Very likely to have a weird combination of venous leakage with pied. (25)

[Jeks]

Day went well. Not smoking frees a lot of time really. Also i have much more energy now. I did not expect that.
I feel like i am more able to enjoy my days and that ive got actually a desire for having fun, which i did not have the past months. I can think of activities, which i could enjoy. I know, crazy stuff...

 

[Jeks]

Got some pretty good nocturnal erections. At the same time i noticed, that sexual dreams and wet dreams really decreased significantly over the last month. Had a bit of a depressed mind set in the morning, but was able to get over it, which is a big accomplishment for me.
Today ive got a few new things i wanna test out study and habits wise. Main focus lies on trying to have fun again. This sounds a bit weird, but i feel like i have to get more active in that area to make progress.

 

[Jeks]

Day went not really as planed, but im not freaking out about it. Every now and then there will be an off day.
I think i ve hit a critical point. Today a thought about masturbating slipt into my mind and my instant reaction was kind of repulsive. I think my libido really hit the bottom. It does not feel uncomfortable, but i hope that my libido will come back soon.
Man..  A little bit of a depressed phase in the evening. I hope it will pass or ill be able to get out of it.

 

[Jeks]

Okay, i am in a kind of depressed phase right now. Ive got very low drive towards anything. I hope its not connected to my quitting of cigarettes. I know that i cant think my way out of it, i tried for at least half an hour. But it also cant go on like this. Have to try things out, doing nothing and ignoring the situation is no option.

 

[Jeks]

I feel better. Had to get some things straight in my mind about my career. Also i smoked shisha in the afternoon, so there really might be a connection. When i feel like quitting cigarettes is causing more depression, i will wait until i feel like i have become more stable. Most important thing for me right now is my mental health and that i dont slide to porn again.
Overall it was a good day. Im really satisfied with myself today. Did not have this feeling in a long time i feel like.

 

[Jeks]

Had a wet dream to porn fantasy in the night.
I feel overall pretty good.

 

[wecandoit]

Good things, man. How long is your streak?

 

[Jeks]

Thanks man 
I am 7 and a half months porn free and 2 and a half without MO.

Confusion is creeping up the last days. Not about porn. More about the direction of my life and the way i live it right now... All i really know is, that i feel much better than half a year ago. So i am not on a completely wrong way. Maybe it all just needs more time. All i can do right know is thinking and trying new things out. Eventually i will find a way to feel better again i hope.

 

[Jeks]

Took a day off from studying. I feel like, thats something that has really been missing the last weeks. Because of holidays i aint got no weekend or something. I have to structure and manage myself and so i have to take care that i got days to rest. Otherwise my motivation is going down and my depression keeps coming, which is counterproductive for my studies and overall not healthy.
I thought a lot about new approaches and just did stuff, which i felt like doing. I feel confident, that tomorrow i will have new energy to study again.

 

[Jeks]

Today was the most productive and enjoyable day i had in a long time, maybe since i started this journey.
I was just able to enjoy my day and my work.

 

[quitforeverthenwin2]

Wow, that is great man. Congradulations. Keep it up! Is there anything you did differently today or leading up to today that you can make note of for the future?

 

[Jeks]

Thanks quit 

there are definetely two changes, that i noted, which might be connected with my well being.
The first: i start to allow myself to have off-days, where i just do whatever i feel like (no porn of course), without forcing me to be productive in any way (i think normal people call it "weekend"). I also allow myself to take breaks in the evening, which i approach in the same manner. This is difficult, but also very beneficial for me, because the last weeks i ve always felt like i ve got to be hyper productive all the time and never knew what to do in my freetime. I never felt like doing or not doing something. I thinlk my body and mind need more time outs.

The second thing is, that i quit smoking just like that, with very similar strategies as i did with porn. I think that gave me a big confidence boost by realizing, that when i am able to quit porn and smoking i should not have to struggle that much in life as i currently do. I should be able to overcome a lot more problems. I just try to approach the stuff the same way as i approached my addictions and this works very well for me currently.

Thanks for asking. You made me reflecting more about it.

I woke up to a sexual dream without porn fantasy. Not much of an erection but it feels like i am on the up swing.
I am well rested, very motivated and driven to start the day.

You all keep fighting. A few months ago i just wished to cut open my wrist and today i just wanna get out and do my stuff.

 

[Jeks]

Day was awesome.
Most productive day i had maybe in years and at the same time very enjoyable.

Last point on my list is PIED.

 

[Jeks]

Day was productive and enjoyable. The last time i felt an upwards spike with my mood, my MW became stronger. I hope that this pattern will repeat itself in the next days.

Does anyone know the movie "k-pax"? Does it have any sex or nude scenes in it?

 

[wecandoit]

Day was productive and enjoyable. The last time i felt an upwards spike with my mood, my MW became stronger. I hope that this pattern will repeat itself in the next days.

Does anyone know the movie "k-pax"? Does it have any sex or nude scenes in it?

Days when I get a spike in my mood are the best. I've been experiencing fluctuations with my current streak. I've felt kind of lethargic for the last 3 days or so.

I don't know if that movie has sex scenes in it but I don't want to check out either.  ;D

 

[Jeks]

Well thanks for your help wcdi  ;D
Had a lot of vivid dreams at night, mostly not pleasant. Also i had one porn dream. I dreamt i would accidently bump into porn. Iwas not able to stop, but before more had happened, i woke up. Could not sleep for two hours, also had a few porn and sex fantasies. I am now a little tired and sluggish in the morning, but its not too bad. Just wanna continue my good things and work ethic, i've got going right now.

Keep going guys

 

[Jeks]

Even though it was a more productive day compared to many other days in the last month or so, i didnt get done what i had planned for today.  Tried to see it as a sign, that my body and mind seem to need some rest. Still made pretty good progress though.

 

[Jeks]

Good morning guys

Tendency to have a little stronger erections (70-90%) with longer durations at night and in the morning. Its giving me hope.
Today ive got my therapy session, which means that my day is usually a bit choppy. Want to try to still get things done. Maybe ive got to slowing down my pace a little more in general to get a better quality of life.

 

[Jeks]

Day went pretty well. Wasnt quite able to achieve all the things i planned, but still productive and successful.

 

[Jeks]

Had a few sex and porn dreams at night. Woke up with some pretty good (80-90%), but shortlived MW. Nothing special today, just trying to maintain my good habits and continue working on having a good life.