Finally sick and tired of being sick and tired

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FreedomFromTheStruggle_11

Well-Known Member
Day 11 without porn
Day 5 without MO
Had bad insomnia last night. Was up until probably close to 4am. I was able to get 30% hard last night by myself, but then it literally died.
This is not fun at all. But it will get better.
 
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FreedomFromTheStruggle_11

Well-Known Member
Today was a lot like yesterday was. Just a mixture of emotions. No motivation. Hopefully I can get some sleep tonight. I MO'd today, and it was numb and anticlimactic. Cutting it out for the next 30 days. I worked out today, but it didn't do much. As long as I abstain from porn I will get better and feel better soon. It just sucks. Lol. No desire for porn.
 
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FreedomFromTheStruggle_11

Well-Known Member
Relapsed tonight. Couldn't sleep, and the urges won out. Terrible excuse for a relapse, but that is the truth. So we are back on hard mode.
Today starts a new journey....again. I will say though, tonight was my rock bottom. This is a crossroads moment. I know what I need to do, and the road that I need to take. It's up to me to put in the work, and make the changes that I need to make. I normally would apologize for the relapse, but it's apart of my growth, my recovery and my story. It's not ideal, but it will be apart of my success story one day soon. Gonna try to get some sleep now. Love you all.
 
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IamTrying

Member
FreedomFromTheStruggle_11 said:
Relapsed tonight. Couldn't sleep, and the urges won out. Terrible excuse for a relapse, but that is the truth. So we are back on hard mode.
Today starts a new journey....again. I will say though, tonight was my rock bottom. This is a crossroads moment. I know what I need to do, and the road that I need to take. It's up to me to put in the work, and make the changes that I need to make. I normally would apologize for the relapse, but it's apart of my growth, my recovery and my story. It's not ideal, but it will be apart of my success story one day soon. Gonna try to get some sleep now. Love you all.
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Don't worry too much. freedom. have a good rest. restart again tomorrow.
 
Ezel

Ezel

Respected Member
FreedomFromTheStruggle_11 said:
Relapsed tonight. Couldn't sleep, and the urges won out. Terrible excuse for a relapse, but that is the truth. So we are back on hard mode.
Today starts a new journey....again. I will say though, tonight was my rock bottom. This is a crossroads moment. I know what I need to do, and the road that I need to take. It's up to me to put in the work, and make the changes that I need to make. I normally would apologize for the relapse, but it's apart of my growth, my recovery and my story. It's not ideal, but it will be apart of my success story one day soon. Gonna try to get some sleep now. Love you all.
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Don't give up man, it's just a setback that's all. You went 16 days porn free, that takes good will and courage. Like you said this is all will be a part of your success story.
Glad to see you back to the caravan freedom, God bless you my friend,
 
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FreedomFromTheStruggle_11

Well-Known Member
Today has been one of the worst pmo hangover days I've ever had. I woke up with a headache that stayed for hours. I was angry throughout most of today. So angry at the situation. Angry at what I've done to my brain, and angry that I continue to take take steps forward and continue to fall down. I felt awful. I MO'd today without porn and got angry at myself for that. Just a day of frustration and anger. However, I took a shower and got myself in a better frame of mind. I'm gonna try to optimize that rest of this day. Then tomorrow begins day 1. At some point, one of my many "Day 1's" will be the last one. I just have to keep at it. Last night was the most pathetic pmo relapse I've ever had. It's definitely a good thing to motivate me. Thank you all for your continued support especially
@Blondie
@Ezel
@IamTrying
@Recovery Will Come
@downhillfromhere
 
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