Road to freedom

cookiemonster

cookiemonster

Active Member
Thanks Gohan.

Today is proving to be the hardest day of my entire reboot.

That dream + being home alone has made urges really strong.

I've got uni work to do which I have been avoiding and it's taking a lot of my strength to get through today.

I'm going to relax and remind myself that not relapsing is the most important thing in my life right now. If I spend all of my energy on that, then today is still a success.

Going to go for a walk, listen to a nice podcast and calm down.

Relapsing is not an option.
 
cookiemonster

cookiemonster

Active Member
I've been feeling down the past couple of days. I feel tired, my mood is low and the reboot feels harder.

As weird as the analogy is, I'll consider this to be like a caterpillar going into a cocoon waiting to come out transformed. I'm going through the tunnel and even though I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel yet, I know it's coming.

As tough as things are, we're FUCKING STAYING THE COURSE! Relapsing is not an option. That is not who I am anymore. That is not something I do anymore.
 
cookiemonster

cookiemonster

Active Member
Hey guys.

All is good but getting through today is going to be a huge challenge for me.

I'm going to have to stay up late to finish uni assignments, I'm very stressed and I feel horny as fuck. I erection tested in the shower this morning, while I'm glad my dick is working I think it's made the triggers today hit me harder. I also just feel like going this long without orgasm has built some tension. I had some precum discharge in my pants earlier.

No way am I relapsing. I'll fail these uni assignments and sleep out in the cold before that happens.

Posting this here to see me through the night and I'll post here when I'm on the other side.

SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE!
 
cookiemonster

cookiemonster

Active Member
Cheers Blondie. Been a busy last few days but happy to have made it through and even more proud that I'm steering clear of porn.

Definitely feeling a better presence when I'm around girls. Without porn you have some sort of different aura, you're sharper.
 
cookiemonster

cookiemonster

Active Member
I was shaving in the shower and it's a lot easier if I'm a little erect while doing so. That led to me edging a little but I stopped before things got out of hand.

Posting here to remind myself to go back to my no-touch-dick rule as that way I won't slip up. My dick is mostly working. Not as wild as it was in the first reboot with rock solid erections coming out of nowhere but I put that down to the fact that I was stimulating my dick too much.

For me it's useful to avoid masturbation just as much as porn because last streak things started going downhill after I mo'd.

No porn nor fantisizing was involved in the shower.

Posting here to gather my thoughts and realign my resolve. Things are going well, let's keep it that way. Onwards!
 
cookiemonster

cookiemonster

Active Member
Suffering the consequences of the edging in the shower and feeling urges.

Going to go have a shower now and writing here to commit to the no-touch-dick rule which has helped me get so far hahaha.

Not long until I hit the two month mark of no pmo, no mo, no o
 
cookiemonster

cookiemonster

Active Member
8 weeks no pmo, no mo, no o

Good to be here.

However, I edged again in the shower this morning. So things really are slipping. Not sure what to do. I feel like I'm an inch a way from busting a nut all the time :').
 
Blondie

Blondie

Respected Member
Well remember, it's always better to bust one than look at porn! They're definitely not the same thing. I say this if push comes to shove of course.

Congrats on 8 weeks. That is a great achievement!
 
cookiemonster

cookiemonster

Active Member
Blondie said:
Well remember, it's always better to bust one than look at porn! They're definitely not the same thing. I say this if push comes to shove of course.

Congrats on 8 weeks. That is a great achievement!
Click to expand...
Yep good point. If it comes down to it, mo is better than porn.

I'm going to keep fighting the good fight though and fight mo as well as porn because in my last reboot mo led to pmo.

My ultimate goal is to be with women, not my own hand.
 
cookiemonster

cookiemonster

Active Member
I have mo'd 4 times in the last 24h, but no porn.

I can feel myself losing control though and my resolve and good habits slipping.

My dick works, but my erection strength has diminished with each mo.

I have learned from my last relapse. That is why I am posting here now. This is my circuit breaker. Last time things just got worse and worse until I watched porn again.

I have come so far in this streak, and i will be throwing it all away if I continue on my current trajectory.

I need to stabilize again. I don't normally do this but I'm going to set myself a short term goal.

For the next 3 days I will post here in the evening updating my progress. If I so much as MO I will consider that enough to reset my streak. I need to win this fight otherwise it will just decay into porn use again.

This is my final stand and I'm defending my freedom. If I win this battle I can see myself winning the war. This is an important few days.

To succeed I need to stop wasting my days procrastinating and instead get busy. That is key. At every cross road in the next few days I'm going to make the decision I know to be right. There's a lot riding on it.

FuckkkkkkKKKKK
 
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