Successful reboot?

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TiramiSu

Well-Known Member
Day 39: When I was Young I was attracted to porn and Hookers because it was forbidden and never openly talked about.  Hookers gave me a new thrill. It was more than porn. I always earned lots of Money so it never mattered to me but in retrospect the Money that I spent on Hookers was quite a lot.I do not feel ashamed for it, but I am actually quite happy to have the power and strength to talk about it today. I would not have dared or I would have not been ready to talk about it ten years ago. But I was a single so it did not matter. Now I am a dad and I have responsibility.
Without porn, I wake up without any guilt or any brainfog and I never think I Need mental counselling. After pmo and Hookers I always wanted to seek counselling.

I did notice now emotionally how much energy porn takes away from me. I do not even know how I could have had so much energy for consuming so much sex anyways. It would have been better spent on other Things.

When I was into Hookers, I also always worried about stds.  I even thought about stds every day. A lot of times, worrying about stds was the bigger Hobby than the actual danger of catching some. This is a Thing of the past.  I am happy that this time is gone forever. Been there. Done it. Fuck it. Good bye porn and Hookers Obsession. Now it is time for the real life.

but in the end it also boiled down to getting a dopamine high.

When I hug my children, this is Special to me now. or when my children smile at me. That is what Counts in life.

there is one more Thing: all guys that found their dad's porn Collection somehow suffered from that. I want to spare my children finding a porn Collection and losing their respect for their dad. If my dad had a porn Collection, I would have also lost my respect, so now it is time to be a role model myself. Losing the respect of my children would be the worst punishment in my life since I love them so much!
 
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TiramiSu

Well-Known Member
Day 40: I read up a lot on medical issues about stds....after having so much Information, there is not really much wish left for consuming of sex....Things are calm but that is also I have a lot going on here at the Moment...
 
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TiramiSu

Well-Known Member
I wake up full of energy. Better than the porn age. But I know the difficulties will come at day 60 and 110 and above....so sticking to the plan will be important now....

hard mode for me is not even the slightest Bikini pic- no consumation whatsover. only real life. but Bikini pics are like light beer to the alcoholic.
 
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gazz

Active Member
good work mate. Very true - I must stay away from the 'light beer' too. I'm being much stricter with myself at the moment
 
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TiramiSu

Well-Known Member
day 43: I often watch martial arts movies and I do not think that the best fighters have a Problem with jerking off! Also some thousand years ago we had to hunt and use our Forces otherwise we would be dead. So the Internet is really a self-made Problem by our Society - like most Problem. I think we create more Problems ourselves than we get from outside. I really hope and want to leave the vicious circle of "I jerked off and then I feel guilty Syndrom". If we really want to be successful in our lives we Need to face reality and face reality means to admit that in some cases porn leads to destructive behaviour.  This morning I woke up just happily. no cravings no thoughts. So I am sticking to hard mode. I want this to be my final reboot because it seems so energy draining each time I watch it. Porn is like coffee: when you drink coffee, it actually takes away water and porn makes you think you get energy but after that you lose it. But my main Argument is that I would have lost my respect for my dad if he had stapled a porn Collection in this life and I do not want to my children to lose respect for me.Not watching porn is a decision Independent of my Partner.  I have also been reading that stds in the us are at all time high. so it does not lead to anything.

With regards to today: It helps reading other stories. I have no cravings or whatsoever. I feel pumped!

 
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TiramiSu

Well-Known Member
Day 44: Keep myself busy. Porn did not cross my mind until now that I am writing. Life without porn is always better. No stress. More calm. no excuses. more focused. appreciate women in real life!
 
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TiramiSu

Well-Known Member
My children deserve a solid dad. So in the interest of my children, I want to be the best for them.I love my children more than anything. This gives my Motivation every day. i am happy to be now at 1,5 month of liberty and i defintely want to continue
 
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TiramiSu

Well-Known Member
day 46: life without porn is a lot better! more self-respect. Problems stay the same but I am more relaxed about it.
 
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TiramiSu

Well-Known Member
Day 47: time to do some solid work. I have had not the slightest exposure of Internet pics for a Long time now. the shame and guilt part is gone. which is good. I also have no cravings whatsover. I am going it day by day.
 
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TiramiSu

Well-Known Member
Day 48: LAst nite I thought for a Moment why not watch porn now. But I just let the thought pass and to told the thought to go and f.,,off....I just slept. I am also dreaming again which is nice. It is good to stick to this plan and wish. I do it for the sake of myself and my Family!I do not even want to be an occasional user...I want to become a never even once consumer.

Stay strong,

 
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TiramiSu

Well-Known Member
Day 50: Thanks for your Kind post.

Actually living without porn is an achievable Thing.

I have "emotioanally" decided to stick to this because I am doing it for my children. I said this earlier, but it is important I think I would Have lost my respect for my dad if I had seen him watch porn all the time. Porn should not Play an important role in life. But thanks to porn we see how powerful Habits are and how they can Change the brain structure. It is true because also this writing here is Habit forming. Even If I stopped writing here, I do not think I would Forget about writing here.

Anyways I have had no thoughts whatsover about porn recently.  I only notice real life women more and often wonder why I spent so much time on porn when I was Young.

 
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TiramiSu

Well-Known Member
day 51: my advise for everyone is to spend more time with other men! Do not think about women! I have no issues at the Moment.
 
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TiramiSu

Well-Known Member
day 52: I am doing work out every morning and in the evening I am reading up a lot on "man literature". The reason why I was here I think it is because I want to behave more male like. Jerking off is pussy like.
 
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TiramiSu

Well-Known Member
Day 54: the secret seems very simple. I do not watch any porn, I do not have any Symptoms whatsover. yesterday I thought one Minute about it. but that is all. rebootnation is one step in becoming more of a true man! Man does not mean being macho and getting laid all the time, but being somebody who is responsible and stands up for himself and faces emotional issues. and does not give a fuck about expectations of other People.
 
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