Porn is not an option

GBS

Well-Known Member
I can so clearly remember your one year anniversary and now we;re looking at 18 months round the corner. It’s utterly phenomenal. I truly would not be where I am without you. I know I put pressures on you once before and I won’t do it again, except actually I know this message is pressure and everyone else’s messages to you are pressure. You know that, right? We all know it. Thing is…..you say no sweat…..fuck porn……follow the leader.

Let’s do this together.
 

Blondie

Respected Member
@Galatians51: Thank you sir, I'm glad you got something out of it. Keep fighting the good fight.

@SmokenMirrors: Thank you king! We've been slaying this bastard together now for almost a year. Let's rout the beast once and for all! Thanks for inspiring.

@Winnerwhoabstains: Thanks man. You can do this too. One day at a time. Keep up the fight!

@GBS: Thank you sir. I know what you mean, time flies when you're having fun and not doing stupid shit that leaves you in shame and regret. I think I can honestly say I wouldn't be here without you. You mean a lot to me, so thank you. Thanks for your openness and honesty, it's always refreshing to read your thread. And don't worry about the "pressure thing". You're right though, it's kind of hard to congratulate someone and NOT put pressure on them. But that's okay, it keeps me on the straight and narrow.

Bless you.
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Thank you @Ezel!

You're like the rock around these here parts, safe and secure, a bulwark to the tempest of our insane world. I don't think I would have come so far without you, and I really mean that. We've been in the trenches now for a whole year together, so let's keep on giving the enemy hell. There's been days I wanted to retreat, but then I realized, "Dammit, Ezel burned down my boat!!" :cool:

Love you brother, keep on inspiring.
 
Hey @Galatians51, good question. I believe those "responsibilities he's talking about would be responsibilities that would traditional would have been considered "masculine". Such as, leadership at work and the home, assertiveness and getting the job done over people's feelings, decisiveness, competitiveness, and choosing work over the family and relationships if push comes to shove among other things. The author from what I can tell, has no problem with women doing any of these things (nor do I), and more to the point, women have proven that they can do them, however, he's only pointing out that modern women when learning these more masculine traits (often by necessity I might add), more often than not lose those holy traits of femininity that our world so desperately needs. Traits such as empathy, non competitiveness, agreeability, family and relationships over career (though don't get me wrong they can still have one) etc. We all, both man and woman, can share both the masculine and feminine essence to some an extent, however, we will only be comfortable living mostly in one category or the other. However, yes, there are exceptions.

The problem with the modern world is that it has told women that the only way to be "strong" is to act like men. However, last time I checked, there is nothing stronger in this world than the essence of a truly feminine woman who is confident in what she brings to the table. In my day, a strong female character was Ripley from Aliens, whose strength lied in her feminine and maternal instincts, and not in her psychical strength. She was strong because she wanted to protect the little annoying kid from the aliens etc. This beautiful maternal instinct made her almost as strong as the men in the movie, certainly stronger than many! However, nowadays, female "warriors" in movies are able to kick men's asses twice the size of them, something that is against nature and truth.

The world needs beauty, and only women, feminine women, can bring that back to the world. Of course us men have plenty of work to do ourselves, but don't even get me started on that subject.

I don't know if I agree with everything the author posits, but it's good so far

Best to you.
100%. I don't get women who try to be overly masculine, there are very important biological differences that you just can't wash away with political propaganda. At the end of the day, women like an in-shape, assertive man(not aggressive / controlling though, there's a difference). This is timeless. Lot of things like this, above is just an example

I avoid Type-A career women like the plague. Don't get me wrong, a woman should be able to do whatever she wants just as a man should. I just personally do not find that type of masculine energy appealing in any way, whether friend of relationship. And I'd wager >80% of guys would agree
 

Blondie

Respected Member
You can and you will my man, excited for you!
Thank you @First_step_thousand_miles! It's getting close.
100%. I don't get women who try to be overly masculine, there are very important biological differences that you just can't wash away with political propaganda. At the end of the day, women like an in-shape, assertive man(not aggressive / controlling though, there's a difference). This is timeless. Lot of things like this, above is just an example

I avoid Type-A career women like the plague. Don't get me wrong, a woman should be able to do whatever she wants just as a man should. I just personally do not find that type of masculine energy appealing in any way, whether friend of relationship. And I'd wager >80% of guys would agree
Yes, much of it is "political propaganda" and we're going far beyond just trying to be "equal", which I have no problem with whatsoever. But we won't get into politics.

As for me, I have no problem with career women, I find them pretty sexy to be honest, my lady is one. To me it's more of the personality of the woman, and certain careers demand certain dispositions. My girlfriend has a great career, but it's very much a care-taking type of career, which is perfect for her, because she couldn't hurt a fly if she was forced to. She has empathy is spades but absolutely zero sense of a competitive spirit within her. But there is still a difference, she likes her career and she is quite good at it, however, relationships to her are the most important part in her life, which I think is the defying feminine characteristic. I've even bought her a book years ago on how to be assertive at work, because I didn't want some assholes (men or women) taking advantage of her. She's pretty assertive these days and I'm pretty proud about that.

I do see your point about type-A type personalities, though I do think there are some women who are that way naturally and it has nothing to do with our current political propaganda, just like there are some men who are more on the "feminine side", and that's okay. However, for most of us, as you rightly pointed out, we fit somewhere between the masculine and feminine extreme. Although I have been attracted to some ladies in the past who had a very kick ass personality to them, I do wonder how long a relationship like that would last, because your right, I don't think it would be very appealing on a long term basis. I'm alreadly an insanely competitive man, goal focused, mission more important than personal relationships to some extent, and I can't imagine coming home to someone exactly the same way as me. I imagine the whole thing would be very tiring after a while, with both of us trying to outcompete each other etc., probably even in the sack! She would be more like a man friend than a sexual companion who could make you see the world in different ways, which is what I love about feminine women. I have my man friends to reconfirm my masculine awesomeness.

It's funny, we're often told that men who don't like "strong independent women" are just not "strong" enough to handle one. I know what this is trying to say, because there are men in this world who are like that, however, the comment is given in general and is placed at the feet of "all men". Not cool. Once again, strong is defined as a man: aggressive, extremely independent, choosing work over relationships and family, and more often than not, imitating the worst aspects of a "strong" man. Alpha males are not considered cool these days, unless they're a woman! Last time I checked, my girl is extremely strong, strong in her total love and devotion for her family and animals, but if you chose to fuck with them, you will experience the total wrath of her demon goddess inside, and you will wish you were killed off by a strong Rambo type of man, and not by this insane feminine women. :cool:

Rambo doesn't have shit on her and all other feminine women, and that's because they know their strength has never derived from imitating the masculine spirit.

My God save us from our sins.
 
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Blondie

Respected Member
Well, I have good news! Ever since I've been here at RN, I've never really known precisely how long my longest streak was, all I ever knew was that it was a little less than a year and a half. I think I've given all kinds of different "lengths", ranging from 525 days to 535 etc. However, this always bothered me because I really wanted to know, especially recently, so I could officially celebrate my new longest streak ever. I realized today that there was a way for me to figure this out, if not the exact day, pretty damn close. I forgot that every year my lady and I do this event in the fall, and more importantly, we always have our picture taken together with a date on it. I recall with 100% accuracy that that infamous fall when I showed up to this event, I had just relapsed and was absolutely heartbroken to say the least. Well today I remembered this fact and found the date so now I know roughly when I relapsed. The day of the event would have been on my 517th day, of course, I didn't make it that far. Although I can't remember the exact day I looked at porn, I know for sure it was within that week prior to the event, somewhere between day 510-515. Thus, my celebration day will be on day 517! Of course, it probably was two or five days before, but since I don't remember exactly, I will just celebrate on the day that I know for sure would be longest streak ever.

This might seem a little crazy to some, but quite frankly, I don't give a fuck. This is really important to me, and I will make it over the finish line if it kills me. I tell you what, to see that picture of me that day is just heartbreaking to say the least. I'm sitting there smiling but my eyes look as if I've just seen death and I'm only pretending to be having fun. I had been so happy just a few weeks before that picture, but then, I let life "get" to me and before I knew it, I was trying to find life in the sewer again.

God is never found among the rats.

Never again. Never again.

February 26th, I'm looking at you.

Fuck porn
 
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Daybyday1988

Active Member
Dude, viewing porn after 500 days must have been a weird feeling. Probably didnt even give you any pleasure, did it? I would think by that point you would barely be sensitive to it anymore
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Dude, viewing porn after 500 days must have been a weird feeling. Probably didnt even give you any pleasure, did it? I would think by that point you would barely be sensitive to it anymore
To return was quite weird to say the least. On one hand it was totally disgusting to look at and made me viscerally sick inside, but on the other, it was an old familiar "friend" titillating in its basic simplicity and perversion. By the end of the session I felt I wanted to throw up, it was literally that bad. Naturally by that time, porn did absolutely nothing for my dick, thus I had to hoist the mast up myself which destroyed so much progress I had made. And no, it didn't fix my bad life either, just made it 20x worse than it was two hours before lol.
 
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Daybyday1988

Active Member
Thats interesting man, so you were no longer sensitive to it and had to jerk it just to get hard! You weakened the crap out of those pathways! I get it man id feel disgusted too, some of that stuff really is grotesques. Did you watch the same material as the last time you watched, or did you just watch something bland?
 

Blondie

Respected Member
You weakened the crap out of those pathways!
Yes, the process really does work, you just have to stick with it and don't do what I did. :cool:
I get it man id feel disgusted too, some of that stuff really is grotesques. Did you watch the same material as the last time you watched, or did you just watch something bland?
Just the normal stuff, tits and ass. But that's the key, when you haven't partaken for a long time, even "normal" porn feels completely perverted etc.
 

Daybyday1988

Active Member
But that's the key, when you haven't partaken for a long time, even "normal" porn feels completely perverted etc.

I guess because basically, it is perverted am I right? There is nothing wholesome about the porn world. An Interesting side note: the word "porno/graphy" comes from the greek word porneia, wiki: "Porneia is understood to involve the grossly immoral use of the genital organ(s) of at least one human; also there must have been two or more parties (including another consenting human or a beast), whether of the same sex or the opposite sex."

This perhaps is where the difference in world view comes into play. I know RN isn't exactly the proper forum for this type of discussion, but since I've seen some of your posts that go much deeper into philosophy, perhaps it is worth bringing this point up. If a person is an atheist, then watching nearly any type of material between two consenting adults shouldn't feel wrong, or prick a person's conscience to give them an uncomfortable message that it is wrong, but as you know, we all feel it. The rapid heart rate, the making sure no one is going to catch you, maybe you lock the door or block it so no one will walk in and catch you in full PMO, you put your headphones on if you watch videos, you already think about deleting the browser history, youve got your box of tissues ready, all the while something inside of you saying softly: "this is wrong, I shouldn't do this, this isn't right, stop now..."

No matter how many videos, stories, chats, etc. that you engage in with this addiction, you still have the feeling inside that "this is wrong". That is because it is, even if people cant explain why scientifically. The answer is simple: it is not how we were designed to operate sexually. Human sexuality was created by God and designed to be done in particular fashion. Therefore when we operate in that realm contrary to how it was designed, we feel an internal sense of shame, which is a good thing as it can be a stimulus to go back to the way it was designed to be.

But hey it wouldn't be Sunday without a Christian rant from me. Bless you bro,

-DbD
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Day 483

Thanks @Daybyday1988. I definitely won't be getting into any arguments about religion here, but yes, porn is a perversion of something divine and beautiful. Best to stay away, far away.

Best brother

Dick Update Mondays

I had a BJ yesterday, and the sensations down there were mind blowing to say the least. I think I've mentioned that I often preferred BJs to sex in the past, because I could feel much more sensations than I could with sex. Man, just writing that makes me feel sad 😥. However, on a positive note, since recovery, I much prefer sex to BJs these days, though don't get me wrong, they're still great. Yesterday a BJ was on the menu and boy did it blow my mind! It seems to me as I go further on, I'm learning that when all your focus (obsession?) is only on your sex organs and nothing else, that's all you will get during the act. Whereas now, during sex, it's a whole body experience, both body and mind. I literally could feel things in my finger tips and toes, and my back and spine were almost overwhelmed with pleasure. Needless to say, things are changing for the better.

Also, since we're being real, my ejaculations have improved too. It's hard to explain, but sometimes back in the day, when I would ejaculate, I would have an orgasm first, with no ejaculation, and I don't mean a dry orgasm either. Then it was necessary for my lady to keep going for a moment, and then I would have another orgasm with the ejaculation. Obviously two orgasms are nothing to complain about, however, it always felt like something was not exactly correct, like my parts down there were not firing on all cylinders at the same time or something. However, this phenomenon has almost entirely stopped, and my orgasm with the following ejaculation feels much more in sync.

In other words, if your definition of pleasure is dealing with shit like this, then keep on looking at porn. However, if a real functional sex life sounds like your cup of tea, then I would suggest you stay far away from this so called "modern pleasure".

Best everyone
 
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