37 - Virgin - Depressed - PIED? PLEASE HELP ME!

manchacat

Member
oh and just getting a girlfriend probably won?t change much for you to be honest,

that?s just not enough. you fill it will, because you don?t hava one and are lonely, but you should focus you improving your life in general,

you have removed porn from your life for a long time, that means you have more will than you think, many can?t do that

google blackdragon blog,  hope this helps you
 

manchacat

Member
and i forgot to mention, meditation helps, but in cases of people with more severe depression 10 or 15 minutes a day is nearly useless, you need much more meditation than that. check everything you can on shinzen young, he is very very good.
 
J

jorge2166

Guest
malando said:
jorge2166 said:
Friend: quiet. Pornography is not as bad as you think. It is true that in excess you can cause problems, but they are reversible in a matter of months.
Remove the idea from the head that the problem has been pornography.
What happens is that you have developed anxiety with the issue of pornography and that is what is affecting you.

All the men on the planet see pornography and a lot. Or at least, we've seen it, which means you should forget that your problem is porn.

You have another problem that can be cured successfully from professional help.

I imagine that in your country there should be good doctors and specialists.

I'm really questioning your attitude given your recent postings. How much thought and research have you really invested in this problem? Please do some more research before posting such flippant advice. Frankly, your advice is an embarrassment. Expect your posts to be edited or deleted if you continue in this manner. This site is intended for people who have realised that porn is not a good thing and how to quit and leave it behind permanently.

I would like this guy to write me personally to my email so I can apologise to him. my comments were rubbish and I am in denial about my porn problems.
I lack morality in my life. Sorry.
 

DepressedAndOut

Active Member
Nothing major in terms of ED clearing up, but recently I've been going clubbing. Last night I met this beautiful woman and we both got friendly with each other. (hugging and laughing and stuff). Nothing happened afterwards unfortunately. But it was a beautiful experience. I could feel the feel-good hormones (albeit it with around 50% intensity). We also kissed on the lips for a few seconds. My boner was at around 2/3 out of 10, but at least there's life there. It was great getting physical with her, even though it was nothing too sexual.

Since then, I've been feeling more movement down there when simply thinking about my experience last night or even been around women in  general.

A small positive step forward,  I hope.
 

DepressedAndOut

Active Member
Went out on Saturday night again, danced with a woman again, and this time we kissed(tongues) and danced while we both enjoyed touching each others' private parts! :lol: It was sooooooooooo sweet touching her.....  wow! Unfortunately she had to leave as she appeared upset having come back from the toilet. I tried to see what happened, but she had to go. Oh well... it was great touching that hot body! My erection were about at 4/10.
 

mattdes

Member
I saw one of your desperate posts from a couple of months back . It looked like you had given up. Reading this latest update is fantastic. I am delighted for you. Keep going strong.
 

DepressedAndOut

Active Member
So... I went out last night to a club and managed to get some hot action with a beautiful woman.

We were dancing, kissing and touching each other for well over 2 hours nearly none-stop!

It didn't end in anything as she wasn't looking for sex, which is fine as I had no place to take her to anyway! (She lived out of town).

However, unfortunately i got very little movement down there. :( I don't know why. :( I've been PMO free for over two years now and when doing MO (I have been MOing once or twice a week for the past few months) I actually get erection easier (following a sexual thought). But when I was dancing and touching that woman.... there was no erection.

It was soo great being with that woman, she was very hot.
 

goingpublic

Member
Hey man, you ok?

Read your whole journal. Sorry that shit is though for you, man.

I kind of am similar to you. I'm 29 now and had 15 years of PMO from age of 13 with no sexual experience.
I don't have nor had PIED though.

But I also feel almost complety asexual (I'm in the flatline). I went out a lot from 2014 to 2018 and never felt attraction/desire/arousal for a girl. Found out that my problems come from PMOing in 2018. Since then I try rebooting. Longest streak was in this year with 76 days. Had another before with 30 days. All others were around 2 weeks usually.

I decided to loose my virginity at the begining of this year to a prostitute with girlfriendsex (legal here in germany). I always had concerns about how I would feel about kissing, because I never felt the desire to kiss a girl, actually more the opposite. To my suprise, I felt quite neutral about it. I could somehow enjoy it, despite beeing devoid of any arousal or desire.

That was important for me, because that always blocked me from starting the process of rewiring to real women.

I went two times in january: the first time I couldn't cum. That time I had PMOed 5 times the day before.
The second time I had a streak of 22 days. That time I came.

-

My suspicion is, for us guys with no sexual experience forceful rewiring might be the only way to get desire for women. A proactive process of reconditioning to intimacy with real women is needed. Well, Gabe did this too basically. The difference is that he had wiring for real sex.

-

When you masturbate, how full is your erection?
 

DepressedAndOut

Active Member
When I kissed a girl, I also felt neutral with not much desire but somehow was enjoying it.

Some of us, certainly me, definitely need a woman to rewire to to get full erection and desire back. You can stay PMO free the rest of your life, it will not fully heal you, until you go with a woman.

Anyway, when I MO, I first need to fantasize and then I get erect - the strength of erection is about a 5 or 6 out of ten.

I'm now thinking maybe I should see a prostitute. But here in England, I'm not sure when to go!!
 

imsorrynotsorry

Active Member
Hello DepressedAndOut,

as sorry as i am to write this, but i will never advice seeing a prostitute for any reason. And furthermore, i don't belive that someones needs a women to fully rewire the neurofunctions, it's the opposite instead.

Seeing a prostitute changes the way you see women and what you expect of women to do. If you never had many relationsships with women, it's just who you are and i mean this without any judgement. Be honest to yourself and reflect on this.

I've read in this forum that it contributes more if you avoid everything with arousal and sex, even if it is real. Sure, sex with your GF is a good thing and not unnatural, but it exercises also the neurofunctions we want so bad to behave normal. From my experience, my urge to PMO was higher after normal sex with GF. Guess where that came from.

One just don't get erection when close to a woman. For some guys trust is way more important. So, if your man down there didn't act like crazy, that's absolutely not unusual. Being at home in a comfortable environment with a women you trust is making it more easier to get an errection, so don't mix these things up. It's not like a normal guys gets an errection when he sees a nice woman in the streets.

Why do you MO often?
 
I

Icandoit

Guest
imsorrynotsorry said:
Seeing a prostitute changes the way you see women and what you expect of women to do. If you never had many relationsships with women, it's just who you are and i mean this without any judgement. Be honest to yourself and reflect on this.

I agree. Prostitutes are "willing" to do whatever you want in exchange for money. I mean, have anybody read something like: "It cost you X for cumshot" ? Prostitutes willing to do cumshot for money is not what we want, really. Prostitutes are not girlfriends. Prostitutes are "porn fantasies in real life", in my opinion. I don't recommend prostitutes for recovering porn addicts. For the right amount of money you can really do porn with those girls.

I've read in this forum that it contributes more if you avoid everything with arousal and sex, even if it is real. Sure, sex with your GF is a good thing and not unnatural, but it exercises also the neurofunctions we want so bad to behave normal. From my experience, my urge to PMO was higher after normal sex with GF. Guess where that came from.

It helps to really pay attention to your body and mind. Everybody is different but I will present my experience. I've been teaching my brain to enjoy high amounts of the "drug" (porn). It is not satisfied with just "a little" and it rebels against it. It wants the "full amount". Which means, after one orgasm it wants more, because when I relapse on porn I binge (multiple orgasms). One orgasm to sex makes me want to orgasm more and I think I've fucked up my brain because after one orgasm I can't have an erection with a girl but I can have with porn and... You got the idea. Some of us really need a complete rest for a few months, really, to let the brain relax. I know it sucks but...






 

DepressedAndOut

Active Member
My problem is that I'm forbidding my brain from the 'natural drugs' too. ie, real women, fun, regular socialising, living an independent life. etc. (because my life at the moment is somewhat restricted). I'm probably deeply depressed and stressed because I'm not getting the natural drug. But I can't help it but put everything down to my lack of experience with the opposite sex.

Before the lockdown, I was very disciplined and had no urges for PMO. Okay I MOed every now and then, but during the lockdown it's been harder to stay away from MO and the internet (ie, YouTube). I MO because I feel like I need that relief! Last night I was trying to sleep but I just couldn't - only a MO was eventually able to get me to sleep.

It's good to hear that just because I don't get around while dancing with a hot women, doesn't mean that I would get erect in bed. However, this notion is still not string enough to make me feel easier about this. My mind, on a daily basis, is thinking about the first time I will get with a woman (if it happens) and how I might fail get erect. Yes, I know that the more I think about it, the more chance it will happen. However, I wouldn't describe the accompanying worry about this potential scenario is necessarily stronger in its effect in comparison with a limp dick due to PIED.

Maaan... I just want a lovely girl between my arms. I'm getting too old to be without one now!
 

imsorrynotsorry

Active Member
Hey,

There's nothing bad about websites for dating girls. You can do this whenever you want. I would recommend that to you, but stop MO instead. Knowing a woman and handle rendez-vous and everything also needs practice. This practice can make fun, even if it's not your dream girl right away. Often the personality describes the beauty, not the other way round.

Maybe this is an idea to think about, because from my experience, it needs work to do from you!
 

DepressedAndOut

Active Member
I try to avoid dating websites as exposing your vision to too many different (wome) faces and pictures is no good for me.

I  go to Speeddating every now and then.
 
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