Hey k-fff,
for me, i sometimes do a visualization exercise, when i feel like i loose a little sight of everything.
I then often times feel like i have more leverage over myself concerning the particular thing i want to change.
I would do the following: record yourself a memo with you reading this text and then play it for yourself and follow along. Maybe its a good idea to do this exercise more than once.
But you can also just try the exercise, without listening to anything, just by following the principal ideas i think.
I have got it from a self help guy called leo gura.
As the "good habit" mentioned in the exercise, i think you dont have to use a particular one. You could also imagine your life playing out just without porn. But you can maybe also try to set you a certain habit you wanna put in place instead of engaging in porn, but thats not how it worked for me.
"Go ahead and sit back. Close your eyes and relax. Keep your back up straight. As you?re doing that, and your eyes are closed, listen along and follow along, and use your imagination.
Your eyes are closed now. Go ahead and take a nice, deep breath in. Then exhale. As you?re exhaling, release all the tension from your body. Get in touch with your body, really feel your body. Notice it, notice every part. Now take another deep breath in, and exhale. Relax your body even more as you?re exhaling.
Feel the rest of your body. Feel all the other parts of your body that you haven?t felt yet. Now let?s take one more deep breath, and as you breathe in and exhale, on the exhale you?re going to release every muscle in your body. You?re going to completely relax it and let it go loose. Ready?
Really get in touch with your body. Get in touch with the soles of your feet. Feel the soles of your feet. Feel the tips of your toes. Feel your legs. Feel your butt on the cushion or the surface you?re sitting on. Feel your back muscles. Feel your shoulder muscles. Feel your hands, and feel all the way into your fingertips. Now feel the muscles in your neck and relax those.
Move that awareness of the muscles in your neck up into the muscles in your face. As you?re feeling all your facial muscles, relax all of those too. Now you should be really relaxed and really in touch with your whole body. Notice how you?re breathing, just at a nice, even, steady pace. Keep your attention on that. Now we?re going to do a little visualisation exercise.
Keep your eyes closed and follow along. What I want you to do is imagine that bad habit that?s really plaguing you, that you would like to drop. Really picture it. Picture how it plays itself out throughout the day. Picture how it plays itself out throughout the week. I want you to imagine that this habit isn?t going anywhere, that this habit is going to stay, and it?s stuck with you forever, for the rest of your life.
I want you to imagine what the next month will look like, of this bad habit continuing to act itself out. Imagine all the pain that?s involved with that. Imagine the disappointment you see in others. Imagine how disappointed you are in yourself ? the guilt, whatever this is costing you. Now let?s project that a year into the future. Imagine a year goes by, and this negative habit is stuck with you.
It?s not changing. You?re not changing it. It?s been acting for a whole year, every single day, three hundred and sixty five days. Imagine what the cost of that is, tallied up for three hundred and sixty five days. All the struggle, all the pain. Now let?s project that five years into the future. Imagine five years goes by, and you change nothing about this habit.
This bad habit is with you, and in fact, it?s getting even stronger, because a negative habit tends to get worse if you don?t work on it. Now imagine five years? worth of all the negative accumulation of the effects and the repercussions of this negative habit. How does it affect your work? How does it affect your family? How does it affect your own psychology? How does it make you feel about yourself, to be so weak?
Now let?s project this ten years into the future. Imagine ten years of this negative habit working on you, working on your life. What does your life look like, ten years from now, from the ravages of this bad habit? What is going to happen if you keep doing what you?ve been doing? Really picture it. That?s the real cost.
Now clear that image out of your mind, maybe think of something else, totally irrelevant. You might think of sucking on a crisp cold lemon wedge, feeling the soreness on your tongue. That?ll be a little bit of a palette cleanser for you. Keep your eyes closed, and we?re going to move on the second part of this visualisation.
What I want you to do is clear your mind and think about the new habit that you?re putting into place, to replace this bad habit. What?s the good habit? What are you going to be doing with all that time? I want you to imagine that new habit operating on you, every single day for the next week. What would it look like, just for the next week, for you to be doing that new habit, and no longer doing the old one? How would it feel? How would you feel about yourself? Would you have more energy? Would you feel more successful? Would you be more caring? Would you be more conscious?
Let?s take that and project it out to a whole month, thirty days. For thirty days you?re doing this good habit. How does it make you feel to do thirty days of it? Thirty straight days of this accumulating positive effect of the good dhabi. How does it make you feel about yourself? What does it do for your life? How does it free up your life from all those negative emotions? What kind of opportunities does it open for you?
Let?s take that and project it a year into the future. Imagine three hundred and sixty five days have passed, and you have been on this good habit for three hundred and sixty five days. Imagine how much you accomplished during that time, the kind of gains you make in that domain where you?re practising this new activity.
What kind of gains do you make? What kind of successes does this lead to? What kind of rewards does it create, both physical and emotional? How proud do you feel of yourself for doing it for that long?
Let?s project it out five years into the future. Imagine you were doing this for five years, this positive habit. How much benefit have you received from it? Can you see all the little gradual accumulations and how big those have grown, how much they?ve expanded and completely transformed your life, how proud you feel of yourself for having done this?
Let?s project this ten years into the future. Imagine ten years from now, you?ve been on this positive habit, for every single day. Picture all the accumulated positive effects. Feel how you would feel. Feel how proud you would feel if you did this for ten years straight. Think of how this would affect every area of your life, from your work, to your relationships, to your family.
Think about how inspirational you would be to everyone around you, if you actually were able to do this. You could share the success of your story with them, and inspire them to also do the same in their lives, to improve their lives in the ways you improved yours.
Go ahead and wrap that up at your own pace. Finish that visualisation. Bask in it a little bit. At your own pace, on the count of three, you are going to come out and come back to me nice and refreshed, and feeling good. Here?s the count ? one, two, three. Welcome back.
Right now, because you are in this state you are receptive and you are engaged. You?re ready. This is the time to commit. I want a hundred percent commitment from you that you are going to drop this bad habit. We know how toxic it is to your life. We also know how much it?s costing you in terms of all the potential you have, all the dreams that are going unfulfilled because of it. It?s weighing you down so much.
Commit right now, one hundred percent ? not ninety nine ? one hundred percent that you?re going to do no matter what to make this work. No matter how many times you have to try, you?re going to do it, and you?re going to give it your best. "
