guitar1968
Well-Known Member
Thanks for all the support everyone. I'm definitely struggling and at a place that things could slide down or I can right the ship.
I have masturbated twice in the last two weeks. Both times in the bathroom, not in front of a computer. However, I'm finding it hard not to go to some porn fantasy in my head. Well, let's say fantasy born from porn. What I mean is, I'm not playing a scene in my head that I liked or a specific porn person, but I'm fantasizing about a person I had two hookups with many years ago and I'm adding on to that fantasy. I'm adding new scenes so to speak. So, not porn, but certainly with things that porn has ingrained in my head.
I'm still not feeling like I have to watch porn. I think I have enough stored in my brain to last the rest of my life. But I also don't want to feel this need to start masturbating all the time. 2 times in the last 2 weeks is too much. So, I have to be very careful here. I can feel the PMO side pulling me and I feel the past six months also pulling me in the other direction. Trying win the battle here and keep moving forward.
I'll keep checking in and reporting back. I'm not panicking yet. But I am a bit nervous. I don't want to let the old me back in the door.
Stay strong friends. Never give up.
I have masturbated twice in the last two weeks. Both times in the bathroom, not in front of a computer. However, I'm finding it hard not to go to some porn fantasy in my head. Well, let's say fantasy born from porn. What I mean is, I'm not playing a scene in my head that I liked or a specific porn person, but I'm fantasizing about a person I had two hookups with many years ago and I'm adding on to that fantasy. I'm adding new scenes so to speak. So, not porn, but certainly with things that porn has ingrained in my head.
I'm still not feeling like I have to watch porn. I think I have enough stored in my brain to last the rest of my life. But I also don't want to feel this need to start masturbating all the time. 2 times in the last 2 weeks is too much. So, I have to be very careful here. I can feel the PMO side pulling me and I feel the past six months also pulling me in the other direction. Trying win the battle here and keep moving forward.
I'll keep checking in and reporting back. I'm not panicking yet. But I am a bit nervous. I don't want to let the old me back in the door.
Stay strong friends. Never give up.