Good evening guys.... It's
Day 2 for me since my last relapse.
It's great to see your messages. Thanks for your encouragement kopp, Sanders and glacier. For your advice glacier.... It makes sense. But I kind of doubt that's the problem for me. I do enjoy movies more when I watch it alone too. It kind of help me form my own thoughts and perspective of what I'm watching rather than having a commentary or suggestive looks and reactions from the next person. But thanks for the advice, I really appreciate it.
More than movies there's one thing I've noticed as far back as I can remember for years... For every relapse, I failed that day to do my devotional. This happens at least 95% of the time. The more far away I am from God... The more I have less resolve and fighting power to not act... It seems as though I'm setting myself up. I can compare my whole journey with masturbation to the story of the Isrealites and their consecutive turning away from God in the Bible.
That's why I term my time with devotional, meditations and prayer my most crucial strand in the bunch for recovery. Personally, thats my experience.
About, today it was great. My twin brother, ( Yeah, I have a twin... Unidentical though) launched his online Instagram store today @Marvic_empire. It was great, I got to apply my skills as a graphic designer for him which was rewarding as well as fulfilling for me. And I'm so happy for him. I got to work today late and was playing catch up most of the day. But as always it ends with me learning something new even though it's just for a little bit. I need to go online and aid myself with videos about electrical wiring to better understand what's going on.
soumahaka said:
Hi bro, I think you are abusing the goal of the forum. Instead of posting every day what you do and face, it will be wise to learn deeply about addiction and read others stories to motivate you rather than posting every single day what you are doing. Thanks.
To soumahaka, I was really stunned with your reply.... Partly because I didn't understand what you meant by the abuse... But trying to understand what you were saying, I think you meant that I should leave writing about my experience on a forum since I keep stumbling and just try to learn from other forums who have authors doing pretty well with their recovery, also invest time in learning more about the addiction through materials available.
I agree with you that I need to invest more time learning more through materials available on the site and also on other channels. To be honest I feel I don't do that as much as I should... Thanks for pointing that out for me.
But on the other hand, I don't believe there's any abuse with talking about my experiences daily both failures and victories. I think that's the whole point of having the forums. It's put out there so people can learn from your experience and also connect with others who have similar experiences.
Also, No one is perfect. Today the topic of my devotional said
'It's never too late'. And quote the author
" No matter how long you have travelled in the wrong direction, you can always turn around. With Jesus it?s never too late to make a new start and ensure that your life is set in the right direction."
It's been a real boost and encouragement for me. It just seemed as though God was talking directly to me.
So.tge purpose of entries is not to prove you're living the best of your life or showing the way to those who are so unfortunate to be burdened with recurring relapses and guilt. No! It's to help you and me reflect on our lives our actions and become better people, find solutions and connect with others who are going through the same issues as you or have gone through them.
If there's one good thing this addiction to pornography and masturbation has taught me, it has helped me to stop judging others no matter what they've done and how bad it might seem; it has helped me to start with understanding and humility when reacting to other people's faults.
Thank you guys again for your replies. And sorry for the long reply
Keep pushing back!
Chris
