Porn is not an option

Artemus

Member
That is the question, "Do we want to quit?" After a bender, when I've completely exhausted myself and the shame comes, I can say "I do". When its been a while and I'm not feeling anything at all and the stress of life is bearing down, sometimes in that moment, I struggle to come up with a reason to say no... Its kinda pathetic in the clear light of day, but it feels like, in those numb moments, that I've begun a journey across a vast desert, I'm just about out of site from where I've been and all I can see before me is a vast expanse of sand, with scorching sun all day and freezing cold at night. All you have to go on are the stories from those who've sent back word of a promised land far across the other side. They say you can make it, but out there slugging through all that dry ass sand its hard to stay motivated and not long for where we've been. PMO is a dead end, but its familiar and easy. I suppose no matter your beliefs this journey takes a certain amount of faith to complete it. We have to trust that those who've gone before us aren't pulling our legs that things get better, that there is a promised land on the other side.
 

GBS

Respected Member
There are literally millions of men out there watching and masturbating to porn. They, most of them, have no intention of quitting. They don’t probably like that they are subservient to it, but they sure as hell ain’t stopping. We, on the other hand, are different. We know we have a problem. In one way we’re not different - we liked what we did but we recognised we reached a crisis point. Right there is the crucial bit. We got to stage one of recovery because we had some awakening.

I think RN can give the impression that recovery is a 90 day exercise. You just complete that and off you sail into the sunset. At one level that is true….because completing 3 months of abstinence is a fantastic foundation…..but, and sorry to shatter the shop window, it’s only a start. The commitment to stopping gets tested massively every week thereafter. But the promised land awaits. You have to believe that. Those pioneers who went before us know it’s paradise. It of course isn’t a place. It’s a state of mind. And it’s fucking wonderful.
 

tay97

Active Member
There are literally millions of men out there watching and masturbating to porn. They, most of them, have no intention of quitting. They don’t probably like that they are subservient to it, but they sure as hell ain’t stopping. We, on the other hand, are different. We know we have a problem. In one way we’re not different - we liked what we did but we recognised we reached a crisis point. Right there is the crucial bit. We got to stage one of recovery because we had some awakening.

I think RN can give the impression that recovery is a 90 day exercise. You just complete that and off you sail into the sunset. At one level that is true….because completing 3 months of abstinence is a fantastic foundation…..but, and sorry to shatter the shop window, it’s only a start. The commitment to stopping gets tested massively every week thereafter. But the promised land awaits. You have to believe that. Those pioneers who went before us know it’s paradise. It of course isn’t a place. It’s a state of mind. And it’s fucking wonderful.
AMEN.
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Day 623
205lbs and 22% body fat.


I've been on my diet now for four weeks and have lost seven pounds and 1 % body fat, I'm definitely seeing progress! Without doubt I'm taking the slower approach but I think that's good when trying to keep as much muscle as possible. I've been reflecting much about how all this fat gain over the last semester is so similar to porn watching and binging. It seemed so fun at first, even though I was never happy with myself while doing it, especially the next day waking up knowing I had all the same problems as before and the fun times didn't "fix" anything. Either way, it sure is easy putting on the pounds but taking them off is quite the chore! However, it is getting easier over the last two weeks, you kind of get used to being hungry and it becomes almost spiritual in a sense, just focusing the mind on something else until the "hunger" passes, which it always does.

That is the question, "Do we want to quit?" After a bender, when I've completely exhausted myself and the shame comes, I can say "I do". When its been a while and I'm not feeling anything at all and the stress of life is bearing down, sometimes in that moment, I struggle to come up with a reason to say no... Its kinda pathetic in the clear light of day, but it feels like, in those numb moments, that I've begun a journey across a vast desert, I'm just about out of site from where I've been and all I can see before me is a vast expanse of sand, with scorching sun all day and freezing cold at night. All you have to go on are the stories from those who've sent back word of a promised land far across the other side. They say you can make it, but out there slugging through all that dry ass sand its hard to stay motivated and not long for where we've been. PMO is a dead end, but its familiar and easy. I suppose no matter your beliefs this journey takes a certain amount of faith to complete it. We have to trust that those who've gone before us aren't pulling our legs that things get better, that there is a promised land on the other side.
Hey @Artemus, these are good thoughts.

Yes, I really do think this journey takes some kind of "faith" to get to the other side. Firstly, you have to have faith in yourself, that is, that you can get through the hard times without falling back on something that has never helped you in the first place, and in fact, has often created many of the problems you use it for. I've been reading the Norse myths recently (they're very entertaining) and it's funny that almost all of the gods' problems come from Loki, however, inevitably, Loki not only causes the problems but ALSO fixes the problems. However, porn is NOT this way. We all need to understand in every sense of the term, that porn has never ever been our friend, and as soon as we get that into our obstinate heads, the better we'll be seeing clearly about all this. Secondly, we do have to have faith in this community and the science behind recovery and all those who have gone before us, like the scouts (as you mentioned in your post) who were sent out to inquire about the promised land. Those who have gone before us and have talked about the land flowing with milk, honey, and strong boners, should be listened to and heeded. There is a light on the other side of the desert, and although I'm still walking through the shadow of death, I'm beginning to see the sun arise, and it's a beautiful sunrise indeed.

Bless you brother.

Yes, I think of it as going through The Void.
Indeed @Androg.

There are literally millions of men out there watching and masturbating to porn. They, most of them, have no intention of quitting. They don’t probably like that they are subservient to it, but they sure as hell ain’t stopping. We, on the other hand, are different. We know we have a problem. In one way we’re not different - we liked what we did but we recognised we reached a crisis point. Right there is the crucial bit. We got to stage one of recovery because we had some awakening.

I think RN can give the impression that recovery is a 90 day exercise. You just complete that and off you sail into the sunset. At one level that is true….because completing 3 months of abstinence is a fantastic foundation…..but, and sorry to shatter the shop window, it’s only a start. The commitment to stopping gets tested massively every week thereafter. But the promised land awaits. You have to believe that. Those pioneers who went before us know it’s paradise. It of course isn’t a place. It’s a state of mind. And it’s fucking wonderful.
Yes @GBS, it is amazing thinking about all the guys who have this problem but are unaware of it. Walking around campus I often think and ponder about this fact. I see all these beautiful women walking about with their intoxicating youthful femininity, and then I see all these average dudes wandering about being silly with their bros etc. However, knowing the stats that most people aren't having sex these days, I know what's probably going on when these guys are by themselves, and it's a sad thought indeed. True intimacy will never be found by the click of a mouse.

You're definitely right about the 90 day thing. I do think it's a great goal, but as you said, it's just the beginning of the journey. It's like a outlaw getting out of dodge and having passed through the first canyon, he then sees the canyon open wide into the scornful desert ahead, and then he understands where his journey will inescapably lead. Only in the desert will a man become a man and see what he's made of. Those who have returned to tell theirs tells of slaying the dragon, should be lent an ear.

Bless you Sir.


Indeed @tay97 :cool:

You all have a good porn-free Monday
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Day 625

Characteristics of men in ancient cultures and myths

- Creating masculine order out of chaos
- Solar power radiating upwards to the heavens
- Inwardly driven in their goals and ambitions
- Acting out stoically as opposed to emotionally
- Protector of family and society

Characteristics of women in ancient cultures and myths

- Representing unbridled feminine energy and earthly passions, be they sex, music, love, or art
- An earthly radiating power towards the earth and thus rebirth
- Outwardly driven in their goals, needs the support of the community
- Acting out emotionally as opposed to stoically
- Protector of her man's family and goals

Looks like we're all a bunch of women with dicks! :cool:

Just food for thought, don't take it completely literally.

Now the world needs both the feminine and the masculine spirit, one is not better than the other, and each of us have a little of both in us, and a healthy person can play both parts if need be. However, it is also equally true that the world needs men, not "alpha males" not "players" or any other ism of the modern world, but real men.

So ask yourself this, are you creating order out of chaos today?

Are you obsessed with the things of the earth, and the pussy that gives life and rebirth to us men? Now pussy and rebirth will save your soul, BUT ONLY if you're looking towards the sky and your masculine goals.

Are you focusing on your goals and your future, or are you obsessed with what the community or society thinks, and are you constantly in need of their approval: more likes, more thumbs up on social media, etc.? Are you an Instagram whore but just a phallic one?

Do your emotions guide you throughout your day, driving you off course from your goals, driving you to escape to porn or other means of vacuous entertainment? Can the world rely on you? Can your woman rely on you in her times of need? Are you a masculine rock? Or the feminine storm?

What would you die for? Do you even know? And why would any woman want you if you can't even answer that question?

Men sailed the world in ancient times, fought dragons to save the maiden, and pulled swords out of mystical rocks and not the palm of their sweaty hands! What are you doing today that someone might write about one day?

Look to the heavens gents, look to the heavens.

You all have a good porn-free Wednesday.
 
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SmokenMirrors

Well-Known Member
Day 625

Characteristics of men in ancient cultures and myths

- Creating masculine order out of chaos
- Solar power radiating upwards to the heavens
- Inwardly driven in their goals and ambitions
- Acting out stoically as opposed to emotionally
- Protector of family and society

Characteristics of women in ancient cultures and myths

- Representing unbridled feminine energy and earthly passions, be they sex, music, love, or art
- An earthly radiating power towards the earth and thus rebirth
- Outwardly driven in their goals, needs the support of the community
- Acting out emotionally as opposed to stoically
- Protector of her man's family and goals

Looks like we're all a bunch of women with dicks! :cool:

Just food for thought, don't take it completely literally.

Now the world needs both the feminine and the masculine spirit, one is not better than the other, and each of us have a little of both in us, and a healthy person can play both parts if need be. However, it is also equally true that the world needs men, not "alpha males" not "players" or any other ism of the modern world, but real men.

So ask yourself this, are you creating order out of chaos today?

Are you obsessed with the things of the earth, and the pussy that gives life and rebirth to us men? Now pussy and rebirth will save your soul, BUT ONLY if you're looking towards the sky and your masculine goals.

Are you focusing on your goals and your future, or are you obsessed with what the community or society thinks, and are you constantly in need of their approval: more likes, more thumbs up on social media, etc.? Are you an Instagram whore but just a phallic one?

Do your emotions guide you throughout your day, driving you off course from your goals, driving you to escape to porn or other means of vacuous entertainment? Can the world rely on you? Can your woman rely on you in her times of need? Are you a masculine rock? Or the feminine storm?

What would you die for? Do you even know? And why would any woman want you if you can't even answer that question?

Men sailed the world in ancient times, fought dragons to save the maiden, and pulled swords out of mystical rocks and not the palm of their sweaty hands! What are you doing today that someone might write about one day?

Look to the heavens gents, look to the heavens.

You all have a good porn-free Wednesday.
I'm gonna put this in my journal! AMAZING write up
 

dienekes1

Active Member
Day 625

Characteristics of men in ancient cultures and myths

- Creating masculine order out of chaos
- Solar power radiating upwards to the heavens
- Inwardly driven in their goals and ambitions
- Acting out stoically as opposed to emotionally
- Protector of family and society

Characteristics of women in ancient cultures and myths

- Representing unbridled feminine energy and earthly passions, be they sex, music, love, or art
- An earthly radiating power towards the earth and thus rebirth
- Outwardly driven in their goals, needs the support of the community
- Acting out emotionally as opposed to stoically
- Protector of her man's family and goals

Looks like we're all a bunch of women with dicks! :cool:

Just food for thought, don't take it completely literally.

Now the world needs both the feminine and the masculine spirit, one is not better than the other, and each of us have a little of both in us, and a healthy person can play both parts if need be. However, it is also equally true that the world needs men, not "alpha males" not "players" or any other ism of the modern world, but real men.

So ask yourself this, are you creating order out of chaos today?

Are you obsessed with the things of the earth, and the pussy that gives life and rebirth to us men? Now pussy and rebirth will save your soul, BUT ONLY if you're looking towards the sky and your masculine goals.

Are you focusing on your goals and your future, or are you obsessed with what the community or society thinks, and are you constantly in need of their approval: more likes, more thumbs up on social media, etc.? Are you an Instagram whore but just a phallic one?

Do your emotions guide you throughout your day, driving you off course from your goals, driving you to escape to porn or other means of vacuous entertainment? Can the world rely on you? Can your woman rely on you in her times of need? Are you a masculine rock? Or the feminine storm?

What would you die for? Do you even know? And why would any woman want you if you can't even answer that question?

Men sailed the world in ancient times, fought dragons to save the maiden, and pulled swords out of mystical rocks and not the palm of their sweaty hands! What are you doing today that someone might write about one day?

Look to the heavens gents, look to the heavens.

You all have a good porn-free Wednesday.
Great insights, Blondie. Discerning the purpose of my life has been indispensable in lighting the flame of self-improvement inside me (and the cardinal directive on this self-improvement journey is overcoming porn addiction). Finding heroic men to emulate has been similarly important, and the actions of such men have been a sort of guidepost for me on this path. One of my favorite historians once said, “The point of a role model is not servile imitation, but to offer living principles that inspire.” When I acquaint myself with brave men throughout history — Hector of Troy, Ernst Jünger, Dick Winters, William Wallace, King Alfred, and others — I feel compelled to act as they did, bravely and nobly. These particular men fought in wars, witnessed their friends perish, took the lives of other men, and bore unfathomable hardship. At the risk of sounding dramatic, if they could do that then surely we can overcome this, difficult though it may be.

At the end of the day, though, as Blondie alluded to, as men our value lies in our ability to (a) protect those close to us, (b) impose our will upon the world, and (c) live such a life that we will be remembered long after our eventual deaths.

Being addicted to PMO is not only unproductive vis-á-vis these things — but rather incredibly counterproductive. We cannot be the best versions of ourselves with this addiction hanging around our necks. I’m certain that if we were on our deathbeds, having been unable to overcome this affliction in our lifetimes, our ailing future selves would depart this earth regretting — perhaps more than anything else — that we had squandered our precious lives on the pursuit of empty sensory pleasure rather than achieving the greatness for which we were destined.
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Reflections on my self journey through Nietzsche’s Master Morality and Slave Morality

I've been reading some Nietzsche since school's been out and I have really enjoyed his thoughts and ideas - so much to unpack and think through. Although I've heard of many of his ideas before, there was one idea in particular I had never come across, or at least I hadn't from his perspective. It's his concept of master morality as opposed to slave morality. The theory goes that after studying many and diverse cultures both ancient and modern, Nietzsche came up with this idea to describe what he saw happening in each of these societies on a large scale. Thus in essence, the master morality was a morality formed by honor cultures, that is, warrior cultures, throughout the world, think of the ancient Romans, Greeks and the "barbaric" Germans (my ancestors). These cultures were warrior cultures, where "morality" was defined vertically (hierarchically) by the scared kings, nobles, and knights. Thus, morality was defined by the few and the noble, going back to my last post about the masculine spirit looking upwards and to the skies.

In honor societies like these (and not just in Europe) these common values will be found

Pride

Now this isn't the vacuous pride of the modern world, no, this is being proud of your accomplishments and commitments, both to yourself (self-actualization) but also to your family and ancestors, clan, fellow warriors and then society at large. This pride was knowing that you were self independent in all that you did. They lived in the world, they died in the world, thus they took a stand in the world, with both feet placed solidly on the ground. Think of Beowulf boasting about his deeds and those of his ancestors around a cup of ale. Pride of your deeds, pride of your ancestors and family name, pride of your accomplishments, none of these things would be considered an evil or shameful thing to admit.

Honor

Now this value is severely missing in today's culture (except for the military) but it was the hallmark of warrior cultures, thus, a master morality. If you didn't honor your commitments to your family, wife or brothers in arms, serious consequences would befall you. Your word was your life, because often peoples' life depended on it. Think of honorable characters such as Maximus from Gladiator, or the glorious honor shown throughout the book or TV series Band of Brothers.

Discipline

You were expected to be a man or woman and what society demanded from those roles, and if you didn't fit the bill you would be shamed or made an outcast. Weakness in both body, mind or spirit was not a virtue in these societies. Shame was a great motivator for action, and shame was often the method that was used. Honor cultures throughout history have used shame to keep those in line. Think of how Queen Gorgo in 300 used shame (as all women did in Sparta) to influence the heroicness of Leonidas, when she said "Come back with your shield... Or on it". In that society, and in many others, men would rather die than return a coward. Cowardice was simply not allowed in this society and it was backed up by everyone.

Strength

This goes without saying that warrior cultures will value strength of mind but also strength of body. Now this could easily be confused with modern bodybuilding or extreme weightlifting etc., which is all great, but warriors often don't look like that. As cool as Leonidas' men looked in 300, most likely, they would have been shredded but probably NOT as bulky as they were in the movie, simply because in reality, they purposely starved themselves to become mentally stronger, went on long marches, often didn't sleep, and definitely didn't have protein shakes every four hours. Nevertheless, these men were ripped and strong in their endurance AND discipline. Thus, in all warrior cultures, on a societal level, weakness would be mocked and shamed. If you were weak, you would die, which means others would die, especially women and children, it's a simple as that.

Beauty

In a traditional honor society, beauty is held up as a glorious virtue, for both men and women. Think of the Greeks and their sculptures and their love of perfect bodies and form, for both men and women. Naturally, as in today, many ancients didn't look like that, but it was noble to aspire to greatness and beauty in everything one did, thus, the leveling of modern society that we're all great and equally beautiful simply did not exist. The modern idea that not everyone looks like that or ever could, thus, it's "morally wrong" to praise the beautiful, was not a concept that was valued in the master morality of honor cultures. In the tombs of many "barbaric" Vikings, there can be found many combs and hygienic items, even combs to comb men's long beards! Furthermore from the sources it is obvious that these barbarians took their hygiene very seriously. Sloth was not accepted in these societies, and you were expected to be the best you could be. Thus, even if you were a five in the looks department, and didn't look like Hercules or Brad Pitt from Troy, you still had no excuse to let it go, and shaming the beautiful was not going to get you any sympathy.

That's enough for today, I'll write more later about the values of slave morality and the differences between the two. But you should be able to see already that there are no "sins" in this morality, but just noble virtues to look up and aspire to. Furthermore, these values are established by a hierarchy and by the nobles (worthy nobles that is), and NOT by the masses and so called plebs. After I finish describing slave morality, I will then describe my journey through life, especially getting over my porn habit, and how each of my successes and failures inevitably point towards one of these two moralities, as they say, how a man thinks, determines his reality. Needless to say, one rises up to the heavens, while the other, to the masses and the ubiquitous gutter of our modern reality. If you think that sounds "self righteous and "judgy" you would be correct, but of course, that worldview would be coming from the slave morality.

To be continued...

Let us fly high!
 
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Blondie

Respected Member
Day 626

I was just outside and looked to the heavens and a pigeon crapped on my shoulder. Complete honest truth.

I looked up some pigeon recipes, this looks nice….
@GBS
Fly.jpg

Thanks Kings! @SmokenMirrors and @dienekes1.
Discerning the purpose of my life has been indispensable in lighting the flame of self-improvement inside me (and the cardinal directive on this self-improvement journey is overcoming porn addiction).
Kudos to you brother. I know for myself, this has profoundly changed my life, just a general sense of self-improvement. Many of us use porn, because we have or had no other mission in life. Find your mission, and you won't have time for such ridiculous activities.
Finding heroic men to emulate has been similarly important, and the actions of such men have been a sort of guidepost for me on this path. One of my favorite historians once said, “The point of a role model is not servile imitation, but to offer living principles that inspire.” When I acquaint myself with brave men throughout history — Hector of Troy, Ernst Jünger, Dick Winters, William Wallace, King Alfred, and others — I feel compelled to act as they did, bravely and nobly. These particular men fought in wars, witnessed their friends perish, took the lives of other men, and bore unfathomable hardship. At the risk of sounding dramatic, if they could do that then surely we can overcome this, difficult though it may be.
Beautiful writing and absolutely true. I love how you mentioned Dick Winters, an absolute icon of true masculinity and honor, and Hector, you can't get any better than that. I too have found these heroes to be stimulating while living in a valueless world without meaning and purpose. Yes, if they can do it, we should easily be able to stop our degenerate ways.
Being addicted to PMO is not only unproductive vis-á-vis these things — but rather incredibly counterproductive. We cannot be the best versions of ourselves with this addiction hanging around our necks. I’m certain that if we were on our deathbeds, having been unable to overcome this affliction in our lifetimes, our ailing future selves would depart this earth regretting — perhaps more than anything else — that we had squandered our precious lives on the pursuit of empty sensory pleasure rather than achieving the greatness for which we were destined.
Indeed, I often reflect on my deathbed and think about these things. To my mind, hell is NOT some far off land or reality after death, it is in the here and now, and how we choose to live our lives. Our actions will determine our hell. Choose wisely!

Best brother
 
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First_step_thousand_miles

Well-Known Member
Day 625

Characteristics of men in ancient cultures and myths

- Creating masculine order out of chaos
- Solar power radiating upwards to the heavens
- Inwardly driven in their goals and ambitions
- Acting out stoically as opposed to emotionally
- Protector of family and society

Characteristics of women in ancient cultures and myths

- Representing unbridled feminine energy and earthly passions, be they sex, music, love, or art
- An earthly radiating power towards the earth and thus rebirth
- Outwardly driven in their goals, needs the support of the community
- Acting out emotionally as opposed to stoically
- Protector of her man's family and goals

Looks like we're all a bunch of women with dicks! :cool:

Just food for thought, don't take it completely literally.

Now the world needs both the feminine and the masculine spirit, one is not better than the other, and each of us have a little of both in us, and a healthy person can play both parts if need be. However, it is also equally true that the world needs men, not "alpha males" not "players" or any other ism of the modern world, but real men.

So ask yourself this, are you creating order out of chaos today?

Are you obsessed with the things of the earth, and the pussy that gives life and rebirth to us men? Now pussy and rebirth will save your soul, BUT ONLY if you're looking towards the sky and your masculine goals.

Are you focusing on your goals and your future, or are you obsessed with what the community or society thinks, and are you constantly in need of their approval: more likes, more thumbs up on social media, etc.? Are you an Instagram whore but just a phallic one?

Do your emotions guide you throughout your day, driving you off course from your goals, driving you to escape to porn or other means of vacuous entertainment? Can the world rely on you? Can your woman rely on you in her times of need? Are you a masculine rock? Or the feminine storm?

What would you die for? Do you even know? And why would any woman want you if you can't even answer that question?

Men sailed the world in ancient times, fought dragons to save the maiden, and pulled swords out of mystical rocks and not the palm of their sweaty hands! What are you doing today that someone might write about one day?

Look to the heavens gents, look to the heavens.

You all have a good porn-free Wednesday.
INCREDIBLE post man, truly no words
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Looks like I'm in a flatline of sorts, my dick hardly worked during sex, it was barely hard enough! :cool: We just laughed it off. I assume this is a flatline and not just being 40, but who knows because I've never been this far.

Bring it on.

Fuck porn and you all have a great porn-free Saturday!
 

SmokenMirrors

Well-Known Member
Looks like I'm in a flatline of sorts, my dick hardly worked during sex, it was barely hard enough! :cool: We just laughed it off. I assume this is a flatline and not just being 40, but who knows because I've never been this far.

Bring it on.

Fuck porn and you all have a great porn-free Saturday!
Could be lots of things brother, glad you saw the humour in it! It could be the stress you're currently feeling
 

First_step_thousand_miles

Well-Known Member
Looks like I'm in a flatline of sorts, my dick hardly worked during sex, it was barely hard enough! :cool: We just laughed it off. I assume this is a flatline and not just being 40, but who knows because I've never been this far.

Bring it on.

Fuck porn and you all have a great porn-free Saturday!
Shake it off my man! You've had dozens if not hundreds of proof points in the past year that everything is working fine down there, it's just a small speed bump. Definitely take it easy as you have and move on
 

Blondie

Respected Member
Day 629

Thanks gents, @SmokenMirrors and @First_step_thousand_miles, I really appreciate the encouragement. At this point I'm not too scared about this happening (I know it will pass), I think it's more just the curiosity of wondering how the brain works and how those old porn pathways still can give me a little hell that I find interesting. My cycles of flatlines have always gone like this: suddenly having vivid dreams, then sexualized thought patterns, then flatline, usually in that order, and sometimes, no sleep. Well, I had those dreams a few weeks ago, then that crazy bout of pornified thoughts (the worst I've had in half a year), then now a flatline that is also the worst I've had in probably a half a year. Also this week, sleep isn't terrible, but it's not great either. I've never been this far out before, and I think my mind is trying to fight it.

You all have a great porn-free Sunday.
 
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