My future is awesome!

[TakeActionNow]

With greater stability comes clarity

First is clarity and differentiation of feelings and emotions, and understanding and applying different types of soothing methods.

Second is having a better grasp of my tolerance level.

1. Feelings and soothing
There are many different types of negative emotions
Anger
Anxiety
Agitated
Stress
Restlessness

In the past there is only 1 form of soothing which is ineffective and contribute to more troubles.

Now with clarity we can find and apply more effective ways of soothing.
Agitations? Move away and distance
Anger? Calming program
Anxiety and worry? Calming and let go
Stress? Calming and let go; prepare in advance

2. Tolerance
Like willpower which is limited, tolerance is also limited.
There are only so many incidents which we can tolerate everyday until we implode.

Here greater emotional sophistication helps.
Is it my problem or theirs?
Should it bother me or not?
If it bothers me, how can I reduce the effect?
If I can't reduce the effect, what could I do?
What are the effective ways afterwards to soothe myself
What are more effective ways to help me before things get critical.

 

[TakeActionNow]

Fire to rock

I am gradually transforming myself from fire to rock.

Fire needs heat and air to survive.
Fire burns wherever it touch.
Fire is volatile and all consuming.
Fire can be beneficial when small but distructive when large.
Fire cannot control itself.

Rock is complete by itself.
Rock is cool to hold.
Rock is supportive and reliable.
Rock is stable.

I am rock.

 

[TakeActionNow]

I was expecting a great blast of happiness when I can say to myself that I've recovered.
Yet mostly what I feel now is like a calm sense of relief, which is correct and proper.

This is no different than coming out of surgery, doing rehab and finally being able to walk again.

Life is an ongoing process until we die. No one moment will signify and replace others.
It just continues. So whether we continue smoothly or roughly matters.

I used to like big blasts, like parties and events. But now a good day just involves nice weather and friendly faces.

Continued calmness is good.
I am settled and stable.
I can continue easily.
I am finally soothed.

 

[TakeActionNow]

Had a moment of downtime and an old mental suggestion floated in.

No, no, no.
This calls for Replacement!

How about:
Read something
Listen to a podcast
etc

 

[TakeActionNow]

2. Tolerance
Like willpower which is limited, tolerance is also limited.
There are only so many incidents which we can tolerate everyday until we implode.

I just realized everything is related with tolerance.

When we are running on low, we are irritable and uncomfortable. Like a child long past bedtime, we are energized and reaching out, whether to gain or to burn. This is when we are at highest risk to error and relapse.

When we are full, we are calm, comfortable and contented. Like just waking up after a good night's rest, we do not seek outside help or attention. We have all that we need.

Tolerance dips as we use up our resources. And the lower our tolerance level, the more dangerous our situation gets.

The opposite of instability is calmness. The more calm and collected we are the more stable and safe we become.

Find ways to fill your calmness.
This is the opposite of addiction mania. This is the root of recovery.

 

[TakeActionNow]

The more one abstains
and the less one overstimulates,
The more one stabilize
And the more one calms

With calmness comes attention
That is followed by focus
That brings about clarity and simplicity.

Everything automatically becomes better.

Reduce your stimulants
Bring down the distractions
Simplify the days
Slow down your life

 

[TakeActionNow]

A little early but oh so wonderful, I'm counting down to 2023!

 

[TakeActionNow]

The world without the cloud of addiction is to see full color without the darkest shades on.

I see people now, and everything is perfect. I see their effort, I see where their heart is, and I can feel love like it's the first time. Not the all consuming kind, but the amazement kind, of wonder and joy.

The world is beautiful. I have none and I have all. Amazing.

 

[TakeActionNow]

Merry Christmas everyone!

Just as we have habitualized to one form of relief before, we can form new action for future needs.

What is my list of go tos if the cravings call again?
Sleep
Shower
Calming Music
YouTube documentary
Etc.

It may be good that it's the same song or activity to go to so that there is familiarity in behavior.

Santa has a list
I have a list too!
Make that list early!

 

[TakeActionNow]

Why we are more prone to anger and irritation.

Addiction causes neurochemical instability, leading to mood instability. So we become more prone to feeling agitated and easily irritability.

Our unstable cravings and ease of porn access means we want and can get our fix fast and easily. But the real world operates neither fast nor easily, our easily agitated states means we can anger faster and more frequently.

This is not good for our mental health and relationship with others.

To ease agitation and anger, we need to practice more calming and life strategizing techniques.

Meditation
Simple breathing exercises
tolerance management
Sleep
diet
Stress management

 

[Nico]

The world without the cloud of addiction is to see full color without the darkest shades on.

I see people now, and everything is perfect. I see their effort, I see where their heart is, and I can feel love like it's the first time. Not the all consuming kind, but the amazement kind, of wonder and joy.

The world is beautiful. I have none and I have all. Amazing.

Love this! I hope this stays with you brother, happy christmas

 

[TakeActionNow]

Love this! I hope this stays with you brother, happy christmas

@Nico
I wrote this shortly after discovering PostmodernJukebox. By far the best and most organized covers ever. So many favorites done in absolutely brilliant 20s to 60s style. Sooooo happy and wonderful!

Be careful, many beautiful singers here! But only their voices and music tempt me... to listen more!
This is my favorite. And what a title! Enjoy!

 

[TakeActionNow]

When women or men are no long objectified what do you see?

I see:
Time dedicated to practicing and perfecting their skills
Time and effort spent to look and be presentable
Time spent planning, preparing, polishing and packaging their performance
Their love and passion for their art
Their gift to all to appreciate and enjoy

In this instance, performers and viewers join in a common flow state. Time dissolve. In this space only magic, wonder, amazement and appreciation. And I feel it within me their joy and passion conveyed. This is the moment of blindness lifted and beauty gifted. These are the wonderful experiences of a life freed.

 

[TakeActionNow]

The addict's hands

Clench to the addiction
Locked so tightly until knuckles white
Like raised fists to the world, unaccepting, rejecting.

The grip can only be softened with love and time
To reveal within that all this time they were holding on to nothing
And to allow for the first time in years or decades,
the gift to receive another hand or kindness.

Don't hold on to your addiction that has left you empty.
Let go and be free

 

[TakeActionNow]

When I am here,
I am not elsewhere.

 

[TakeActionNow]

MAGNIFICATION

Addiction magnifies the experience, turning something of no real meaning to mean everything.

Unfortunately this magnification effect is also passed on to activities that direct us towards addiction:
Stress anger sadness depression anxiety agitation aggravation etc.

Away from addiction all the negative addiction promoting emotions actually are not that bad. They are really quite manageable. The reason why they are so big is because the addiction keeps delaying address of the root issues, allowing them to fester, rot, infect and grow into a dreadful unavoidable universe.

Don't let addiction magnify
Diminish its effects
Heal and all big bad effects will diminish in tandem.

 

[TakeActionNow]

Negative?

One of the most fearsome effects of post MO for me is negative self talk. My entire inner monologue changes to become bad, depressing everything.

That dopamine serves to be a motivator made me think:
Should I call negativity demotivating?
So instead of positivity and negativity, I have motivating and demotivating.

Then suddenly everything makes sense.

What is negativity other than avoiding and not doing?
What is positivity other than optimism that doing will bring desired outcomes.

Post MO is refractory stage. The task is complete and body is relaxed and encouraged not to go further. For the addict, the effect is magnified because the baseline is so low that refractory stage is more powerful and lasts longer, and thus the demotivating effect is greater.

There is no positivity or negativity in life.
There is only do or don't do
The universe doesn't care how we feel. Results only exist out of action.

Motivate
Demotivate

I need to stay away from MO so as to stay away from demotivation.

 

[TakeActionNow]

If I am not motivated to improve my relationship with someone, it is because I am either not incentivized by my efforts, or that I do not desire any outcomes that might arise.

So I am training myself to weaken my relationship with addiction by seeing that
1. my efforts with it do not pay off
2. its outcomes are not desired

I can use this same way reversed to improve in areas I do desire.

I am actively motivating and demotivating myself on specific areas

 

[TakeActionNow]

I admit a seed has been planted a day or two ago and has been growing.
I'm not sure what is the reason behind it.
I understand that not every thought needs to be addressed, but this demon has been managed well for some time and frankly I'm concerned it's power seems to be growing recently.

I will attempt to CBT observe it for the moment.

Identify
Evaluate
Reframe and balance
Put it to the test
Interpretation

 

[TakeActionNow]

Reapplication

The addiction has some behaviors that I xperience joy while doing:
Seeking & discovery
Collecting
Cataloging
Consuming
Outside of the material itself, these activities give pleasure.

Now I want to put these behaviors to better use.
Instead of hunting for demotivating material, I will hunt now for motivating material.

Hunt for good books.
Hunt for good videos and podcasts
Hunt for helpful information
Hunt for good role models
Hunt for good life examples

Help myself
And enjoy the process