I'm realising that there's a lot of anxiety component in PMO behaviour. Sometimes the urge is strong even when there is no physical urge at all. It's a desire to have an urge - as perverse as that sounds. I'm used to medicating my day with the pleasurable feeling of PMO. It was pretty much a nightly treat after a long stressful day. The only time I wouldn't do it was when I thought I might get lucky the next day with my gf. I would try to resist to make that experience better - but sometimes not even then, since I've never really had a full blown ED problem, I could take that risk. Little did I realise that it wasn't all about erections - it was about the quality of the experience itself that I was missing out on. I was putting an invisible wall up that stopped me from really appreciating the woman that was wanting to be intimate with me. It really is very disrespectful now that I look back at it. This behaviour wasn't present the whole time in our relationship - the first year, like most couples, it's so new and electric, you don't need fantasies. Then as things become more familiar, a porn addict will need the additional stimulation to get the job done.
Even though it's been very hard, I feel a lot better about myself since I gave up P. It's liberating. Now the challenge is to stay away from MO. The good thing is I have a hot date planned with my partner this Saturday, so I just have to hold out till then. Yes, I know it sounds strange having to plan a "date", but we have a 2 year old daughter and busy schedules! It's a relief to plan it, actually. Takes away some of the uncertainty and anxiety which can cause MO.