First time posting here. Want to get rid of this. I heard support helps.

[Jeks]

If you commit to do absolutely anything to dont let that hapening, it wont.
Were all afraid, but dont let that crippling you. You know whats the right thing to do.

What also really helped me to deal with the urges, was to listen or watch podcasts or vids about porn addiction, especially interviews and presentations with gary wilson, also gabe deem and noah church.
Try this next time, when the urges become very strong.

 

[wecandoit]

What also really helped me to deal with the urges, was to listen or watch podcasts or vids about porn addiction, especially interviews and presentations with gary wilson, also gabe deem and noah church.
Try this next time, when the urges become very strong.

Yes, this works for the psychic. This addiction is all in the brain, that's where it comes from. It brainwashes our thoughts. It makes us feel like a relapse is what we want and need. It makes us feel that we are like this, that everything is not just withdrawal, that it's a part of us. We need to introduce new thoughts in our mind. What I like to do is watch videos with guys that are who I would like to be and then look at myself from their perspective: What would they say if they saw me edging to porn for hours? What would I say if I was that guy and saw myself do this? I watch the videos when it's hard and I tell myself: A guy like that doesn't edge to porn, I won't either.

 

[k-fff]

If you commit to do absolutely anything to dont let that hapening, it wont.
Were all afraid, but dont let that crippling you. You know whats the right thing to do.

What also really helped me to deal with the urges, was to listen or watch podcasts or vids about porn addiction, especially interviews and presentations with gary wilson, also gabe deem and noah church.
Try this next time, when the urges become very strong.

I can't really watch vids being in China, but where are the podcasts? Right now, I am on day three and I keep getting big urges I don't know why.

What also really helped me to deal with the urges, was to listen or watch podcasts or vids about porn addiction, especially interviews and presentations with gary wilson, also gabe deem and noah church.
Try this next time, when the urges become very strong.

Yes, this works for the psychic. This addiction is all in the brain, that's where it comes from. It brainwashes our thoughts. It makes us feel like a relapse is what we want and need. It makes us feel that we are like this, that everything is not just withdrawal, that it's a part of us. We need to introduce new thoughts in our mind. What I like to do is watch videos with guys that are who I would like to be and then look at myself from their perspective: What would they say if they saw me edging to porn for hours? What would I say if I was that guy and saw myself do this? I watch the videos when it's hard and I tell myself: A guy like that doesn't edge to porn, I won't either.

In a lot of ways, porn destroys our pride.  Bingeing and relapsing right now is frustrating. I will probably not be on her for a few days. I want to stay off the computer for at least 3 days

 

[k-fff]

Relapsed this morning. Did not binge or edge. Just a quick thing. Probably should not have used it while i was tired will form more of an association. Not as depressed or upset if I don't edge. I can keep busy for three days and I get past the initial hump things get easier. Don't want to complain anymore.

 

[Jeks]

https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/miscellaneous-resources/your-brain-in-the-cybersex-jungle-radio-show-archived-shows-2013-2014/

Can you ooen this link? Cant you open youtube at all? I got nearly all my informations from there.

 

[k-fff]

https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/miscellaneous-resources/your-brain-in-the-cybersex-jungle-radio-show-archived-shows-2013-2014/

Can you ooen this link? Cant you open youtube at all? I got nearly all my informations from there.

Sadly can't access the podcasts. Youtube is completely blocked in China with a lot of other websites. It is not too bad in that regard because I don't have the instagram, youtube, reddit problems many guys I have. Right now, I just have a generalized association with the internet and porn that needs to be broken so everytime I am online i am not getting smacked with urges.

 

[k-fff]

I think I probably have the worst luck with getting sick. This is my third time getting sick in like 5 weeks. Now, it is the stomach flue and I am dying .

 

[Jeks]

https://ia800302.us.archive.org/12/items/yourBrainInTheCybersexJungleShowNo.1_457/cyber20120911.mp3

Are you able to open this link?
I will keep searching.

 

[k-fff]

Thanks for trying to help me out with this. Day 1 and Day 2 I had a lot of urges. Today is just okay. I am gonna get back to posting everyday because this helped when it was consistent.

 

[Jeks]

When you give me an email adress i think i am able to send you these as mp3.

 

[k-fff]

relapsed

 

[k-fff]

I should talk about this relapse before I forget. I was having urges all day and yesterday I peeked at a video which might have led into this. Besides that, watching anime gives a lot of triggers now, not because I am into that type of p, but I think I developed in association with simply watching anime then moving onto porn. Right now, I need a clear strategy to deal with urges. Other than that for the next three days I have to stay off the internet otherwise I will be too tempted. Before, what led me to get 13 and 11 days was looking and reading people's journal's on here. I think that might have been a novelty derived thing more than anything else. Today, I spent way too much time on the computer. I recovered quite a lot from my sickness so that is good. When I am sick, I don't really like to look or have urges being exhausted and miserable like that. I don't think I am trying hard enough to quit this or I am just being careless even though I remember how good sex was before I relapsed and I could feel my body healing more and more. I had sex with a new girl on new years day and ever since then I have had repeated relapses maybe do to a chaser effect initially? then I sank back into an old cycle. I need to decide if I am gonna use this as accountability or stay off of it. I think I should use it as accountability the most because when I was doing that I had more success and reminding myself I would have to go on here and say I relapsed or something else would stop me from relapsing. Even after just relapsing, my body is telling me to do it again. I get in a mindset of eff it this day is already ruined, but I need to mitigate this as much as possible. I really don't want quitting porn to become so central to my life, but while I was thinking that now, it already is because it sucks my motivation and time. I guess I have to focus on it for at least 90 days to get back to normal. I don't want to be stuck on this for years. I say that, yet I keep relapsing ha.

 

[k-fff]

And relapsed again. After today, I am getting two weeks no matter what. I am gonna post everyday also. Whenever I get urges I am gonna post in someone's journal, or just go outside and take a walk. I am going to get this under control. I have to.

 

[k-fff]

have insomnia now because of the at least 2 hours edging and subsequent relapses. Porn doesn't help me sleep. It makes it harder to sleep for myself. I usually have insomnia the night of
a relapse. Other thoughts on why I relapsed, bored in a word, trying to rest from being sick and i got really tired of being stuck at home.

 

[wecandoit]

have insomnia now because of the at least 2 hours edging and subsequent relapses. Porn doesn't help me sleep. It makes it harder to sleep for myself. I usually have insomnia the night of
a relapse. Other thoughts on why I relapsed, bored in a word, trying to rest from being sick and i got really tired of being stuck at home.

I know, bro. Porn addiction becomes our medicine and our entertainment. One thing I like to do when I have urges is think about them as withdrawal. I say: "It's not what I want, it's not what I need, it's not who I am, it's the withdrawal because I am an addict." Only time heals. We could do whatever we want to ease our pain but only time makes us quit the addiction. Meanwhile, what we experience is withdrawal. It calms me down when I do this. I tell myself: "It's withdrawal, man. Fuck the urges, the fantasies and shit. And porn doesn't heal anything. It doesn't cure boredom, depression, anxiety, anger you name it. I don't need it. I don't need to do anything about it."

 

[Jeks]

You will make it!

 

[k-fff]

Day 1
Was late to work, really made my boss angry due to the insomnia. I have teacher training over the weekend and into the next week ending on Wednesday. I keep remembering wow i am an idiot for relapsing yesterday insomnia is always a withdrawal symptom for me and I have to work over the weekend which is depressing. Negative motivation works the best for me because right now, I am quite well adjusted even with my porn problem. I have sank deep enough in it. I spent a lot of time getting used to being social despite low energy and now that I look back a lot of my problems were made worse by fapping. I often never gave it a second thought, but most likely my extreme social anxiety was made really by fapping. I made peace with the shitty course my life took 5 years ago, but it still hurts to think about now.

The reasons why I want to quit porn. It causes insomnia. It makes me depressed and anxious. I don't want to have kids and wife while also using porn. I want to move forward with my goals considering I have been stuck in limbo for 2 years since this habit has gotten more out of control. I am still young. I still can move forward and I want to be great. Anybody who doesn't want to accomplish great things is lying to themselves.

 

[wecandoit]

Was late to work, really made my boss angry due to the insomnia. I have teacher training over the weekend and into the next week ending on Wednesday. I keep remembering wow i am an idiot for relapsing yesterday insomnia is always a withdrawal symptom for me and I have to work over the weekend which is depressing.

Porn does changes to the brain. Problems are supposed to happen. Your insomnia is a sign that your brain is fucked up right now. You are not an idiot for relapsing, you are an addict. The addiction bypasses the: "I know I've suffered terribly because of engaging with the behavior, now I will stay away from it." How many times do we tell ourselves that this is the last time? Only time will heal and we have to go through the pain of withdrawal to be free. Those of us who won't, will never escape. Sometimes I doubt my ability to be one of those who will be addicts no more.

Negative motivation works the best for me because right now, I am quite well adjusted even with my porn problem. I have sank deep enough in it. I spent a lot of time getting used to being social despite low energy and now that I look back a lot of my problems were made worse by fapping. I often never gave it a second thought, but most likely my extreme social anxiety was made really by fapping. I made peace with the shitty course my life took 5 years ago, but it still hurts to think about now.

I, too, suffer from high social and general anxiety and I also think my porn addiction has a lot to say about it. Maybe it didn't create my anxiety problems but for sure it made them way worse. Porn addiction fucks up the brain. I can't be a heavy porn addict and not expect something not to go wrong. In my case, it destabilized my brain quite nicely. It safe to say that I'm pretty fucked up because of this, that's why it's absolutely necessary that we quit porn, for our mental health.

 

[k-fff]

Was late to work, really made my boss angry due to the insomnia. I have teacher training over the weekend and into the next week ending on Wednesday. I keep remembering wow i am an idiot for relapsing yesterday insomnia is always a withdrawal symptom for me and I have to work over the weekend which is depressing.

Porn does changes to the brain. Problems are supposed to happen. Your insomnia is a sign that your brain is fucked up right now. You are not an idiot for relapsing, you are an addict. The addiction bypasses the: "I know I've suffered terribly because of engaging with the behavior, now I will stay away from it." How many times do we tell ourselves that this is the last time? Only time will heal and we have to go through the pain of withdrawal to be free. Those of us who won't, will never escape. Sometimes I doubt my ability to be one of those who will be addicts no more.

Negative motivation works the best for me because right now, I am quite well adjusted even with my porn problem. I have sank deep enough in it. I spent a lot of time getting used to being social despite low energy and now that I look back a lot of my problems were made worse by fapping. I often never gave it a second thought, but most likely my extreme social anxiety was made really by fapping. I made peace with the shitty course my life took 5 years ago, but it still hurts to think about now.

I, too, suffer from high social and general anxiety and I also think my porn addiction has a lot to say about it. Maybe it didn't create my anxiety problems but for sure it made them way worse. Porn addiction fucks up the brain. I can't be a heavy porn addict and not expect something not to go wrong. In my case, it destabilized my brain quite nicely. It safe to say that I'm pretty fucked up because of this, that's why it's absolutely necessary that we quit porn, for our mental health.

I had to do a lot of stoic exercises to get over my social anxiety. Now even with this addiction, I can mingle quite easily. Without a doubt though, I am worse off because of my p habit and I feel like a lot of my unhappiness in the past was exacerbated by fapping habits. At the end of the day, reminding myself that I need to focus on this and suffer some is important. I really appreciate the responses Wecan. I haven't been commenting on other's journal's as much because I sank into sort of a malaise over my relapses. I looked back at my previous successes and a big thing that helped me get pass the first few days was by being more active on here. A large degree of that was the shame due to relapsing and I do think that shame is important to motivate you not to relapse again. Pushing each other towards better lives is what matters.

 

[k-fff]

Day 2
Did not sleep well because my coworkers are a bunch of obnoxious drunkards. MO'ed last night to help with sleep was difficult to O because of the porn use the past few days, but I did to a fantasy of a previous encounter I had. I am having no visible chaser effects and I have had no urges.
Reasons I want to quit porn
It makes depressed and anxious. It causes severe insomnia which often results in my getting sick and missing out in improving myself. It has exacerbated emotional issues I have had and kills my motivation. I don't want to spend my time scrolling through p in zombie mode like I have spent too many hours these past 2 years. I am regaining my control over this every day and I am going to reach 14 days.