quitforeverthenwin2
Well-Known Member
Day 4!
The girl didn't answer. I am a bit annoyed at how upset I was. It's like my gut knew, based on a few things on the date it was very unlikely we would see each other again.
What also annoys me is on the date, I was like thinking "I am not into this girl" I almost thought of leaving during the date. Then we cuddled a tiny bit and kissed and after she left feeling like " I hope I see her again" and then feeling like I messed up by showing a lot of disinterest.
Now she has not answered and I felt very very upset. I feel lame for kind of not even wanting her then feeling like I desperately did and pursuing her it's odd. Then I feel like 1) this girl was weird I always attract weird/crazy girls, only weird/ crazy girls show any interest in me. 2) This always happens. I feel like I have so many dates or temporary relationships or whatever where the girl is into me then a few days later she texts me she isn't interested. It's like fuck I don't want to do that again. The girl texting texting texting then after a date she doesn't respond the way she did before and a few days later there is a "I thought about it and I don't want to see you again" type of text.
Well I feel a little bit better writing this all out. I guess I was feeling a little bit desperate. I guess it's okay to be a bit upset and now use healthier means to handle the feelings. Also the show goes on, I wrote out this whole post and realized I had forgotten to post what day I am on.... recovery and my path comes first.
Besides, this was a big win. I was able to stick to my rewiring goals. I ended cuddling/kissing didn't invite her home and all of that other good stuff. Not fantasizing about girls I think helps, but slowly slowly I want to learn to not project onto girls so much. I was aware of that and I can learn to do it even better in the future. Less projection.
Going to spend some time reviewing my goals etc. It's going to be huge when I have a real goal program, something to look forward towards. I already have one, get these two weeks under my belt.
HOLY SHIT I almost forgot, for the first time in a long time.... MORNING WOOD THIS AM! That is what has really been motivating me, cheers to it being even stronger as I keep moving forward. It reminds me, being totally clean and having a girl ignore my text is a hell of a lot better then if she had answered and I had been fantasizing and not had morning wood. If I keep in the direction I am now on. Totally clean, letting my brain heal and impulses weaken, controlling myself with women and having a goal program and moving forward in life, the dating will eventually take care of itself.
The girl didn't answer. I am a bit annoyed at how upset I was. It's like my gut knew, based on a few things on the date it was very unlikely we would see each other again.
What also annoys me is on the date, I was like thinking "I am not into this girl" I almost thought of leaving during the date. Then we cuddled a tiny bit and kissed and after she left feeling like " I hope I see her again" and then feeling like I messed up by showing a lot of disinterest.
Now she has not answered and I felt very very upset. I feel lame for kind of not even wanting her then feeling like I desperately did and pursuing her it's odd. Then I feel like 1) this girl was weird I always attract weird/crazy girls, only weird/ crazy girls show any interest in me. 2) This always happens. I feel like I have so many dates or temporary relationships or whatever where the girl is into me then a few days later she texts me she isn't interested. It's like fuck I don't want to do that again. The girl texting texting texting then after a date she doesn't respond the way she did before and a few days later there is a "I thought about it and I don't want to see you again" type of text.
Well I feel a little bit better writing this all out. I guess I was feeling a little bit desperate. I guess it's okay to be a bit upset and now use healthier means to handle the feelings. Also the show goes on, I wrote out this whole post and realized I had forgotten to post what day I am on.... recovery and my path comes first.
Besides, this was a big win. I was able to stick to my rewiring goals. I ended cuddling/kissing didn't invite her home and all of that other good stuff. Not fantasizing about girls I think helps, but slowly slowly I want to learn to not project onto girls so much. I was aware of that and I can learn to do it even better in the future. Less projection.
Going to spend some time reviewing my goals etc. It's going to be huge when I have a real goal program, something to look forward towards. I already have one, get these two weeks under my belt.
HOLY SHIT I almost forgot, for the first time in a long time.... MORNING WOOD THIS AM! That is what has really been motivating me, cheers to it being even stronger as I keep moving forward. It reminds me, being totally clean and having a girl ignore my text is a hell of a lot better then if she had answered and I had been fantasizing and not had morning wood. If I keep in the direction I am now on. Totally clean, letting my brain heal and impulses weaken, controlling myself with women and having a goal program and moving forward in life, the dating will eventually take care of itself.