bit here and there, but I'm trying to not do that to much either to just give my brain a rest and try to re-wire towards real women!
It's funny; even just coming online to write some emails and this post, I could feel little urges coming up from the trigger of opening up my computer late at night, and alone! It just shows how deep that wiring is! However, I'm doing ok. I want to try and get involved with a partner in the next little if I can. Who knows what will happen, but I think it will be good for my reboot process to be with a real person and start experiencing real sex and real interactions.
Like I said, I'm super busy these days, I just started a new job, so that?s totally awesome! Lots to learn, and it's great to have something else to focus on, you know, like to shift your focus? I think that's what it's really all about- replacing our obsession with P with other things! We can't get rid of this addiction just by wishing it away. We need to put new positive, beneficial things in the void that is left by it.
I would love to write a longer post, but I'm pressed for time! Just know that overall I'm doing well! But also, that making these posts IS really important to me, that?s why I made to time to do it tonight. I'm sincerely hoping that I will be able to make this shift away from P in a very serious and permanent way.
Much love to you all!!
-Peace
PeaceOfMind062012
Active Member
Hey Ya'll,
Just gonna write a post to check in and stay connected to the community.
Today was good - no relapses, or even urges really, so that?s awesome! I guess you could say that I'm going through the flatline again, but it's not totally bad cuz I just started this new job and moved to a new place, so that?s keeping me occupied and focused on other things. Over all, my life situation is good!
It's funny thought; although I haven't relapsed in the last little while, I know that the right set of circumstances will come along at some point and I'll have to be ready, and make some strategies to deal with it in advance.
There's a pretty girl who works down the street who I haven?t met yet, but I want to! I was going to go introduce myself tonight, but I chickened out. Oh well, there's always time right? I want to be with a real woman, but I'm a little afraid - what if I can't get it up? Or what if I?m not really interested? I think mostly it will be a good thing to be with a real woman for my reboot process, but I'm not really looking for just sex - I'm looking for a deeper connection, I feel. I also like several women all at the same time, and I kind of feel bad about that, but I think that polyamoury might be something I could try, just to see what it's like to hook up with multiple partners, as long as I was honest with everybody. Anyway, I guess I should just take one person at a time (since I'm not even with anybody right now! lol). I guess one of my fears is also that I'll meet and get to know a person and then find out that I don't like her a whole lot, but I guess that's just a fear that could keep me from acting and that is also just a bridge that I'll have to cross when I come to it. I shouldn't be afraid to meet and get to know someone I'm attracted to.
Here's to saying goodbye to the days of PMO-ing alone, and to saying hello to the days of making real love to a real partner who I love, and to interacting more with the real world from a real place in my heart!!
Tryin' to keep it real!
Stay strong everybody!
-Peace
Just gonna write a post to check in and stay connected to the community.
Today was good - no relapses, or even urges really, so that?s awesome! I guess you could say that I'm going through the flatline again, but it's not totally bad cuz I just started this new job and moved to a new place, so that?s keeping me occupied and focused on other things. Over all, my life situation is good!
It's funny thought; although I haven't relapsed in the last little while, I know that the right set of circumstances will come along at some point and I'll have to be ready, and make some strategies to deal with it in advance.
There's a pretty girl who works down the street who I haven?t met yet, but I want to! I was going to go introduce myself tonight, but I chickened out. Oh well, there's always time right? I want to be with a real woman, but I'm a little afraid - what if I can't get it up? Or what if I?m not really interested? I think mostly it will be a good thing to be with a real woman for my reboot process, but I'm not really looking for just sex - I'm looking for a deeper connection, I feel. I also like several women all at the same time, and I kind of feel bad about that, but I think that polyamoury might be something I could try, just to see what it's like to hook up with multiple partners, as long as I was honest with everybody. Anyway, I guess I should just take one person at a time (since I'm not even with anybody right now! lol). I guess one of my fears is also that I'll meet and get to know a person and then find out that I don't like her a whole lot, but I guess that's just a fear that could keep me from acting and that is also just a bridge that I'll have to cross when I come to it. I shouldn't be afraid to meet and get to know someone I'm attracted to.
Here's to saying goodbye to the days of PMO-ing alone, and to saying hello to the days of making real love to a real partner who I love, and to interacting more with the real world from a real place in my heart!!
Tryin' to keep it real!
Stay strong everybody!
-Peace
PeaceOfMind062012
Active Member
Hey Everybody!
Last night I woke up in the middle of the night with an erection (not exactly morning wood, but midnight wood I guess you could say), and I was thinking about this woman that I have a good relationship with who has a really powerful liberated sexual energy, and I just started M-ing, like I was quite turned on in fantasizing, and it just lasted 5 minutes. I O-ed and then it was over. It was kind of nice actually. That was the first time I O-ed in 5 days, and it was just nice to have a really intense M session where I'm quite turned on, quick O, and then it's over. Does anybody ever have that where they wake up in the middle of the night with a really hard erection and then M and then go back to sleep?
-Peace
Last night I woke up in the middle of the night with an erection (not exactly morning wood, but midnight wood I guess you could say), and I was thinking about this woman that I have a good relationship with who has a really powerful liberated sexual energy, and I just started M-ing, like I was quite turned on in fantasizing, and it just lasted 5 minutes. I O-ed and then it was over. It was kind of nice actually. That was the first time I O-ed in 5 days, and it was just nice to have a really intense M session where I'm quite turned on, quick O, and then it's over. Does anybody ever have that where they wake up in the middle of the night with a really hard erection and then M and then go back to sleep?
-Peace
PeaceOfMind062012
Active Member
Hello fellow fapstronauts!
Well it's been a bit of time since I've made a post or been active on this site, but it's not for lack of wanting to- as I've mentioned in my two previous posts, my life in the past three weeks has been hella busy!!! I moved to a new local, got a new apartment, and got a new job, so I haven't had time to write much
Anyway, things are mostly good! I haven't pmo-ed since a little less than a month now, and only having an O every 2 to 4 days, and it's only with using my hand and each session lasts only 10-15 minutes. Just continuing to move forward with my reboot. I'm trying to take on new activities, and actually with this new job, and this new place to live I feel that I am taking on new activities and having new experiences, even if I'm not necessarily opening up a gym membership (if ya know what I mean I am playing my guitar a lot more though! I'm pretty psyched about that! Anybody know the brain science on playing instruments? Is it basically the same thing as starting to exercise more and what not, with the building new pathways and such? (That's what I'm assuming). Oh, and I'm also being fairly consistent with doing my morning exercises (some push ups, other core exercises and some stretches).
So I'm pretty damn psyched about my recovery!!! However, I know that P addiction is a sneaky motherfucker and that it can sneak back in the back door as soon as I let my guard down, or think that I've gotten it beaten for good. I know that will almost never be the case, and that I will have to be vigilant for a very long time!!
Oh, PS , the new place that I moved to is FULL of smoking hot babes, who are also conscious and aware (which is a really nice combination), and I think a few of them might want to get with me! So that's a really really nice thing to reinforce my recovery: real women who are attractive, and intelligent, and who are interested in me! One thing I was thinking about last night is that before I started my reboot, my sex drive was being depleted SO MUCH, that even when I came into contact with these same caliber of good looking ladies, I wasn't really turned on at all!! Crazy hey? But now, I am definitely starting to be more interested in these attractive and awesome women! I haven't really hooked up with anyone yet, but a few have caught my eye, and I'm definitely looking forward to when it happens !!
Here's a thought about P that I had a few months ago that I want to share: When I watch P, I often times feel disgusted, and gross and almost a little traumatized afterwards. I was thinking that after watching P, I've basically just witnessed a sexual assault, or something pretty close to it (especially after watching the stuff that tends to glorify being violent in sex, or deceiving women to get sex, or objectifying women- which, let's face it, is a pretty big percentage of the stuff out there). Just a thought that I had. It's like, this stuff is not just neutral stuff we're watching, and we the watchers are not just lifeless objects who are not affected by this stuff- we are sensitive human beings who are deeply affected when we see something that is wrong on some level.
Any thoughts?
Much love fapstronauts! I'm out!!
-Peace
Well it's been a bit of time since I've made a post or been active on this site, but it's not for lack of wanting to- as I've mentioned in my two previous posts, my life in the past three weeks has been hella busy!!! I moved to a new local, got a new apartment, and got a new job, so I haven't had time to write much
Anyway, things are mostly good! I haven't pmo-ed since a little less than a month now, and only having an O every 2 to 4 days, and it's only with using my hand and each session lasts only 10-15 minutes. Just continuing to move forward with my reboot. I'm trying to take on new activities, and actually with this new job, and this new place to live I feel that I am taking on new activities and having new experiences, even if I'm not necessarily opening up a gym membership (if ya know what I mean
I am playing my guitar a lot more though! I'm pretty psyched about that! Anybody know the brain science on playing instruments? Is it basically the same thing as starting to exercise more and what not, with the building new pathways and such? (That's what I'm assuming). Oh, and I'm also being fairly consistent with doing my morning exercises (some push ups, other core exercises and some stretches). So I'm pretty damn psyched about my recovery!!! However, I know that P addiction is a sneaky motherfucker and that it can sneak back in the back door as soon as I let my guard down, or think that I've gotten it beaten for good. I know that will almost never be the case, and that I will have to be vigilant for a very long time!!
Oh, PS , the new place that I moved to is FULL of smoking hot babes, who are also conscious and aware (which is a really nice combination), and I think a few of them might want to get with me! So that's a really really nice thing to reinforce my recovery: real women who are attractive, and intelligent, and who are interested in me! One thing I was thinking about last night is that before I started my reboot, my sex drive was being depleted SO MUCH, that even when I came into contact with these same caliber of good looking ladies, I wasn't really turned on at all!! Crazy hey? But now, I am definitely starting to be more interested in these attractive and awesome women! I haven't really hooked up with anyone yet, but a few have caught my eye, and I'm definitely looking forward to when it happens !!
Here's a thought about P that I had a few months ago that I want to share: When I watch P, I often times feel disgusted, and gross and almost a little traumatized afterwards. I was thinking that after watching P, I've basically just witnessed a sexual assault, or something pretty close to it (especially after watching the stuff that tends to glorify being violent in sex, or deceiving women to get sex, or objectifying women- which, let's face it, is a pretty big percentage of the stuff out there). Just a thought that I had. It's like, this stuff is not just neutral stuff we're watching, and we the watchers are not just lifeless objects who are not affected by this stuff- we are sensitive human beings who are deeply affected when we see something that is wrong on some level.
Any thoughts?
Much love fapstronauts! I'm out!!
-Peace
achilles heel
Well-Known Member
Glad to read about your momentum, keep it going and stay aware if the addiction tries to sneak through the backdoor!
I totally agree on that and wonder how long it might take to get this shit out of my head. To overwrite and leave it behind. Probably never, I know, but I hope to be able to at least bury these memories deep enough. You described it very well using "traumatized" because that's what most of us on here are. Sometimes I wonder about the effects of internet porn on society in general. We're the few ones who actually found out about the damage done, the vast majority still might consider violent porn to be random entertainment.
PeaceOfMind062012 said:
I totally agree on that and wonder how long it might take to get this shit out of my head. To overwrite and leave it behind. Probably never, I know, but I hope to be able to at least bury these memories deep enough. You described it very well using "traumatized" because that's what most of us on here are. Sometimes I wonder about the effects of internet porn on society in general. We're the few ones who actually found out about the damage done, the vast majority still might consider violent porn to be random entertainment.
PeaceOfMind062012
Active Member
Yes Achilles!! I totally agree with you. I think because this is almost an 'invisible crisis' people are really unaware of it, and don't take it seriously in how it can mold our sexual tastes (say toward violent tendencies). It's scares me a little bit when I think about some of the stuff that still turns me on even though I don't necessarily want it to turn me on. Lately when certain things pop into my head that I feel ashamed and creepy for being turned on by, I try remember that "this is just a thought passing through my mind, just like any other thought, and only if I dwell on it and really resist it will it stay". Because what tends to happen is that my psyche is basically split into two- one side is devilishly turned on by it, and the other is saying "oh god isn't this horrible?" And by going back and forth between the two sides of my psyche, one side resisting the other, I stay stuck in it!!! Whereas if I just say "hey, this is just another thought, even though It SEEMS way worse (which makes me focus on it more), it is just a thought that I can let pass out of my mind, just like my thoughts about my plans for tomorrow, or my thoughts about the fact that I should call my mom, or the thoughts that wonder if that pretty girl is interested in me
Thank you so so so much for commenting on my page and keeping me active and accountable it means the world to me.
Right now I'm doing ok with my recovery, but I know that if I'm in the wrong set of circumstances, I could easily slip back into a relapse. I'm trying to stay VERY alert and aware, and humble, cuz I find that combination works best to reinforce my recovery.
Much love!!!
-Peace
Thank you so so so much for commenting on my page and keeping me active and accountable
it means the world to me. Right now I'm doing ok with my recovery, but I know that if I'm in the wrong set of circumstances, I could easily slip back into a relapse. I'm trying to stay VERY alert and aware, and humble, cuz I find that combination works best to reinforce my recovery.
Much love!!!
-Peace
PeaceOfMind062012
Active Member
Hello brothers and sisters,
Well here I am tonight, and I'm dealing with urges. It's funny: I think that it's always after about a month of not PMO-Ing that I (and I think many others) are hit with hardcore urges. It's like my brain is saying "ok, I've been a good boy, now let me have some pleasure". But if we let it in, then we're not truly breaking through ? and on some level, I really do want to break through. It's been 20 bloody years of this godamned rubbish, and I really do want to move on. However, it is extremely difficult to get past that month (or whatever period of time is your personal cycle for this phenomenon). It's like we have tons of conviction in the beginning, but then by about a months amount of time, our resolve starts to falter and then we fall down.
I'm observing my own patterns, and noticing some things. Here are some of them: one of my triggers is actually when I'm having a good time/feeling good (as opposed to feeling bad, which is what is more often a trigger for me and other people). But after I've been not watching P for say a month, the addiction can use almost anything to trick you back into watching P. In my case, it can be feeling good. I guess in a way, my brain is saying "ok, I've been so good for awhile that I deserve a reward" (basically the same thing I said earlier, lol).
Another trigger for me is watching any sort of Internet video late in the evening. I guess my brain just uses that as a "curiosity gateway", to then so subtlety look up some picture or some video of a sexy woman, or some porn. For example, I was watching Dave Chapelle comedy videos just half an hour ago, and the video had some black women in it, and I noticed my brain being tempted to look up P with black girls in it!! I noticed this pattern in me , and so I stopped watching. Even just those comedy videos were enough to bring up a trigger in me. I guess it's really just about what behaviour you have done in the past, and what pathways we've built up and reinforced. There's nothing personal in it: it's just the way the brain works. And it can very much work for us (when we're trying to heal addiction), or very much work against us (when we're fully in the grip of addiction).
So tonight, I'm being a truly "good boy", and I'm writing a post in my journal on reboot nation, instead of being fooled by the very subtle tricks of this very deeply entrenched addiction. What a bastard it is!! Hahahaha
Much love everyone!!
-Peace
Well here I am tonight, and I'm dealing with urges. It's funny: I think that it's always after about a month of not PMO-Ing that I (and I think many others) are hit with hardcore urges. It's like my brain is saying "ok, I've been a good boy, now let me have some pleasure". But if we let it in, then we're not truly breaking through ? and on some level, I really do want to break through. It's been 20 bloody years of this godamned rubbish, and I really do want to move on. However, it is extremely difficult to get past that month (or whatever period of time is your personal cycle for this phenomenon). It's like we have tons of conviction in the beginning, but then by about a months amount of time, our resolve starts to falter and then we fall down.
I'm observing my own patterns, and noticing some things. Here are some of them: one of my triggers is actually when I'm having a good time/feeling good (as opposed to feeling bad, which is what is more often a trigger for me and other people). But after I've been not watching P for say a month, the addiction can use almost anything to trick you back into watching P. In my case, it can be feeling good. I guess in a way, my brain is saying "ok, I've been so good for awhile that I deserve a reward" (basically the same thing I said earlier, lol).
Another trigger for me is watching any sort of Internet video late in the evening. I guess my brain just uses that as a "curiosity gateway", to then so subtlety look up some picture or some video of a sexy woman, or some porn. For example, I was watching Dave Chapelle comedy videos just half an hour ago, and the video had some black women in it, and I noticed my brain being tempted to look up P with black girls in it!! I noticed this pattern in me , and so I stopped watching. Even just those comedy videos were enough to bring up a trigger in me. I guess it's really just about what behaviour you have done in the past, and what pathways we've built up and reinforced. There's nothing personal in it: it's just the way the brain works. And it can very much work for us (when we're trying to heal addiction), or very much work against us (when we're fully in the grip of addiction).
So tonight, I'm being a truly "good boy", and I'm writing a post in my journal on reboot nation, instead of being fooled by the very subtle tricks of this very deeply entrenched addiction. What a bastard it is!! Hahahaha
Much love everyone!!
-Peace
muhammadtaha2016
Active Member
Peace man!
I hope you made it yesterday.
I hope you made it yesterday.
PeaceOfMind062012
Active Member
Hey Hey Man! Thanks for posting! I DID make it yesterday. No PMO for this bro
Thanks a million for checkin in.
For now I'm staying the course.
-Peace
Thanks a million for checkin in.
For now I'm staying the course.
-Peace
PeaceOfMind062012
Active Member
Hello everyone!
Still dealing with urges tonight. It's like as soon as I hit the one month mark, the triggers really come out in full force! Those bastards! That enter my life and use subtle (and not so subtle) things inside my own head to try and steer me towards PMO-ing.
Just cuz I need to mention it: a close friend of mine is currently going through a REALLY tough time and needs my close emotional support, which so far I'm able to give in a healthy way. However, this situation is giving me my own fair share of stress, and is often bringing up triggers in me to act out with PMO. So far I'm doing ok (haven't caved yet), but it is often difficult these days to remain centred. I guess it's just another form of that godamned one month mark! I'm doing my best to get through this 'hump', and I hope to get to the other side and continue on my reboot.
I also find that a huge trigger for me is smoking weed. Seriously- for some reason, when I smoke weed, it's often a way for my brain to say "hey we're going to watch P now". I think at its root level, it's because it initially makes my body feel relaxed and good, and then M-ing is a natural next step, cuz it also feels really good when I'm high. And that's kinda nice actually, but what I don't like is that after I smoke the ganja, I often don't have a choice. It's like my brain just goes straight to PMO mode. And by now I realize that getting high and then PMO-ing are probably very much wired into my brain as two activities that are synonymous and inseparable. Which is a shame, cuz I really wish that I could smoke weed; get high, and not have to worry about the (basically) inevitable act of PMO-Ing. Oh well: life throws at us challenges that we wouldn't necessarily choose, but ones that we can nevertheless handle (at the time they arise).
Good luck to everyone in their struggle!
-Peace
Still dealing with urges tonight. It's like as soon as I hit the one month mark, the triggers really come out in full force! Those bastards! That enter my life and use subtle (and not so subtle) things inside my own head to try and steer me towards PMO-ing.
Just cuz I need to mention it: a close friend of mine is currently going through a REALLY tough time and needs my close emotional support, which so far I'm able to give in a healthy way. However, this situation is giving me my own fair share of stress, and is often bringing up triggers in me to act out with PMO. So far I'm doing ok (haven't caved yet), but it is often difficult these days to remain centred. I guess it's just another form of that godamned one month mark! I'm doing my best to get through this 'hump', and I hope to get to the other side and continue on my reboot.
I also find that a huge trigger for me is smoking weed. Seriously- for some reason, when I smoke weed, it's often a way for my brain to say "hey we're going to watch P now". I think at its root level, it's because it initially makes my body feel relaxed and good, and then M-ing is a natural next step, cuz it also feels really good when I'm high. And that's kinda nice actually, but what I don't like is that after I smoke the ganja, I often don't have a choice. It's like my brain just goes straight to PMO mode. And by now I realize that getting high and then PMO-ing are probably very much wired into my brain as two activities that are synonymous and inseparable. Which is a shame, cuz I really wish that I could smoke weed; get high, and not have to worry about the (basically) inevitable act of PMO-Ing. Oh well: life throws at us challenges that we wouldn't necessarily choose, but ones that we can nevertheless handle (at the time they arise).
Good luck to everyone in their struggle!
-Peace
Faptain America
Member
Hey man!
Glad to see you're still sticking it to the PMO man. I'm coming up on three weeks and am feeling the same urges so don't feel bad cus you got a week on me
Dude... I was never a wet dream kind of guy. I've only had it happen a few times in my life. Most of the time i've woken up either already masturbating or horny enough that I gotta do it if I ever want to go back to sleep. Usually it happens when i'm thinking of some more deviant fantasies. It happens in my dreams so it's not exactly something I can control. Like you said, it's just thoughts. It doesn't represent who you are when you're awake.
Maybe if you find a better setting to smoke? Like if you lock your laptop battery downstairs in your mailbox or disconnect the internet cable, or smoke only when with friends... Maybe that will discourage the urges and help re-wire what smoking weed means to your brain.
Just a thought. Hang in there.
-The Faptain
Glad to see you're still sticking it to the PMO man. I'm coming up on three weeks and am feeling the same urges so don't feel bad cus you got a week on me
Dude... I was never a wet dream kind of guy. I've only had it happen a few times in my life. Most of the time i've woken up either already masturbating or horny enough that I gotta do it if I ever want to go back to sleep. Usually it happens when i'm thinking of some more deviant fantasies. It happens in my dreams so it's not exactly something I can control. Like you said, it's just thoughts. It doesn't represent who you are when you're awake.
Maybe if you find a better setting to smoke? Like if you lock your laptop battery downstairs in your mailbox or disconnect the internet cable, or smoke only when with friends... Maybe that will discourage the urges and help re-wire what smoking weed means to your brain.
Just a thought. Hang in there.
-The Faptain
PeaceOfMind062012
Active Member
Thanks Faptain for the input! Much appreciated
Well, I'm posting just to stay connected. No PMO since April 28th I think, and things are going ok. I'm being super vigilant (as always, cuz I know that it would not take much to lead me back to PMO). There are a few triggers in my life here and there, but I'm realy trying to shift away in a big way, and I'm really proud and impressed with myself for going this long without it!!
Thanks for your input, Faptain, about a possibly different setting to smoke weed as a possible solution. To tell you the truth, I think the best possible option to switch it over for me might be to start smoking with a girlfriend and then have actual sex with her while high. Just a thought. I realize that I also don't HAVE to smoke weed at all costs. If I see that it almost always leads me to PMO, then well, I've just got to cut it out of my life!
I definitely want to stay connected to this community in a big way, because currently I see it as basically the biggest reason why I'm not PMO-ing. Basically it gives me support and accountability.
If I had the time, I'd comment on everybody's journals! Haha, but alas, I don't have that much time, and I must do other things in life. But I will try to comment on a few, cuz hey man, what goes around comes around! Anybody heard from Siphus in like Private Message world? Just curious; I miss that kid!
All the best!
-Peace
Well, I'm posting just to stay connected. No PMO since April 28th I think, and things are going ok. I'm being super vigilant (as always, cuz I know that it would not take much to lead me back to PMO). There are a few triggers in my life here and there, but I'm realy trying to shift away in a big way, and I'm really proud and impressed with myself for going this long without it!!
Thanks for your input, Faptain, about a possibly different setting to smoke weed as a possible solution. To tell you the truth, I think the best possible option to switch it over for me might be to start smoking with a girlfriend and then have actual sex with her while high. Just a thought. I realize that I also don't HAVE to smoke weed at all costs. If I see that it almost always leads me to PMO, then well, I've just got to cut it out of my life!
I definitely want to stay connected to this community in a big way, because currently I see it as basically the biggest reason why I'm not PMO-ing. Basically it gives me support and accountability.
If I had the time, I'd comment on everybody's journals! Haha, but alas, I don't have that much time, and I must do other things in life. But I will try to comment on a few, cuz hey man, what goes around comes around! Anybody heard from Siphus in like Private Message world? Just curious; I miss that kid!
All the best!
-Peace
G
gentleman86
Guest
PeaceOfMind062012 said:
Hey man,
you noticed absolutely right
Everytime we are smoking weed, we feed our "dopamine loving creature inside ourself" a little bit with dopamine.
These dopamine dose is mostly enough to "override" the rational part of your brain (which job is to foresee the negative effects from our current behaviour like smoking weed or scoff down the delicious chocolate cake for our future).
It's a fight between the
"quick reward" vs. the "longterm reward",
"addict creature" vs. "inner child",
"primeval behaviour" vs. "rational being".
I had to learn that smoking weed often lead to a relapse by myself...
So I'am involved in quitting smoking weed too!
Until now I am 6 days clean (weed) and it increased my confidence to overcome both addictions (weed and porn) forever.
The bags under my eyes enjoy my drugfree life too ;D
I wish you all the best, stay strong.
Step by step, day by day.
I believe in you.
You will overcome these addiction(s), I am dead certain about that
PeaceOfMind062012
Active Member
Hey Gentlman86!
Yes, I think you're right about that dopamine part of our brain - once you do something that releases it in an abundant way (like smoking weed), it just says "hey let's get more of this stuff" and quickly wants to go to porn as well.
Anyway, I'm basically staying away from smoking it these days because the bottom line it: My reboot process is WAY more important to me than smoking weed is
I've got a busy day ahead, but over all things are good. Lots of love and support to the community!!
-Peace
Yes, I think you're right about that dopamine part of our brain - once you do something that releases it in an abundant way (like smoking weed), it just says "hey let's get more of this stuff" and quickly wants to go to porn as well.
Anyway, I'm basically staying away from smoking it these days because the bottom line it: My reboot process is WAY more important to me than smoking weed is
I've got a busy day ahead, but over all things are good. Lots of love and support to the community!!
-Peace
Nope
Member
Hey Peace,
I've found your journal really inspirational. Appreciate the effort you put on it.
I'm trying to quit both PMO and weed at the same time. I entered into a depression in 2014. At that time I was living in Amsterdam, so I had really easy access to high qualiity weed. Then I started smoking and PMOing on a daily basis. Therefore, I understand what is to make a conection between these two habits.
Stay strong!
I've found your journal really inspirational. Appreciate the effort you put on it.
I'm trying to quit both PMO and weed at the same time. I entered into a depression in 2014. At that time I was living in Amsterdam, so I had really easy access to high qualiity weed. Then I started smoking and PMOing on a daily basis. Therefore, I understand what is to make a conection between these two habits.
Stay strong!
PeaceOfMind062012
Active Member
Hey Nope!
Yeah man, for me it's my achilles heel for sure (smoking weed and then PMO'ing). I know that if I smoke, I'll PMO almost 60-70% of the time, which I guess kinda sucks, cuz I'd like to be able to smoke without PMO-ing, but hey, I guess we don't always get to choose what life throws at us hey?
For me, another tricky thing is that in my mind, smoking weed is seen as thing that the 'cool kids' do, you know? Like when I was growing up, I associated it with being cool and open, and groovy and all the good stuff, haha! And so, as a trigger that is sublte as fuck, my mind tricks me into smoking by using all those same old clever arguments: it'll say "oh man, you want to be cool, open accepting, not uptight, right? you want to fit in with the cool kids right? well, you've gotta smoke some weed then!", and then low and behold I end up PMO-ing at the end of the night and feeling like shit! How 'cool' is that? haha. So,yeah, I totally know what you're talking about with the two things being a double challenge.
I hear Amsterdam has wicked weed - I'm living in BC, Canada right now, and there is also tons of high quality weed, making it a little challngeing to stay away from it, but hey, now that I know it doesn't really work for me, I just gotta keep acknowledging that and remembering that.
Thanks for telling me how much of an inspiration my journal is for you that makes me feel really good Whatever goes around comes around - I fully appreciate your support!!
So far I'me still doing ok - haven't PMO-ed since April 28th, and I'm trying my hardest to reconstruct my new healthy life
Stay in touch!!
-Peace
Yeah man, for me it's my achilles heel for sure (smoking weed and then PMO'ing). I know that if I smoke, I'll PMO almost 60-70% of the time, which I guess kinda sucks, cuz I'd like to be able to smoke without PMO-ing, but hey, I guess we don't always get to choose what life throws at us hey?
For me, another tricky thing is that in my mind, smoking weed is seen as thing that the 'cool kids' do, you know? Like when I was growing up, I associated it with being cool and open, and groovy and all the good stuff, haha! And so, as a trigger that is sublte as fuck, my mind tricks me into smoking by using all those same old clever arguments: it'll say "oh man, you want to be cool, open accepting, not uptight, right? you want to fit in with the cool kids right? well, you've gotta smoke some weed then!", and then low and behold I end up PMO-ing at the end of the night and feeling like shit! How 'cool' is that? haha. So,yeah, I totally know what you're talking about with the two things being a double challenge.
I hear Amsterdam has wicked weed - I'm living in BC, Canada right now, and there is also tons of high quality weed, making it a little challngeing to stay away from it, but hey, now that I know it doesn't really work for me, I just gotta keep acknowledging that and remembering that.
Thanks for telling me how much of an inspiration my journal is for you that makes me feel really good
Whatever goes around comes around - I fully appreciate your support!!So far I'me still doing ok - haven't PMO-ed since April 28th, and I'm trying my hardest to reconstruct my new healthy life
Stay in touch!!
-Peace
CrowMagnum
Active Member
Former avid weed smoker here-- I can relate to your idea of it being associated with "coolness" and "openness". I find that I am more genuinely open and not uptight when I abstain from PMO for an extended period of time. Being away from weed helps that. Perhaps one day I will be able to smoke without endangering myself to a relapse but for the time being I will remain satisfied with the idea that I am working towards a real and lasting openness. I hope this helps anyone struggling with the hamster wheel of weed and PMO. Aside from that keep up the good work Peace of Mind!
Best,
Crow
Best,
Crow
achilles heel
Well-Known Member
PeaceOfMind062012 said:Anyway, I'm basically staying away from smoking it these days because the bottom line it: My reboot process is WAY more important to me than smoking weed is
This is such an important step! I did the same by quitting alcohol during reboot so far, as I almost always relapsed being drunk or during hangover next day. Somehow I always thought "There must be a strategy to keep drinking and quitting porn" which just shows one thing to me: I wasn't ready to make quitting porn my priority. Now it is.
Now that you put rebooting above smoking weed will increase your own barrier to relapse, because of having more willpower and a clear mind and also having put the reboot process at the top of your priority list. I'm seeing such big steps at your process and really believe you are ready to make it through the hard times.
What you said about rebooting at my journal is true and might be the key to long term success. There are no fireworks after 90 days for us releasing us to freedom. We are addicts and will never be able to act careless about our addictions. I realize how I get kind of demotivated at my longer streaks for this reason. Of course there is tons of progress especially at the initial part of rebooting. But at some point the overall positive change becomes "normal", while cravings are still there once in a while. And I see how the addicted part of my brain is sowing these doubts like "Do you really want to torture yourself forever?".
We've got to realize that experiencing (bad) emotions without the PMO painkiller isn't torture, but real life. That by numbing our negative emotions, we inhibit to really feel the positive ones too. And by allowing all emotions, we are winning every single day becoming more human and less PMO-zombie.
Your words really inspired me and give me power to overcome uprising doubts. Thanks a lot and I hope to read about your continuing success!