Blondie
Respected Member
Day 614 (damn days are flying by!)
I feel good today, I got on the scale and it read 207lbs at 22.5% body fat, thus, I've lost 5lbs so far. I saw 207 on the scale a week ago but that was because I did some extreme measures to get there that I don't think my body much appreciated, thus over the last week, it's been slowly going down to that level again. Weight loss like quitting porn is a journey, and there's no button to push to get you there instantly. Any quick tricks or fads often don't last, you have to put in the work and reflect on the reasons why you got to this weight and shit habit in the first place.
Last night I had a little scare. I was looking at something that wasn't dangerous per se on the internet, but it had potential to be, especially if I had hung around with the wrong mindset, which I didn't have at all last night. Nevertheless, I had this extreme fear take over me for about five minutes like I might fuck up, needless to say I got the fuck out of there. I've mentioned before that I've had this happen over the course of this recovery, often with a PTSD type of reaction with sudden freezing up both physically and mentally, fearing a relapse even when you're not planning on doing anything stupid. Last night wasn't nearly as bad as usual, and I was over it before too long, but it was warning shot that I still have the potential to go down the wrong path. It's so fucked up, what little I saw, and it wasn't porn, my brain told me I might have screwed up, and I had to rationalize with myself that that wasn't the case, because it wasn't. Looks like my brain is still trying to trick me... This hasn't happened in a real long time, and I moved on very quickly, but that pathway is still there, beckoning me to go down it even at this hour, with all of its ridiculus rationalizations of why I should. Luckily, it's beginning to be very overgrown.
Fuck porn!
You all have a great porn-free weekend
I feel good today, I got on the scale and it read 207lbs at 22.5% body fat, thus, I've lost 5lbs so far. I saw 207 on the scale a week ago but that was because I did some extreme measures to get there that I don't think my body much appreciated, thus over the last week, it's been slowly going down to that level again. Weight loss like quitting porn is a journey, and there's no button to push to get you there instantly. Any quick tricks or fads often don't last, you have to put in the work and reflect on the reasons why you got to this weight and shit habit in the first place.
Last night I had a little scare. I was looking at something that wasn't dangerous per se on the internet, but it had potential to be, especially if I had hung around with the wrong mindset, which I didn't have at all last night. Nevertheless, I had this extreme fear take over me for about five minutes like I might fuck up, needless to say I got the fuck out of there. I've mentioned before that I've had this happen over the course of this recovery, often with a PTSD type of reaction with sudden freezing up both physically and mentally, fearing a relapse even when you're not planning on doing anything stupid. Last night wasn't nearly as bad as usual, and I was over it before too long, but it was warning shot that I still have the potential to go down the wrong path. It's so fucked up, what little I saw, and it wasn't porn, my brain told me I might have screwed up, and I had to rationalize with myself that that wasn't the case, because it wasn't. Looks like my brain is still trying to trick me... This hasn't happened in a real long time, and I moved on very quickly, but that pathway is still there, beckoning me to go down it even at this hour, with all of its ridiculus rationalizations of why I should. Luckily, it's beginning to be very overgrown.
Fuck porn!
You all have a great porn-free weekend
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